It is now time to preview the NFC. Like the last post, I will preview each team in relation to 2 songs from the 80's. That is the 1980's for you young whippersnappers. I will also list each team in a predicted order of finish and with there records. On we go.
NFC East:
Dallas Cowboys (10-6):
"Digging Your Scene" - The Blow Monkeys: The talk of the preseason has been the giant screens that the Cowboys have placed over their field. There is no doubt that the other owners are jealous and I am pretty sure Dan Snyder will have some sort of hovercraft video screen within the next few weeks.
"Secret Separation" - The Fixx: Well, maybe not so secret, but the Cowboys have rid themselves of the no talent distractions Terrell Owens, Pacman Jones, Tank Johnson and Jessica Simpson. This is a good thing, well until Romo finds another blonde bimbo.
New York Giants (10-6):
"Goody Two Shoes" - Adam and the Ants: "Derr, I meant to throw it to my receiver. Lets go get some ice cream and then head to the sock hop". Giants fans, your starting QB.
"Everybody Wants to Rule the World" - Tears for Fears: This is for coach Coughlin. Currently he rules a 4x4 foot square in his back yard.
Philadelphia Eagles (8-8):
"I Know There's Something Going On" - Frida: We know Donovan McNabb is sensitive (not a good trait for a QB) and they still bring in Michael Vick. This is not going to end well.
"Legs" - ZZ Top: If the Eagles are going to succeed it rests on the legs of...oh you thought i was going to say Vick...but no, it is Brian Westbrook. If he can exceed his career high of 8 games played, things might be ok.
Washington Redskins (7-9):
"Bringing On The Heartbreak"- Def Leppard: Every year the Redskins make a big free agent signing, only to be disappointed again and again. Hey is that Strausberg over there (trying to distract the Skins fans from another disappointing season"
"Toy Soldiers" - Martika: I think this is how Dan Snyder views his team, except he has no arms and can only move them with his nose. (Somehow that made sense to me)
NFC West:
Arizona Cardinals (11-5):
"I've Done Everything For You" - Rick Springfield: ...and you've done nothing for me. This goes to Anquin Boldin, who is being paid like a long snapper though he is a top WR in the game. This offense has everything you want except a running game or an offensive line, but still should roll through the West.
"You Gotta Fight For The Right To Party" - Beastie Boys: There is a good chance your back-up QB is at a party on a yacht instead of the QB meeting right now.
Seattle Seahawks (9-7):
"Who Can It Be Now" - Men At Work: This is in relation to their running attack and the offensive lineman wondering who it is this time running into their backside for a 0 yard gain.
"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" - U2: Since they have no running attack, every receiver will be double covered thus making Hasselback go through his progressions at least 3 times before he is sacked.
San Francisco 49er's (6-10):
"How To Be A Millionaire" - ABC: For Michael Crabtree and his "advisers" saying that they are willing to sit out a year instead of accepting his slot money which is millions. Work at a fast food chain for 40 years and you might make a million dollars, which is where you are headed.
"Hold Me Now" - Thompson Twins: Frank Gore needs a hug. He is awesome, his team is not.
St Louis Rams (4-12):
"Crumbling Down" - John Cougar Mellencamp: Their offensive line on any given play.
"Living In a Box" - Living In a Box: Pretty sure this is where all of their WR would be living if they weren't on the Rams roster.
NFC North:
Minnesota Vikings (11-5)
"Hello Again" - The Cars: Hey Brett Favre, you haven't been in the news for 18 hours, better hold a retirement press conference. Being a Viking fan, I like the attention, obviously not as much as Favre though.
"Turn Me Loose" - Loverboy: This is for the hope that Favre and his ego doesn't audible out of any AP running plays. Give the ball to AP 25 times a game and you will get anywhere from 2-25 TD's a game.
Green Bay Packers (10-6):
"1999" - Prince: A somewhat return to the glory years for the Packers I think. Rodgers is solid, decent RB and really good receivers. I have no joke here, even being a Viking fan. This hurts me.
"What I Am" - Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians: What Aaron Rodgers is, and that is currently better than their former QB.
Chicago Bears (9-7):
"Space Age Love Song" - Flock of Seagulls: This is for Chicago's current love affair with their new QB, who happens to be a little spacey. This wont last long, much like any QB in Chicago for the past 30 years.
"Lunatic Fringe" - Red Rider: Brian Urlacher. Continuing the trend of great Chicago MLB's. Just a freak.
Detroit Lions (3-13):
" Road To Nowhere" - Talking Heads: Well, at least its a road. I guess. Well, maybe.
"What Have I Done To Deserve This" - Pet Shop Boys: To Calvin Johnson, the second best receiver in the league. Probably feels like a man among Pee Wee Football players.
NFC South
New Orleans Saints (10-6)
"Hungry Like The Wolf" - Duran Duran: They have an unstoppable offense led by Drew Brees, yet they have little playoff success. I think this is the year.
"Crazy" - Icehouse: The one person that could implode their team is the highly overrated tool named Jeremy Shockey. Seriously, is there anyone on the planet with talent as low as his and an ego as high as his. Oh Wait, I forgot about reality TV.
Atlanta Falcons (10-6)
"Just Like Heaven" - The Cure: How Michael Turner and Matt Ryan reacted after the arrival of Tony Gonzalez.
"Hit Me With Your Best Shot" - Pat Benatar: Turner carried the ball 373 times last year. Expect a little downturn.
Carolina Panthers (7-9)
"King of Pain" - The Police: This only applies to Steve Smith and his relationship with his teammates during training camp. Anyway you look at it, he is going to get a lot of yards and quite a few TD's
"Footloose" - Kenny Loggins: Delhomme, you need to completely forget about last year's playoffs. It is under the bridge...or stall, as are your cheerleaders.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (5-11)
"Ship of Fools" - World Party: You know that ship they have at their stadium, well it is going to be quiet this year with the rag tag bunch of QB's they have.
"Its the End of The World As We Know It" - REM: This goes out to their defense which has been awesome for the last 5-8 years. Not anymore. But they still have Chris Hovan, who I am sure nobody wants to touch.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
AFC Preview with a Little Help From the 80's
Here is my preview for the upcoming season of the AFC, only each teams preview will be tied to a two songs from the 80's that related to them. An experiment, maybe mad, but still, lets see what happens. Each team will be listed in my projected order of finish with my guess at their records.
AFC East:
New England Patriots(12-4):
"Our Lips are Sealed" - GoGo's: I truly believe that one of the Patriots could be shot, in the ICU in critical condition and Bill Belichick will list him as Questionable on the injury report. That is the thing about the Patriots, they are quite deceptive and not only on the field. Just look at Tom Brady's "injury" from last year, which leads to the second song.
"Dude Looks Like A Lady" - Aerosmith: I think his injury was fabricated so he could do more modeling. If your QB spends more time in the makeup room than his supermodel wife, that is not a good sign. Still, they run away with the division.
New York Jets (9-7):
"Relax" - Frankie Goes To Hollywood: Jets fans are up in arms. What are we going to do without a Diva QB? We need a malcontent WR to fix this so we can get on the front page instead of the Giants. Settle down. You are fine and should be in the playoff hunt, no matter the QB and with your current WR's.
"Bang Your Head" - Quiet Riot: I don't know why, but i just think Jets fans do this a lot.
Miami Dolphins (7-9):
"Everybody Have Fun Tonight" - Wang Chung: After last years incredible turnaround, they will be faced with a tougher schedule, so my guess is that for their home games they hope the opposing players head to South Beach and have a little fun. I am not a believer in Noodle Arm Pennington. Which leads to;
"Wouldn't It Be Good" - Nik Kershaw: Except I would change the title of the song to "Wouldn't It Be Good (To Have a QB Who Could Throw the Ball More Than 20 Yards).
Buffalo Bills (5-11):
"Take On ME" - Aha: ...and my baggage. Buffalo, you have no idea what you have got yourself into. Well, actually you should if you have watched any film of the 49er's, Eagles, or Cowboys over the past 10 years.
"We Built This City" - Starship: The Bills built this city into a sports town. This flirtation with Toronto needs to stop as it is not only a distraction for the players, but the fans. But TO in Canada could be fun.
AFC West:
San Diego Chargers (11-5):
"Don't You Want Me" - Human League: This is in relation to LT and Fantasy Football. He has dropped off the map. I still think he has something in the tank, and that is more than any other team in this division.
"Only Time Will Tell" - Asia: Whether or not the whole Eli crying to his daddy that he doesn't want to play in SD, so gets traded to NY for Phillip Rivers will work out better for SD. Right now I give the edge to Rivers as he is the better QB and will tear up this division. (yes, i know Eli won a Super Bowl, and I couldn't be happier that it was over the 18-1 Patriots, but the defense won that game.)
Denver Bronco's (6-10):
"Destination Unknown" - Missing Persons: This not only describes the current situation with Brandon Marshall and whether he will still be on the team in Week 1 but also, if he is, where he will be running on passing plays as he has yet to read the playbook.
"Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" - Culture Club: For Josh McDaniels and the relationship with the Bronco fans. I say the answer is a resounding yes after he somehow turned Jay Cutler into Kyle Orton. That trade would probably make Madden '10 explode.
Kansas City Chiefs (5-11):
"Money For Nothing" - Dire Straits: Lets see. We really aren't very good. Lets throw a ton of money at a QB who hasn't been a starter since high school until last year when he played on a team where even Richard Simmons could QB and look good. Bad Call.
"All I Need Is A Miracle" - Mike and The Mechanics: To Coach Todd Haley, and not only for his first season but also on whether or not he can get Larry Johnson to try.
Oakland Raiders (2-14):
"Don't Know What You Got" - Cinderella: I think Al Davis has a Special Assistant To Remind Him Who Is On His Team Each Morning.
"Land Of Confusion" - Genesis: The Raiders running an offensive play.
AFC North:
Pittsburgh Steelers (10-6):
"Back Where You Belong" - .38 Special: They are now the kings of the NFL as defending Superbowl Champions. And I am happy for them but if I hear another Steeler fan say Sixburgh, I am going to go off. Due to your running game, you may see a lot of 3 in the box this year.
"Everybody Wants You" - Billy Squier: This is also the torch you carry by being Superbowl champs, everybody is out to beat you, which I think leads to a few more losses this year.
Cincinnati Bengals (8-8):
"No More Words" - Berlin: The NFL has shot down any ideas of Chad Johnson (I will not call him by his new name) Tweeting during the game. Well, as the past has shown, telling him he can't do something, only makes him want to do it more so he gets his name in the media. I expect several tweets "I was open" on running plays this year.
"No One Is To Blame" - Howard Jones: This could be in relation to the yearly Bengal crime spree but I give this one to Andre Smith as I am guessing in his mind no one is to blame for him eating double cheeseburgers instead of working out all summer and then showing up late for camp.
Baltimore Ravens (8-8):
"Eyes Without A Face" - Billy Idol: Can you name more than 5 players on the Ravens? This song could also be used if you happen to run into Ray Lewis in an alley after a party.
"One" - Metallica: This is what the Ravens hope to gain with each run.
Cleveland Browns: (3-13)
"I'm Your Man" - WHAM: This goes to the QB battle between Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson. Each making their case during the preseason, and I would go against most people and say give the job to Anderson as he gives you the best chance at 4 wins this year. This also happens to be Brady Quinn's favorite band.
"Keep Your Hands To Yourself" - Georgia Satalites: Braylon Edwards takes this song to heart as he led the league in passes bouncing off your face mask with 31 last year.
AFC South:
Indianapolis Colts (11-5):
"Mr Roboto" - Styx: Obviously, Peyton Manning. Not only at the QB position and his stats, his audibles at the line and his throws but also his commercial. I wouldn't be surprised if he was a robot that Archie created due to his lack of success.
"Sentamental Street" - Night Ranger: This is the first year without legends Marvin Harrison and Tony Dungy. Whenever you needed a good laugh, you just stared at the beauty of their mustaches and life would be better.
Houston Texans (10-6):
"Out Of The Blue" - Debbie Gibson: This seems to be everyone's pick to make the leap this year and I am drinking that Kool-Aid. I think after last year and the turn arounds at Miami and Atlanta, everyone wants to be in on the next team. I am waiting for the person to claim every single team will improve their record this year.
"What I Like About You" - The Romantics: That would be a healthy Schaub (for now), Slaton, Johnson, Walters, Daniels and Williams. Still wish Houston had the Oilers though.
Tennessee Titans (9-7):
"Eternal Flame" - The Bangles: Kerry Collins. I don't think I have ever seen a career progression like this. Stud College QB, NFL Bust, Alcohol issues, Serviceable Backup, Starting QB, Playoff QB. I wouldn't mind that route to 40.
"Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" - WHAM: Sorry for the two WHAM references in one post, but this relates to Vince Young. You are a backup QB, nothing more. You have got more credit for one great college game than any player ever and if you ever decide to go on one of your "Pity me I am making millions of dollars" absences again, please wake us, so we can not care while awake.
Jacksonville Jaguars (7-9)
"Just Like Starting Over" - John Lennon: They are a fairly recent expansion team, generally speaking, and their WR corps are probably equal in talent. Well, at least none of them have been caught doing coke in a parking lot, yet.
"Break My Stride" - Matthew Wilder: MJD gets the backfield to himself with the departure of Fred Taylor. I think he is the second most talented running back in the league and now he gets to show his stuff. His huge year will keep the Jaguars respectable.
There is my AFC Preview, stay tuned tomorrow when I try to surf through about 80 songs about the Lions and get it down to two.
AFC East:
New England Patriots(12-4):
"Our Lips are Sealed" - GoGo's: I truly believe that one of the Patriots could be shot, in the ICU in critical condition and Bill Belichick will list him as Questionable on the injury report. That is the thing about the Patriots, they are quite deceptive and not only on the field. Just look at Tom Brady's "injury" from last year, which leads to the second song.
"Dude Looks Like A Lady" - Aerosmith: I think his injury was fabricated so he could do more modeling. If your QB spends more time in the makeup room than his supermodel wife, that is not a good sign. Still, they run away with the division.
New York Jets (9-7):
"Relax" - Frankie Goes To Hollywood: Jets fans are up in arms. What are we going to do without a Diva QB? We need a malcontent WR to fix this so we can get on the front page instead of the Giants. Settle down. You are fine and should be in the playoff hunt, no matter the QB and with your current WR's.
"Bang Your Head" - Quiet Riot: I don't know why, but i just think Jets fans do this a lot.
Miami Dolphins (7-9):
"Everybody Have Fun Tonight" - Wang Chung: After last years incredible turnaround, they will be faced with a tougher schedule, so my guess is that for their home games they hope the opposing players head to South Beach and have a little fun. I am not a believer in Noodle Arm Pennington. Which leads to;
"Wouldn't It Be Good" - Nik Kershaw: Except I would change the title of the song to "Wouldn't It Be Good (To Have a QB Who Could Throw the Ball More Than 20 Yards).
Buffalo Bills (5-11):
"Take On ME" - Aha: ...and my baggage. Buffalo, you have no idea what you have got yourself into. Well, actually you should if you have watched any film of the 49er's, Eagles, or Cowboys over the past 10 years.
"We Built This City" - Starship: The Bills built this city into a sports town. This flirtation with Toronto needs to stop as it is not only a distraction for the players, but the fans. But TO in Canada could be fun.
AFC West:
San Diego Chargers (11-5):
"Don't You Want Me" - Human League: This is in relation to LT and Fantasy Football. He has dropped off the map. I still think he has something in the tank, and that is more than any other team in this division.
"Only Time Will Tell" - Asia: Whether or not the whole Eli crying to his daddy that he doesn't want to play in SD, so gets traded to NY for Phillip Rivers will work out better for SD. Right now I give the edge to Rivers as he is the better QB and will tear up this division. (yes, i know Eli won a Super Bowl, and I couldn't be happier that it was over the 18-1 Patriots, but the defense won that game.)
Denver Bronco's (6-10):
"Destination Unknown" - Missing Persons: This not only describes the current situation with Brandon Marshall and whether he will still be on the team in Week 1 but also, if he is, where he will be running on passing plays as he has yet to read the playbook.
"Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" - Culture Club: For Josh McDaniels and the relationship with the Bronco fans. I say the answer is a resounding yes after he somehow turned Jay Cutler into Kyle Orton. That trade would probably make Madden '10 explode.
Kansas City Chiefs (5-11):
"Money For Nothing" - Dire Straits: Lets see. We really aren't very good. Lets throw a ton of money at a QB who hasn't been a starter since high school until last year when he played on a team where even Richard Simmons could QB and look good. Bad Call.
"All I Need Is A Miracle" - Mike and The Mechanics: To Coach Todd Haley, and not only for his first season but also on whether or not he can get Larry Johnson to try.
Oakland Raiders (2-14):
"Don't Know What You Got" - Cinderella: I think Al Davis has a Special Assistant To Remind Him Who Is On His Team Each Morning.
"Land Of Confusion" - Genesis: The Raiders running an offensive play.
AFC North:
Pittsburgh Steelers (10-6):
"Back Where You Belong" - .38 Special: They are now the kings of the NFL as defending Superbowl Champions. And I am happy for them but if I hear another Steeler fan say Sixburgh, I am going to go off. Due to your running game, you may see a lot of 3 in the box this year.
"Everybody Wants You" - Billy Squier: This is also the torch you carry by being Superbowl champs, everybody is out to beat you, which I think leads to a few more losses this year.
Cincinnati Bengals (8-8):
"No More Words" - Berlin: The NFL has shot down any ideas of Chad Johnson (I will not call him by his new name) Tweeting during the game. Well, as the past has shown, telling him he can't do something, only makes him want to do it more so he gets his name in the media. I expect several tweets "I was open" on running plays this year.
"No One Is To Blame" - Howard Jones: This could be in relation to the yearly Bengal crime spree but I give this one to Andre Smith as I am guessing in his mind no one is to blame for him eating double cheeseburgers instead of working out all summer and then showing up late for camp.
Baltimore Ravens (8-8):
"Eyes Without A Face" - Billy Idol: Can you name more than 5 players on the Ravens? This song could also be used if you happen to run into Ray Lewis in an alley after a party.
"One" - Metallica: This is what the Ravens hope to gain with each run.
Cleveland Browns: (3-13)
"I'm Your Man" - WHAM: This goes to the QB battle between Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson. Each making their case during the preseason, and I would go against most people and say give the job to Anderson as he gives you the best chance at 4 wins this year. This also happens to be Brady Quinn's favorite band.
"Keep Your Hands To Yourself" - Georgia Satalites: Braylon Edwards takes this song to heart as he led the league in passes bouncing off your face mask with 31 last year.
AFC South:
Indianapolis Colts (11-5):
"Mr Roboto" - Styx: Obviously, Peyton Manning. Not only at the QB position and his stats, his audibles at the line and his throws but also his commercial. I wouldn't be surprised if he was a robot that Archie created due to his lack of success.
"Sentamental Street" - Night Ranger: This is the first year without legends Marvin Harrison and Tony Dungy. Whenever you needed a good laugh, you just stared at the beauty of their mustaches and life would be better.
Houston Texans (10-6):
"Out Of The Blue" - Debbie Gibson: This seems to be everyone's pick to make the leap this year and I am drinking that Kool-Aid. I think after last year and the turn arounds at Miami and Atlanta, everyone wants to be in on the next team. I am waiting for the person to claim every single team will improve their record this year.
"What I Like About You" - The Romantics: That would be a healthy Schaub (for now), Slaton, Johnson, Walters, Daniels and Williams. Still wish Houston had the Oilers though.
Tennessee Titans (9-7):
"Eternal Flame" - The Bangles: Kerry Collins. I don't think I have ever seen a career progression like this. Stud College QB, NFL Bust, Alcohol issues, Serviceable Backup, Starting QB, Playoff QB. I wouldn't mind that route to 40.
"Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" - WHAM: Sorry for the two WHAM references in one post, but this relates to Vince Young. You are a backup QB, nothing more. You have got more credit for one great college game than any player ever and if you ever decide to go on one of your "Pity me I am making millions of dollars" absences again, please wake us, so we can not care while awake.
Jacksonville Jaguars (7-9)
"Just Like Starting Over" - John Lennon: They are a fairly recent expansion team, generally speaking, and their WR corps are probably equal in talent. Well, at least none of them have been caught doing coke in a parking lot, yet.
"Break My Stride" - Matthew Wilder: MJD gets the backfield to himself with the departure of Fred Taylor. I think he is the second most talented running back in the league and now he gets to show his stuff. His huge year will keep the Jaguars respectable.
There is my AFC Preview, stay tuned tomorrow when I try to surf through about 80 songs about the Lions and get it down to two.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Fantasy Football WR Rankings
These will be a little shorter blurbs about each player since I am going 30 deep with these rankings. With WR's, it gets more into a grey area with each one you rank as there is a lot of other factors that related to WR's and to a lesser extent, TE's. But here we go:
1. Larry Fitzgerald (AZ): Is clearly the #1 WR on the list. This is even if Mr. "Haven't Missed a Party since I was a Freshman in High School" somehow takes over at QB".
2. Andre Johnson (Hou): Averaged almost 100 yds a game receiving last year, even with Sage (and I like Sage) as your QB. I will take that every week.
3. Randy Moss (NE): Everyone knows about his talent, no one knows about his desire, well other than his desire to look foolish quite a bit. Brady is back, and we know what he did last time with Brady at QB.
4. Steve Smith (Car): Didn't catch as many TD's last year but the yards and looks were there. Barring any unforeseen (or actually foreseen) attacks on teammates, he should be a top 5 WR.
5. Calvin Johnson (Det): An 0-16 team starting either a rookie QB or the nursing home version of Daunte Culpepper drops him a few notches even if he is the 2nd most talented WR in the league.
6. Roddy White (Atl): Had 1382 yds last season and 7 TD's without absolutely no help in the WR or TE corps. Add Tony Gonzalez into the equations along with an up and coming QB and one of the best running games in the league, and I think all his numbers increase.
7. Greg Jennings (GB): Each year, he has the quietest really good stats of any FF WR. Has a really good QB that hasn't caused any distractions in the past year by retiring and unretiring every 8 minutes.
8. Reggie Wayne (Ind): As long as he is able to remember all 642 audibles that Peyton uses each drive, he should be solid. No more Harrison and a solid Gonzalez and Clark among the receiving corps.
9. Marques Colston (NO): Drew Brees likes to throw the ball, really likes to throw the ball, so you have to have a Saint in your top ten. Colston missed basically 6 1/2 games last year and still put up some good stats when he was healthy, so I think he breaks from the pack as their top WR.
10. Bernard Berrian (MN): Let's just say he had a good year last year with Gus and T-Jack as his QB. I believe Grey Beard and Sage are upgrades.
11. TJ Houshmanzadeh (Sea): Moving from Cincinnati to Seattle is a huge upgrade especially since the Seahawks were devastated by injuries last year. Now assuming everyone stays healthy for the first time since Jim Zorn and Curt Warner were roaming the sidelines, I see a huge year from him.
12. Anquan Boldin (AZ): The first #2 receiver to join this list, but he really isn't a #2 receiver. More like a #5 receiver if you look at how he is being paid.
13. Lee Evans (Buff): This may be a shock to anyone reading this, but Evan's stats were somewhat comparable to TO last year. Now with defense's still thinking TO is an elite receiver, for whatever reason, I think it opens things up for Evans.
14. Vincent Jackson (SD): He quietly had over 1000 yds last year and 7 TD's. Has a great starting QB and plays 6 games against the ghost's of their former pasts: The Bronco's, Raider's and Cheif's. This is my sleeper #2 WR.
15. Lavernues Coles (Cin): Henry and their new kicker have been mentioned as being the primary beneficiaries of having Palmer back (Carson, not Jordan) but I have a hunch it will be Coles. I am pretty sure they will need to throw the ball, a lot.
16. DeSean Jackson (Phil): Rumor has it he spent the whole off season taking college level courses on where the goal line is and when it is OK to drop the ball while running past it. I like this offense, should put up big numbers.
17. Antonio Bryant (TB): Had huge numbers last year but I have no idea who is throwing to him and I don't like the options available. Also, lets throw a malcontent TE into the mix. TB is the one team that could be 4-12 or 12-4 and it wouldn't surprise me.
18. Dwayne Bowe: (KC): An obvious talent, but has started the season in the doghouse, so it drops him a few notches. And since Todd Haley put his best player in the doghouse, it is going to need 52 rooms by the end of the preseason.
19. Wes Welker (NE): You cannot deny the hands on someone who is somehow able to catch 111 passes from Matt Cassel in a year when if you tally up all of his completed passes in games in his career, to get to 111, you might have to go back to middle school.
20. Santonio Holmes (Pit): It is known that the Steelers will be good. But for fantasy purposes, they haven't been that great. Holmes should be solid as long as he doesn't take the route of the last WR to catch a game winning Super Bowl TD. Seriously, if your going to wear sweatpants, put the safety on, everyone knows that.
21. Braylon Edwards (Cle): Not sold on Cleveland's offense at all. If fact, they may have a game where they have negative yards. But he is really their only threat, so he should get some numbers as a #2-3 WR on your roster. (Wow, I just typed something about the Browns without making a joke about Brady Quinn, I am evolving as a writer)
22. Terrell Owens (Buff): Has made the worst off season decisions of anyone I have ever seen. The Superstars, The TO Show, Buffalo? This is a guy starving for attention that needs to realize that he can get that attention by dedicating his off season to learning the art of catching a football.
23. Kevin Walter (Hou): As you have seen by my rankings, I am kinda huge on the Houston offense. Walter has his QB back, Slaton at RB and Johnson and Daniels keeping him from double teams. I like his chances.
24. Eddie Royal (Den): Someone has to do something in this offense that will be down by 20 every game. I bet its Royal.
25. Santana Moss (Wash): In all honesty, should maybe be a little bit higher as he is a #1 receiver. My guess though is Dan Snyder somehow gets in his way, whether it be trading for a bigger name, less talented WR or by physically injuring him since he isn't brash enough.
26. Anthony Gonzalez (Indy): The Colts will pass enough to spread it around and he has shown enough to consider him as your #3 WR or if you inexplicably play in a 26 team league, a #1 WR.
27. Brandon Marshall (Den (for now)): My favorite quote of the year: "I am not even close to learning the playbook". And it was said this week. Tremendous talent. Tremendous moron.
28. Roy Williams (Dal): Could be a good sleeper at this level. If he continues to focus his efforts on improving and not exposing the Romo-Witten love affair, he could be good.
29. Jericho Cotchery (NYJ): Lost his gunslinger as a QB where it didn't matter if he ran the route as the ball would end up 20 yards from him and he would have to go get it and his WR mate. Still, he is basically their only option in the passing game.
30. Chad Ochocinco (Cin): It hurts me just to type that last name. Should be better this year with Carson back and should recover from being a 3rd round draft pick in Fantasy Football last year and being dropped by week 3 and not being picked up again. My guess is he won't be dropped this year.
The next 15 (In no particular order): These could replace any of the last 6-7 depending on your gut feelings: Devin Hester, Steve Breaston, Percy Harvin, Ted Ginn Jr, Derrick Mason, Chris Henry, Donald Driver, Lance Moore, Dominek Hixon, Jeremy Maclin, Hines Ward, Josh Morgan, Donnie Avery, Justin Gage, & Mushin Mohammed.
TE, K and DEF/ST to go.
1. Larry Fitzgerald (AZ): Is clearly the #1 WR on the list. This is even if Mr. "Haven't Missed a Party since I was a Freshman in High School" somehow takes over at QB".
2. Andre Johnson (Hou): Averaged almost 100 yds a game receiving last year, even with Sage (and I like Sage) as your QB. I will take that every week.
3. Randy Moss (NE): Everyone knows about his talent, no one knows about his desire, well other than his desire to look foolish quite a bit. Brady is back, and we know what he did last time with Brady at QB.
4. Steve Smith (Car): Didn't catch as many TD's last year but the yards and looks were there. Barring any unforeseen (or actually foreseen) attacks on teammates, he should be a top 5 WR.
5. Calvin Johnson (Det): An 0-16 team starting either a rookie QB or the nursing home version of Daunte Culpepper drops him a few notches even if he is the 2nd most talented WR in the league.
6. Roddy White (Atl): Had 1382 yds last season and 7 TD's without absolutely no help in the WR or TE corps. Add Tony Gonzalez into the equations along with an up and coming QB and one of the best running games in the league, and I think all his numbers increase.
7. Greg Jennings (GB): Each year, he has the quietest really good stats of any FF WR. Has a really good QB that hasn't caused any distractions in the past year by retiring and unretiring every 8 minutes.
8. Reggie Wayne (Ind): As long as he is able to remember all 642 audibles that Peyton uses each drive, he should be solid. No more Harrison and a solid Gonzalez and Clark among the receiving corps.
9. Marques Colston (NO): Drew Brees likes to throw the ball, really likes to throw the ball, so you have to have a Saint in your top ten. Colston missed basically 6 1/2 games last year and still put up some good stats when he was healthy, so I think he breaks from the pack as their top WR.
10. Bernard Berrian (MN): Let's just say he had a good year last year with Gus and T-Jack as his QB. I believe Grey Beard and Sage are upgrades.
11. TJ Houshmanzadeh (Sea): Moving from Cincinnati to Seattle is a huge upgrade especially since the Seahawks were devastated by injuries last year. Now assuming everyone stays healthy for the first time since Jim Zorn and Curt Warner were roaming the sidelines, I see a huge year from him.
12. Anquan Boldin (AZ): The first #2 receiver to join this list, but he really isn't a #2 receiver. More like a #5 receiver if you look at how he is being paid.
13. Lee Evans (Buff): This may be a shock to anyone reading this, but Evan's stats were somewhat comparable to TO last year. Now with defense's still thinking TO is an elite receiver, for whatever reason, I think it opens things up for Evans.
14. Vincent Jackson (SD): He quietly had over 1000 yds last year and 7 TD's. Has a great starting QB and plays 6 games against the ghost's of their former pasts: The Bronco's, Raider's and Cheif's. This is my sleeper #2 WR.
15. Lavernues Coles (Cin): Henry and their new kicker have been mentioned as being the primary beneficiaries of having Palmer back (Carson, not Jordan) but I have a hunch it will be Coles. I am pretty sure they will need to throw the ball, a lot.
16. DeSean Jackson (Phil): Rumor has it he spent the whole off season taking college level courses on where the goal line is and when it is OK to drop the ball while running past it. I like this offense, should put up big numbers.
17. Antonio Bryant (TB): Had huge numbers last year but I have no idea who is throwing to him and I don't like the options available. Also, lets throw a malcontent TE into the mix. TB is the one team that could be 4-12 or 12-4 and it wouldn't surprise me.
18. Dwayne Bowe: (KC): An obvious talent, but has started the season in the doghouse, so it drops him a few notches. And since Todd Haley put his best player in the doghouse, it is going to need 52 rooms by the end of the preseason.
19. Wes Welker (NE): You cannot deny the hands on someone who is somehow able to catch 111 passes from Matt Cassel in a year when if you tally up all of his completed passes in games in his career, to get to 111, you might have to go back to middle school.
20. Santonio Holmes (Pit): It is known that the Steelers will be good. But for fantasy purposes, they haven't been that great. Holmes should be solid as long as he doesn't take the route of the last WR to catch a game winning Super Bowl TD. Seriously, if your going to wear sweatpants, put the safety on, everyone knows that.
21. Braylon Edwards (Cle): Not sold on Cleveland's offense at all. If fact, they may have a game where they have negative yards. But he is really their only threat, so he should get some numbers as a #2-3 WR on your roster. (Wow, I just typed something about the Browns without making a joke about Brady Quinn, I am evolving as a writer)
22. Terrell Owens (Buff): Has made the worst off season decisions of anyone I have ever seen. The Superstars, The TO Show, Buffalo? This is a guy starving for attention that needs to realize that he can get that attention by dedicating his off season to learning the art of catching a football.
23. Kevin Walter (Hou): As you have seen by my rankings, I am kinda huge on the Houston offense. Walter has his QB back, Slaton at RB and Johnson and Daniels keeping him from double teams. I like his chances.
24. Eddie Royal (Den): Someone has to do something in this offense that will be down by 20 every game. I bet its Royal.
25. Santana Moss (Wash): In all honesty, should maybe be a little bit higher as he is a #1 receiver. My guess though is Dan Snyder somehow gets in his way, whether it be trading for a bigger name, less talented WR or by physically injuring him since he isn't brash enough.
26. Anthony Gonzalez (Indy): The Colts will pass enough to spread it around and he has shown enough to consider him as your #3 WR or if you inexplicably play in a 26 team league, a #1 WR.
27. Brandon Marshall (Den (for now)): My favorite quote of the year: "I am not even close to learning the playbook". And it was said this week. Tremendous talent. Tremendous moron.
28. Roy Williams (Dal): Could be a good sleeper at this level. If he continues to focus his efforts on improving and not exposing the Romo-Witten love affair, he could be good.
29. Jericho Cotchery (NYJ): Lost his gunslinger as a QB where it didn't matter if he ran the route as the ball would end up 20 yards from him and he would have to go get it and his WR mate. Still, he is basically their only option in the passing game.
30. Chad Ochocinco (Cin): It hurts me just to type that last name. Should be better this year with Carson back and should recover from being a 3rd round draft pick in Fantasy Football last year and being dropped by week 3 and not being picked up again. My guess is he won't be dropped this year.
The next 15 (In no particular order): These could replace any of the last 6-7 depending on your gut feelings: Devin Hester, Steve Breaston, Percy Harvin, Ted Ginn Jr, Derrick Mason, Chris Henry, Donald Driver, Lance Moore, Dominek Hixon, Jeremy Maclin, Hines Ward, Josh Morgan, Donnie Avery, Justin Gage, & Mushin Mohammed.
TE, K and DEF/ST to go.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
The Toughest Jobs in Sports
Before we get to my WR rankings, I was watching the PGA Championship this weekend, it got me thinking, what are the toughest jobs in sports. This could be on the field or off the field, as long as it is related to sports. And to lead things off, what started this whole process:
1. Golf Cameraman: You are basically asked to follow a 2-inch orb travelling at over 100 miles per hours. Sure the guys next to green recording the putts have it pretty easy "Hmmm, let me set the camera down in the line of the putt and go grab a hot dog", but the cameramen who have to record shots off the tee have it extremely difficult. Can you imagine the guy who loses Tiger Woods ball on any of his shots? I am pretty sure the network would have you shot, that is a lot of pressure, especially if it ends up being a hole in one, you might be hanged in a public forum.
2. Agent for an NFL Wide Receiver: They are the Diva's of any sport. They are like the first born child after another one is born...craving attention as they are not involved in every play. Sure we have the high profile guys like TO, Randy Moss and Chad Nobody O'Cinco, but you don't have to be good to be a diva. Prime examples are Freddie Mitchell and Chris Henry. Their thought process must go something like this "Hmmm, my actions on the field aren't getting me on TV, maybe I should do something illegal or make outrageous claims that will get me on TV, rather than practice". And these agents, who I normally despise, have to put up with them and defend them, not an easy job.
3. Umpires: I am not talking about the guys patrolling 1st, 2nd or 3rd base. But the guy behind the plate. On any close pitch, if you call it a strike, one team and fans hate you. If you call it a ball, the other teams hates you. Basically you are hated no matter what you do. I am pretty sure if I was an umpire, I would probably throw 30 people out each game, including fans. Or just call everything a strike to get the game over with sooner.
4. Marketing Director for the NHL: The NHL has fallen off the map in terms of major sports, I actually think soccer has passed it. How can you market this in the US? "Well, we are probably on Channel 2385 of your cable providers channel listing. And if you get a degree in the letter V, you might know some of the players." In all honesty, there are very few American players left in a sport trying to make it in America. This would be like trying to send a bunch of American bowlers from the PBA over to Laos...well, that would have a better chance of succeeding as bowlers are known for their outgoing personalities.
5. NBA Referees: It has to be difficult to remember which team you are suppose to call the fouls on each game.
6. Any basketball player who loves to play basketball and has to play with Kobe Bryant: It has to be difficult, to love the game of basketball and know that there is only a 0.007% chance you will see the ball on any possession. For those that voted for him for MVP, do you not watch the games? He is MSP - Most Selfish Player. He would rather go 1 on 5 than pass the ball to a teammate. This is why I stopped watching the NBA and watch College Basketball.
7. Long Snapper: You have one job and if you mess up...it is shown over and over again. Plus you get mauled by the other team as they think "Hmmm, this guy has other things to worry about, maybe I will beat him after the snap."
8. Beer salesman in the lower section of Yankee Stadium: "Umm, anyone here...anyone? Ohh there is someone, you want a Martini, shaken not stirred...OK, let me go get that guy."
1. Golf Cameraman: You are basically asked to follow a 2-inch orb travelling at over 100 miles per hours. Sure the guys next to green recording the putts have it pretty easy "Hmmm, let me set the camera down in the line of the putt and go grab a hot dog", but the cameramen who have to record shots off the tee have it extremely difficult. Can you imagine the guy who loses Tiger Woods ball on any of his shots? I am pretty sure the network would have you shot, that is a lot of pressure, especially if it ends up being a hole in one, you might be hanged in a public forum.
2. Agent for an NFL Wide Receiver: They are the Diva's of any sport. They are like the first born child after another one is born...craving attention as they are not involved in every play. Sure we have the high profile guys like TO, Randy Moss and Chad Nobody O'Cinco, but you don't have to be good to be a diva. Prime examples are Freddie Mitchell and Chris Henry. Their thought process must go something like this "Hmmm, my actions on the field aren't getting me on TV, maybe I should do something illegal or make outrageous claims that will get me on TV, rather than practice". And these agents, who I normally despise, have to put up with them and defend them, not an easy job.
3. Umpires: I am not talking about the guys patrolling 1st, 2nd or 3rd base. But the guy behind the plate. On any close pitch, if you call it a strike, one team and fans hate you. If you call it a ball, the other teams hates you. Basically you are hated no matter what you do. I am pretty sure if I was an umpire, I would probably throw 30 people out each game, including fans. Or just call everything a strike to get the game over with sooner.
4. Marketing Director for the NHL: The NHL has fallen off the map in terms of major sports, I actually think soccer has passed it. How can you market this in the US? "Well, we are probably on Channel 2385 of your cable providers channel listing. And if you get a degree in the letter V, you might know some of the players." In all honesty, there are very few American players left in a sport trying to make it in America. This would be like trying to send a bunch of American bowlers from the PBA over to Laos...well, that would have a better chance of succeeding as bowlers are known for their outgoing personalities.
5. NBA Referees: It has to be difficult to remember which team you are suppose to call the fouls on each game.
6. Any basketball player who loves to play basketball and has to play with Kobe Bryant: It has to be difficult, to love the game of basketball and know that there is only a 0.007% chance you will see the ball on any possession. For those that voted for him for MVP, do you not watch the games? He is MSP - Most Selfish Player. He would rather go 1 on 5 than pass the ball to a teammate. This is why I stopped watching the NBA and watch College Basketball.
7. Long Snapper: You have one job and if you mess up...it is shown over and over again. Plus you get mauled by the other team as they think "Hmmm, this guy has other things to worry about, maybe I will beat him after the snap."
8. Beer salesman in the lower section of Yankee Stadium: "Umm, anyone here...anyone? Ohh there is someone, you want a Martini, shaken not stirred...OK, let me go get that guy."
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Fantasy Football Preview - The RB's
RB's are the most difficult to project. You have time shares in the backfield, guys who seem to always get injured, guys who had a strong run at the end of last year, and of course, New England and Denver starting 14 running backs a year. Here are my rankings based on gut feelings and research...a lot of the earlier.
1. Adrian Peterson (MN): Is he the best running back in the NFL? Yes. Is he the best running back in the NFL for fantasy purposes? That is up for debate. But I am taking the guy who can break off a 70 yard run on 3rd and 4, when I am down by 12 points in my fantasy match up on Monday night in the 4th quarter.
2. Michael Turner (Atl): I think there is some regression here. They have to run Norwood and his 5.4 ypc, he had somewhere near 6438 carries last year and this is his second year as a feature back. But, they have added Gonzalez to take off some of the pressure and that should open some lanes.
3. Steve Slaton (Hou): This is my first leap of faith. 4.8 ypc and 1200 yds in his rookie season along with 50 receptions and he gets his starting QB back. To top it off he has no competition at RB. Seriously, I think they have 4 hobo's and Gary Coleman competing with him. Big year here.
4. Maurice Jones-Drew (Jack): I normally don't trust people with hyphenated last names (yes I am looking at you Courtney Thorne-Smith) but I believe in MJD - Fred Taylor. Skip the criticism about his height...he has performed well at this height for many years. Scouts are idiots with too many charts.
5. Brandon Jacobs (NYG): Is a beast and no longer has Derrick Ward. As long as Elisha doesn't camp out in the backfield playing with his Barbie's before he hands Jacobs the ball, he should be a stud #1 fantasy RB.
6. Frank Gore (SF): The only question is will they run after they are down by 14 in the first 10 minutes. But Gore gets his yards and is a beast. He is also motivated by not having to see his coach drop his pants at halftime, and trust me, that is a big motivation.
7. LaDianian Tomlinson (SD): What are you kidding me? LT at #7? Yep, I don't trust him anymore. He had 3.8 ypc last year. Reggie Bush had the same average. But he is still LT and Stay Classy San Diego, so he gets #7 on this list.
8. Chris Johnson (TN): The first back with a true dual back situation but you can't deny the fact that his 3rd string QB thinks himself to be a hall of famer so he must think he is a tunnel of celebriter...or something like that. Good team, good running game, he will be fine.
9. DeAngelo Williams (Car): Had 18 rushing TD's last year. His only strike is his counterpart in the backfield had 10. And only 13 of those were from them stealing the ball after a Delhomme interception.
10. Clinton Portis (Wash): Never been a huge fan until I realized that he has 8 personalities and that just has to confuse a defense when he comes out in a Toga. He always has stats though and with that passing game, they are going to need all 8 of them.
11. Derrick Ward (TB): Had 1000 yds last year as a #2 back. His competition is Earnest Graham and Omni Hatchback Williams. Enough said.
12. Matt Forte (Chi): I am not sold yet. He had a good year last year and now has a QB that doesn't resemble a drifter, only a surfer, which is an upgrade. Don't want him as my #1 RB.
13. Brian Westbrook (Phil): I think he just injured a calf while i was typing this, and not the animal type, that would be more up Tom Brady's line of work. His injuries are more frequent than Rosie O'Donnell's requests to the networks to do anything, anything on TV again (Seriously, I make people laugh...ok, person, laugh). Plus he has a hot shot rookie looking for carries.
14. Stephan Jackson (Stl): This ranking has nothing to do with his talent, he is a top 5 talent. It has more to do with the fact that I don't believe there is anyone on his offense that hasn't spent a significant amount of time in the Arena Football League.
15. Thomas Jones (NYJ): I have never been a big believer in Jones but last year he proved me wrong, for the first time in 7 years. The Jets have to run since they lost that frisky young gunslinger for a QB from last year.
16. Ryan Grant (GB): In all honesty, he should be higher, I just couldn't find a space for him. GB offense will be good. Oh wait, that's right...he went to Notre Dame...he could suck.
17. Donald Brown (Ind): Indy is going to have a good RB this year and I know it is not named Addai. Brown should flourish in Peyton's offense and be a strong rookie of the year candidate. And if he is not, I am sure the Manning family will have him properly disposed of.
18. MarShawn Lynch (Buff): Would be higher if it weren't for that crazy Roger Goodell and his whole against players committing crimes thing. If you take him as your #2, make sure to grab a #3 for the first 3 weeks. "Hey watch my show in VH1, it is totally real, not scripted at all, here let me do some sit ups for you....uggh...arggh"...ok got the microphone back from TO.
19. Darren McFadden (Oak): Another hunch here. Think he is going to try and pad his stats so he can somehow get out of Oakland. What he doesn't realize though is that he works for the undead. You can't escape them, I have tried.
20. Ronnie Brown (Mia): Little known fact is that the Wildcat was dreamed up in Laos by Ricky Williams. Good for 1000 yds and 8 tds. Not Ricky Williams mind you. I repeat, not Ricky Williams
Next Five: Marion Barber (too much competition for touches that don't include Jessica Simpson), Willis McGahee (inconsistent), Pierre Thomas (Reggie - No Talent Clown = Better Year From Him), LenDale White (Lost 30 pounds by not drinking tequila, who would have known), Larry Johnson (Larry is too lazy to write why.)
Dont Even Think About (until your 3rd RB): Hightower/Wells, Cedric Benson, Joseph Addai, Julius Jones
Other good Sleepers (Non Rookie): Jamal Lewis (no competition), The Denver or NE RB (if you know who is starting at draft time, move them up this list now, ....no seriously, now), Kevin Smith, Reggie Bush (could be a breakout year, like last year or the year before, just ask someone at his house in So Cal.), Parker/Mendenhall (I think Parker is done, and who hasn't needed a good Mendenhall for a sore throat), Darren "Verne Troyer" Sproles, Jonathan Stewart, Jerious Norwood.
The Rookies (In Order): Donald Brown, Knowshon Moreno, Lesean McCoy, Shonn Greene, Glen Coffee, Ian Johnson
Handcuffs: Ray Rice, Choice/Jones (in that order for Dallas), No call on the NE/Den handcuffs, Maurice Morris, Ricky Williams, Ahmad Bradshaw, Leon Washington, Fargus/Bush (in that order for Oakland), Ladell Betts, Graham/Williams (in that order for TB).
Next up the WR...which should be interesting
1. Adrian Peterson (MN): Is he the best running back in the NFL? Yes. Is he the best running back in the NFL for fantasy purposes? That is up for debate. But I am taking the guy who can break off a 70 yard run on 3rd and 4, when I am down by 12 points in my fantasy match up on Monday night in the 4th quarter.
2. Michael Turner (Atl): I think there is some regression here. They have to run Norwood and his 5.4 ypc, he had somewhere near 6438 carries last year and this is his second year as a feature back. But, they have added Gonzalez to take off some of the pressure and that should open some lanes.
3. Steve Slaton (Hou): This is my first leap of faith. 4.8 ypc and 1200 yds in his rookie season along with 50 receptions and he gets his starting QB back. To top it off he has no competition at RB. Seriously, I think they have 4 hobo's and Gary Coleman competing with him. Big year here.
4. Maurice Jones-Drew (Jack): I normally don't trust people with hyphenated last names (yes I am looking at you Courtney Thorne-Smith) but I believe in MJD - Fred Taylor. Skip the criticism about his height...he has performed well at this height for many years. Scouts are idiots with too many charts.
5. Brandon Jacobs (NYG): Is a beast and no longer has Derrick Ward. As long as Elisha doesn't camp out in the backfield playing with his Barbie's before he hands Jacobs the ball, he should be a stud #1 fantasy RB.
6. Frank Gore (SF): The only question is will they run after they are down by 14 in the first 10 minutes. But Gore gets his yards and is a beast. He is also motivated by not having to see his coach drop his pants at halftime, and trust me, that is a big motivation.
7. LaDianian Tomlinson (SD): What are you kidding me? LT at #7? Yep, I don't trust him anymore. He had 3.8 ypc last year. Reggie Bush had the same average. But he is still LT and Stay Classy San Diego, so he gets #7 on this list.
8. Chris Johnson (TN): The first back with a true dual back situation but you can't deny the fact that his 3rd string QB thinks himself to be a hall of famer so he must think he is a tunnel of celebriter...or something like that. Good team, good running game, he will be fine.
9. DeAngelo Williams (Car): Had 18 rushing TD's last year. His only strike is his counterpart in the backfield had 10. And only 13 of those were from them stealing the ball after a Delhomme interception.
10. Clinton Portis (Wash): Never been a huge fan until I realized that he has 8 personalities and that just has to confuse a defense when he comes out in a Toga. He always has stats though and with that passing game, they are going to need all 8 of them.
11. Derrick Ward (TB): Had 1000 yds last year as a #2 back. His competition is Earnest Graham and Omni Hatchback Williams. Enough said.
12. Matt Forte (Chi): I am not sold yet. He had a good year last year and now has a QB that doesn't resemble a drifter, only a surfer, which is an upgrade. Don't want him as my #1 RB.
13. Brian Westbrook (Phil): I think he just injured a calf while i was typing this, and not the animal type, that would be more up Tom Brady's line of work. His injuries are more frequent than Rosie O'Donnell's requests to the networks to do anything, anything on TV again (Seriously, I make people laugh...ok, person, laugh). Plus he has a hot shot rookie looking for carries.
14. Stephan Jackson (Stl): This ranking has nothing to do with his talent, he is a top 5 talent. It has more to do with the fact that I don't believe there is anyone on his offense that hasn't spent a significant amount of time in the Arena Football League.
15. Thomas Jones (NYJ): I have never been a big believer in Jones but last year he proved me wrong, for the first time in 7 years. The Jets have to run since they lost that frisky young gunslinger for a QB from last year.
16. Ryan Grant (GB): In all honesty, he should be higher, I just couldn't find a space for him. GB offense will be good. Oh wait, that's right...he went to Notre Dame...he could suck.
17. Donald Brown (Ind): Indy is going to have a good RB this year and I know it is not named Addai. Brown should flourish in Peyton's offense and be a strong rookie of the year candidate. And if he is not, I am sure the Manning family will have him properly disposed of.
18. MarShawn Lynch (Buff): Would be higher if it weren't for that crazy Roger Goodell and his whole against players committing crimes thing. If you take him as your #2, make sure to grab a #3 for the first 3 weeks. "Hey watch my show in VH1, it is totally real, not scripted at all, here let me do some sit ups for you....uggh...arggh"...ok got the microphone back from TO.
19. Darren McFadden (Oak): Another hunch here. Think he is going to try and pad his stats so he can somehow get out of Oakland. What he doesn't realize though is that he works for the undead. You can't escape them, I have tried.
20. Ronnie Brown (Mia): Little known fact is that the Wildcat was dreamed up in Laos by Ricky Williams. Good for 1000 yds and 8 tds. Not Ricky Williams mind you. I repeat, not Ricky Williams
Next Five: Marion Barber (too much competition for touches that don't include Jessica Simpson), Willis McGahee (inconsistent), Pierre Thomas (Reggie - No Talent Clown = Better Year From Him), LenDale White (Lost 30 pounds by not drinking tequila, who would have known), Larry Johnson (Larry is too lazy to write why.)
Dont Even Think About (until your 3rd RB): Hightower/Wells, Cedric Benson, Joseph Addai, Julius Jones
Other good Sleepers (Non Rookie): Jamal Lewis (no competition), The Denver or NE RB (if you know who is starting at draft time, move them up this list now, ....no seriously, now), Kevin Smith, Reggie Bush (could be a breakout year, like last year or the year before, just ask someone at his house in So Cal.), Parker/Mendenhall (I think Parker is done, and who hasn't needed a good Mendenhall for a sore throat), Darren "Verne Troyer" Sproles, Jonathan Stewart, Jerious Norwood.
The Rookies (In Order): Donald Brown, Knowshon Moreno, Lesean McCoy, Shonn Greene, Glen Coffee, Ian Johnson
Handcuffs: Ray Rice, Choice/Jones (in that order for Dallas), No call on the NE/Den handcuffs, Maurice Morris, Ricky Williams, Ahmad Bradshaw, Leon Washington, Fargus/Bush (in that order for Oakland), Ladell Betts, Graham/Williams (in that order for TB).
Next up the WR...which should be interesting
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
An Open Letter To My Daughter
I visited the Minnesota Vikings training camp today and was going to write about that experience, but as I was leaving, what I saw I couldn't believe. The whole way home, I wrote this in my mind, while shedding a few tears, I hope it comes out ok.
Dear Sweet Little Girl,
Today I went to my favorite football team, The Minnesota Vikings, training camp. I watched my favorite athletes run, catch and throw and it got me excited for the new season of football that is about to start.
As I left the field I was shocked, and I promise I will never do this to you. I saw fathers telling their kids to ask for items like wristbands, jerseys and gloves that the players used during practice. They used their kids as pawns so they could sell the items on something called ebay.
See, you are a 4 month old girl and just discovering the wonderful things in life like your feet and rolling on your tummy. You have yet to experience sports but when you do, if you don't like them, that's ok.
I want you to experience everything in life, so I will take you to a Vikings training camp. If you want to sit and watch the punter punt balls and say to daddy "See how high that one went?", we can do that all day. If you want to watch the players running around running plays, we can do that all day. If you want to see the players close up, daddy will lift you high on his shoulders so you can see them as they leave the field, not asking you to get him an autograph.
See, if we go to a game or training camp and you don't like football or baseball, that's OK. I got to spend a day with my little girl and we will find something else you love to do. If that's dancing, daddy will be at every recital. If its soccer, daddy will play with you in the back yard all night until your bedtime. If it is painting, he will put everything you ever paint on the fridge or wall. If it is writing, he will read every word you write.
See, I am here to introduce you to things, and you decide which ones you like, and daddy will be there to support you the whole way. If a Vikings game is on and you have a recital, well you know daddy is going to be watching you dance your feet off and smiling the whole time.
I will show you the Vikings and the Twins but in the end I want you to love what you love to do, not what I love to do.
And, if someday down the road, 20 years later, you decide to watch the Twins or Vikings on Sunday with your dad, well that will be the best day of my life. Well, other than the day you were born, my sweet little girl.
Dad
Dear Sweet Little Girl,
Today I went to my favorite football team, The Minnesota Vikings, training camp. I watched my favorite athletes run, catch and throw and it got me excited for the new season of football that is about to start.
As I left the field I was shocked, and I promise I will never do this to you. I saw fathers telling their kids to ask for items like wristbands, jerseys and gloves that the players used during practice. They used their kids as pawns so they could sell the items on something called ebay.
See, you are a 4 month old girl and just discovering the wonderful things in life like your feet and rolling on your tummy. You have yet to experience sports but when you do, if you don't like them, that's ok.
I want you to experience everything in life, so I will take you to a Vikings training camp. If you want to sit and watch the punter punt balls and say to daddy "See how high that one went?", we can do that all day. If you want to watch the players running around running plays, we can do that all day. If you want to see the players close up, daddy will lift you high on his shoulders so you can see them as they leave the field, not asking you to get him an autograph.
See, if we go to a game or training camp and you don't like football or baseball, that's OK. I got to spend a day with my little girl and we will find something else you love to do. If that's dancing, daddy will be at every recital. If its soccer, daddy will play with you in the back yard all night until your bedtime. If it is painting, he will put everything you ever paint on the fridge or wall. If it is writing, he will read every word you write.
See, I am here to introduce you to things, and you decide which ones you like, and daddy will be there to support you the whole way. If a Vikings game is on and you have a recital, well you know daddy is going to be watching you dance your feet off and smiling the whole time.
I will show you the Vikings and the Twins but in the end I want you to love what you love to do, not what I love to do.
And, if someday down the road, 20 years later, you decide to watch the Twins or Vikings on Sunday with your dad, well that will be the best day of my life. Well, other than the day you were born, my sweet little girl.
Dad
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Fantasy Football Preview - The QB's
This is a start of another series of posts. I am going to preview each position for fantasy football purposes. My qualifications? I have played fantasy football since the 80's. OK, so that is all of my qualifications. I rely heavily on my gut feelings but also do my share of research. Here are the QB's (these ranking assume Brett Favre wont un-retire in the next hour or so):
1. Drew Brees (NO): He is the only QB that deserves 1st round consideration. He is just that good. I don't know if he gets extra strength from his face beaver or what. He has 3 solid receivers and a decent (though vastly overrated and kind of a jerk) TE. He should have the full attention of Reggie Bush this year too since he doesn't have to carry around that no-talent Kim Kardashian on his back anymore.
2. Kurt Warner (AZ): Let's see. MVP? Yep. The top Receiver in the game? Yep. Two other top 25 WR's? Yep. No running game what-so-ever? Yep. Brenda Warner finally done with plastic surgery? Let's hope.
3. Peyton Manning (Indy): Some may say that he lost Harrison, well really, Harrison wasn't really there last year. He has Wayne, Clark and Gonzalez and what hopefully will be an improved running game. If he focuses on football and not 342 commercials per week, he should be fine.
4. Tom Brady (NE): You cannot deny that he may be the top QB in the league, just not in fantasy. There are questions about his comeback from injury, NE's running game, Randy Moss actually trying and him and Giselle actually creating a Super Baby that takes over the entire Eastern Seaboard.
5. Aaron Rodgers (GB): He was 6th in passer rating last year, He has Driver, Jennings and Nelson, a strong running game and shouldn't have Brett Favre calling him every Sunday morning at 3am asking him if his toilet is running. I see a good year from him.
6. Philip Rivers (SD): He has the best TE in the league, capable WR's and one of the best RB's. What's not to like. Well, looking at the roster, there are 2 Malcolm Floyd's on the roster and that could be confusing, especially if one can catch and the other drops them like he is TO.
7. Donovan Mcnabb (Philly): Has maybe his best talent around him ever, which may cause him to throw up. I can see a monster year from him as long as Westbrook doesn't pull a hammy by sitting.
8. Matt Hasselback (Seattle): Basically has gained TJ Housh, Branch and Burleson this year. That is a pretty good haul. The only problem is that defense's may drop 11 back since there is absolutely no running game.
9. Matt Ryan (Atlanta): Had an amazing rookie year and now you add Tony Gonzalez to the mix. Could be a sleeper top 5 QB. That is unless Arthur Blank goes on a drinking binge and forgets the whole Michael Vick saga and signs him.
10. Tony Romo (Dallas): Dallas fans should be excited about Jessica Simpson being gone. They shouldn't be excited about their receiving corp's other than Jason Witten. But a strong running game and somewhat capable receivers should give Romo top ten status.
11. Matt Schaub (Houston): He has Steve Slaton running the ball, Andre Johnson, Kevin Walter and Owen Daniels catching everything in sight. Let's hope he doesn't feel the pressure of Rex Grossman and Dan Orlovsky breathing down his neck...from about 50 yards away.
12. Carson Palmer (Cincy): This is assuming Chris Henry doesn't rob or shoot at anybody over the next month. Cincy is going to need to throw the ball and if freak show and Henry can remain focused, his talent should make for a good year.
13. Ben Roethlisberger (Pitt): Don't let this ranking fool you. He is one of the best QB's in the league. Fantasy wise, not so much. As long as he doesn't hang out with Jeff Reed, he should be a great spot starter.
14. Jake Delhomme (Carolina): Steve Smith. Running Game. Enough said.
15. Jay Cutler (Chicago): This has nothing to do with his talent. It has everything to do with the talent around him. There are no Brandon Marshall's or Eddie Royal's on this roster. In fact, I'm not sure they even have any WR's on the roster. Plus, as reported today, Urlacher thinks he is a...ummm...wuss. I would agree with that.
16. Trent Edwards (Buffalo): A good backup QB. Just make sure if you draft him that the week you need him is in the first half of the year before the Terrell Owens virus completely infects this team.
17. Marc Bulger (STL): I believe in his talent. I don't believe in his offensive line, TE, WR's. Those are kinda important.
18. Eli Manning (NYG): Look at his stats after Plaxico decided a loaded gun with the safety off in sweatpants was a good idea. And they lost Derrick Ward. The Giants are going to be good. I just don't think Eli will be. Oh, I'm sorry Eli, did that make you cry?
19. Sage Rosenfels (Minn): I think he could be a sleeper in this whole thing. He has to beat out T-Jack. He had one bad game that everyone still talks about, but his stats otherwise were pretty good. T-Jack had one good game and well...Gus Ferotte was better than him.
20. Matt Cassel (KC): Only reason he is here. Dwayne Bowe. I think his last season was a product of the system and having a good team. I don't think either of those exist here.
Others to keep your eye on: Joe Flacco (lost all his WR's), Jason Cambell (so-so even with good talent around him), Kyle Orton (yes, I said Kyle Orton), David Garrard (doesn't get many yards), and Brady Quinn (uggghh) or Derek Anderson.
Stay away from: Hill/Smith (SF), Stafford/Culpepper (Det), Pennington (Mia), Clemens/Sanchez (NYJ), Russell/Garcia (Oak), Collins/Young (Ten), Leftwich (TB).
RB's up next...
1. Drew Brees (NO): He is the only QB that deserves 1st round consideration. He is just that good. I don't know if he gets extra strength from his face beaver or what. He has 3 solid receivers and a decent (though vastly overrated and kind of a jerk) TE. He should have the full attention of Reggie Bush this year too since he doesn't have to carry around that no-talent Kim Kardashian on his back anymore.
2. Kurt Warner (AZ): Let's see. MVP? Yep. The top Receiver in the game? Yep. Two other top 25 WR's? Yep. No running game what-so-ever? Yep. Brenda Warner finally done with plastic surgery? Let's hope.
3. Peyton Manning (Indy): Some may say that he lost Harrison, well really, Harrison wasn't really there last year. He has Wayne, Clark and Gonzalez and what hopefully will be an improved running game. If he focuses on football and not 342 commercials per week, he should be fine.
4. Tom Brady (NE): You cannot deny that he may be the top QB in the league, just not in fantasy. There are questions about his comeback from injury, NE's running game, Randy Moss actually trying and him and Giselle actually creating a Super Baby that takes over the entire Eastern Seaboard.
5. Aaron Rodgers (GB): He was 6th in passer rating last year, He has Driver, Jennings and Nelson, a strong running game and shouldn't have Brett Favre calling him every Sunday morning at 3am asking him if his toilet is running. I see a good year from him.
6. Philip Rivers (SD): He has the best TE in the league, capable WR's and one of the best RB's. What's not to like. Well, looking at the roster, there are 2 Malcolm Floyd's on the roster and that could be confusing, especially if one can catch and the other drops them like he is TO.
7. Donovan Mcnabb (Philly): Has maybe his best talent around him ever, which may cause him to throw up. I can see a monster year from him as long as Westbrook doesn't pull a hammy by sitting.
8. Matt Hasselback (Seattle): Basically has gained TJ Housh, Branch and Burleson this year. That is a pretty good haul. The only problem is that defense's may drop 11 back since there is absolutely no running game.
9. Matt Ryan (Atlanta): Had an amazing rookie year and now you add Tony Gonzalez to the mix. Could be a sleeper top 5 QB. That is unless Arthur Blank goes on a drinking binge and forgets the whole Michael Vick saga and signs him.
10. Tony Romo (Dallas): Dallas fans should be excited about Jessica Simpson being gone. They shouldn't be excited about their receiving corp's other than Jason Witten. But a strong running game and somewhat capable receivers should give Romo top ten status.
11. Matt Schaub (Houston): He has Steve Slaton running the ball, Andre Johnson, Kevin Walter and Owen Daniels catching everything in sight. Let's hope he doesn't feel the pressure of Rex Grossman and Dan Orlovsky breathing down his neck...from about 50 yards away.
12. Carson Palmer (Cincy): This is assuming Chris Henry doesn't rob or shoot at anybody over the next month. Cincy is going to need to throw the ball and if freak show and Henry can remain focused, his talent should make for a good year.
13. Ben Roethlisberger (Pitt): Don't let this ranking fool you. He is one of the best QB's in the league. Fantasy wise, not so much. As long as he doesn't hang out with Jeff Reed, he should be a great spot starter.
14. Jake Delhomme (Carolina): Steve Smith. Running Game. Enough said.
15. Jay Cutler (Chicago): This has nothing to do with his talent. It has everything to do with the talent around him. There are no Brandon Marshall's or Eddie Royal's on this roster. In fact, I'm not sure they even have any WR's on the roster. Plus, as reported today, Urlacher thinks he is a...ummm...wuss. I would agree with that.
16. Trent Edwards (Buffalo): A good backup QB. Just make sure if you draft him that the week you need him is in the first half of the year before the Terrell Owens virus completely infects this team.
17. Marc Bulger (STL): I believe in his talent. I don't believe in his offensive line, TE, WR's. Those are kinda important.
18. Eli Manning (NYG): Look at his stats after Plaxico decided a loaded gun with the safety off in sweatpants was a good idea. And they lost Derrick Ward. The Giants are going to be good. I just don't think Eli will be. Oh, I'm sorry Eli, did that make you cry?
19. Sage Rosenfels (Minn): I think he could be a sleeper in this whole thing. He has to beat out T-Jack. He had one bad game that everyone still talks about, but his stats otherwise were pretty good. T-Jack had one good game and well...Gus Ferotte was better than him.
20. Matt Cassel (KC): Only reason he is here. Dwayne Bowe. I think his last season was a product of the system and having a good team. I don't think either of those exist here.
Others to keep your eye on: Joe Flacco (lost all his WR's), Jason Cambell (so-so even with good talent around him), Kyle Orton (yes, I said Kyle Orton), David Garrard (doesn't get many yards), and Brady Quinn (uggghh) or Derek Anderson.
Stay away from: Hill/Smith (SF), Stafford/Culpepper (Det), Pennington (Mia), Clemens/Sanchez (NYJ), Russell/Garcia (Oak), Collins/Young (Ten), Leftwich (TB).
RB's up next...
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Brett Favre to Stay Retired Until At Least Thursday, Maybe
I take Brett Favre retirement news like I view reality TV (Yes, I am looking at you TO). Completely scripted, don't believe a word of it, and makes me want to stab a pencil through my eyes. With that being said, I am a Vikings fan and being from Mankato, was looking forward to Favre coming to training camp. But, I am actually happy he is not going to be a Viking for a few reasons.
1. After rooting against him for so many years playing for the Packers, I don't see how I could root for him now. And actually I am a little upset at all the Vikings fans who were so quick to jump on the Favre bandwagon knowing that it is going to take 3 months to decide whether to turn right or left at the stop sign. It would be like Jordan going to the Pistons, Jeter going to the Red Sox, or some hockey player going to another hockey team i think.
2. We don't need a prima donna who requires his own dressing room and a makeup artist. We have an unselfish superstar, I am OK with that.
3. I don't think Favre would take being second fiddle very well. He, obviously with all this retirement/non-retirement every freaking offseason, needs to be the center of attention. This is Adrian Peterson's offense and that is that. If Favre came here, I could see him audibling out of 10-15 Peterson run plays a game to throw into triple coverage.
4. He really isn't that good anymore. He single-handily caused the Jets to miss the playoffs last year because he wouldn't take a few games off to let his injury heal and let the backup QB play and maybe win them a game or two. Now is he an upgrade over T-Jack? 100% yes. He would have to be 70 and using a walker to not be an upgrade over T-Jack. Better than taking our chances with Sage? I don't think so. We need a QB who can make a few throws and control the game. We don't need a QB who needs to win us the game. We have a RB and Defense that can do that. I think Sage will be fine. Of course Childress may start his love child T-Jack, and then all bets are off.
5. It didn't seem like his heart was into it and I'm not talking about football here. I am talking about his offseason retirement/non-retirement media blitz. Last year we had press conferences, him out riding on his tractor, more press conferences, throwing footballs to high schooler's and more press conferences. He did everything he could to make sure he was in the news everyday. This year, we just had him throwing footballs to high schoolers. That's it. If he can't commit to his yearly offseason program of being in our face on camera everyday, how committed is he going to be once the season starts. He will be out of shape.
So, I will say for the first time, well since I last made Tater Tot Hotdish, In Sage We Trust.
1. After rooting against him for so many years playing for the Packers, I don't see how I could root for him now. And actually I am a little upset at all the Vikings fans who were so quick to jump on the Favre bandwagon knowing that it is going to take 3 months to decide whether to turn right or left at the stop sign. It would be like Jordan going to the Pistons, Jeter going to the Red Sox, or some hockey player going to another hockey team i think.
2. We don't need a prima donna who requires his own dressing room and a makeup artist. We have an unselfish superstar, I am OK with that.
3. I don't think Favre would take being second fiddle very well. He, obviously with all this retirement/non-retirement every freaking offseason, needs to be the center of attention. This is Adrian Peterson's offense and that is that. If Favre came here, I could see him audibling out of 10-15 Peterson run plays a game to throw into triple coverage.
4. He really isn't that good anymore. He single-handily caused the Jets to miss the playoffs last year because he wouldn't take a few games off to let his injury heal and let the backup QB play and maybe win them a game or two. Now is he an upgrade over T-Jack? 100% yes. He would have to be 70 and using a walker to not be an upgrade over T-Jack. Better than taking our chances with Sage? I don't think so. We need a QB who can make a few throws and control the game. We don't need a QB who needs to win us the game. We have a RB and Defense that can do that. I think Sage will be fine. Of course Childress may start his love child T-Jack, and then all bets are off.
5. It didn't seem like his heart was into it and I'm not talking about football here. I am talking about his offseason retirement/non-retirement media blitz. Last year we had press conferences, him out riding on his tractor, more press conferences, throwing footballs to high schooler's and more press conferences. He did everything he could to make sure he was in the news everyday. This year, we just had him throwing footballs to high schoolers. That's it. If he can't commit to his yearly offseason program of being in our face on camera everyday, how committed is he going to be once the season starts. He will be out of shape.
So, I will say for the first time, well since I last made Tater Tot Hotdish, In Sage We Trust.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
The Ultimate AL 2nd Half Preview
OK, we previewed the NL a few days ago, now it is time to focus on the AL 2nd half preview before devoting my attention to the NFL and Fantasy Football. Here we go:
AL East:
NY Yankees: The Yankees have been surprisingly quiet so far this year, as this is normally their time of year to shine and buy a non-championship. With Pedro Martinez being signed by the Phillies though, their target market of players who are 38 and were great 10 years ago is now limited. Prediction: Just Missing the Wild Card
Boston Red Sox: It has been reported that the Red Sox acquired 1B Andy LaRoche today from the Pirates. It could be a decent trade assuming David Ortiz doesn't utter the words, "Mmm, Papi hungry. Give me the new guy here to take my place." I am pretty sure that is why Dice-K is now on the disabled list with his injury listed as "Ingestbipapi". Prediction: Missing the playoffs...(just let out a little woohoo)
Tampa Bay Rays: They have the young legs and should be fresher for the second half as it seems they haven't exerted much energy in the first half. Also, it seems that guys really want to play for this team, as phenom pitcher David Price's salary is $0 according to ESPN. Prediction: Division Winners
Toronto Blue Jays: They are looking to sell off their best player in Roy Halladay. Things aren't looking good for them, though they only have 16 more years of Vernon Well's contract of $4.2 million per hour. Prediction: Continue their fall.
Baltimore Orioles: In a few years, they could become the Tampa Bay Rays of this division with their young talent. That is of course only if Peter Angelos doesn't trade of Adam Jones, Nick Markakis and Matt Wieters for the aforementioned Vernon Wells. Prediction: 4th place.
AL Central:
Detroit Tigers: They have been devastated by injuries, which is what happens when you spend so much time in Jim Leyland's smoke-filled office, you lose a little lung capacity. I don't foresee them holding on. Prediction: Just missing the playoffs.
Chicago White Sox: GM Kenny Williams is known for making some big trades around the deadline. If he can somehow manage to trade AJ Pierzynski before a member of his own team kills him, they have a shot. Prediction: Due to the utter lack of competition among the bottom two, i guess 3rd place.
Minnesota Twins: Not since the days of Puckett, Hrbek, Gaetti and Brunansky have the Twins had a middle of the lineup that could hit it out of the park like this. Now if the guppies (formally known as the piranha's) could get on base more than once every 5 at bats we might have something. Prediction: Winning the Division
Kansas City Royals: A 4th place finish here would be huge. For that to happen though, I think Greinke will need to win another 30 games on his own, preferably without any fielders behind him to screw it up. Prediction: Another last place finish.
Cleveland Indians: They were suppose to be so much better, but that is the chance you take when you add Carl Pavano to your roster. He turned Cliff Lee from Cy Young to Cy Sperling. (Yes, I will be here all week) Prediction: Threaten the White Sox for 3rd.
AL West:
LA Angels: They survived a horrible tragedy to start the year and Torii Hunter has been one of many to bring them through it. This is a feel good story. Prediction: Winning the Division
Texas Rangers: They made it through the A-Rod is on our team, and though he is immensely talented, he is a loser, years. They still have the hitting, and now have added some pitching. Prediction: Wild Card
Seattle Mariners: They brought back Ken Griffey Jr for one final run. So now they may have 2 of the 3 best pure hitters of the last 15 years (other being Mauer). Unfortunately, Griffey is no longer in the top 150. Prediction: Hovering around .500 all year.
Oakland A's: They will probably get rid of Matt Holiday and that will leave them with Jack Cust as the only player that is on anyone in their right mind's fantasy roster. That is never a good sign. Prediction: Maybe next decade.
My final predictions, including the NL from my last post:
NL:
Rockies over the Phillies in 6
Dodgers over the Pirates in 5
Rockies over the Dodgers in 5
AL:
Twins over the Rangers in 5
Angels over the Rays in 7
Angels over the Twins in 7
Angels over the Rockies in 6
AL East:
NY Yankees: The Yankees have been surprisingly quiet so far this year, as this is normally their time of year to shine and buy a non-championship. With Pedro Martinez being signed by the Phillies though, their target market of players who are 38 and were great 10 years ago is now limited. Prediction: Just Missing the Wild Card
Boston Red Sox: It has been reported that the Red Sox acquired 1B Andy LaRoche today from the Pirates. It could be a decent trade assuming David Ortiz doesn't utter the words, "Mmm, Papi hungry. Give me the new guy here to take my place." I am pretty sure that is why Dice-K is now on the disabled list with his injury listed as "Ingestbipapi". Prediction: Missing the playoffs...(just let out a little woohoo)
Tampa Bay Rays: They have the young legs and should be fresher for the second half as it seems they haven't exerted much energy in the first half. Also, it seems that guys really want to play for this team, as phenom pitcher David Price's salary is $0 according to ESPN. Prediction: Division Winners
Toronto Blue Jays: They are looking to sell off their best player in Roy Halladay. Things aren't looking good for them, though they only have 16 more years of Vernon Well's contract of $4.2 million per hour. Prediction: Continue their fall.
Baltimore Orioles: In a few years, they could become the Tampa Bay Rays of this division with their young talent. That is of course only if Peter Angelos doesn't trade of Adam Jones, Nick Markakis and Matt Wieters for the aforementioned Vernon Wells. Prediction: 4th place.
AL Central:
Detroit Tigers: They have been devastated by injuries, which is what happens when you spend so much time in Jim Leyland's smoke-filled office, you lose a little lung capacity. I don't foresee them holding on. Prediction: Just missing the playoffs.
Chicago White Sox: GM Kenny Williams is known for making some big trades around the deadline. If he can somehow manage to trade AJ Pierzynski before a member of his own team kills him, they have a shot. Prediction: Due to the utter lack of competition among the bottom two, i guess 3rd place.
Minnesota Twins: Not since the days of Puckett, Hrbek, Gaetti and Brunansky have the Twins had a middle of the lineup that could hit it out of the park like this. Now if the guppies (formally known as the piranha's) could get on base more than once every 5 at bats we might have something. Prediction: Winning the Division
Kansas City Royals: A 4th place finish here would be huge. For that to happen though, I think Greinke will need to win another 30 games on his own, preferably without any fielders behind him to screw it up. Prediction: Another last place finish.
Cleveland Indians: They were suppose to be so much better, but that is the chance you take when you add Carl Pavano to your roster. He turned Cliff Lee from Cy Young to Cy Sperling. (Yes, I will be here all week) Prediction: Threaten the White Sox for 3rd.
AL West:
LA Angels: They survived a horrible tragedy to start the year and Torii Hunter has been one of many to bring them through it. This is a feel good story. Prediction: Winning the Division
Texas Rangers: They made it through the A-Rod is on our team, and though he is immensely talented, he is a loser, years. They still have the hitting, and now have added some pitching. Prediction: Wild Card
Seattle Mariners: They brought back Ken Griffey Jr for one final run. So now they may have 2 of the 3 best pure hitters of the last 15 years (other being Mauer). Unfortunately, Griffey is no longer in the top 150. Prediction: Hovering around .500 all year.
Oakland A's: They will probably get rid of Matt Holiday and that will leave them with Jack Cust as the only player that is on anyone in their right mind's fantasy roster. That is never a good sign. Prediction: Maybe next decade.
My final predictions, including the NL from my last post:
NL:
Rockies over the Phillies in 6
Dodgers over the Pirates in 5
Rockies over the Dodgers in 5
AL:
Twins over the Rangers in 5
Angels over the Rays in 7
Angels over the Twins in 7
Angels over the Rockies in 6
Monday, July 20, 2009
The Ultimate NL 2nd Half Preview
So baseball season is just over the halfway point, so it is time to preview the 2nd half, as I wait, being a resident of Mankato, Minnesota, for Brett Favre to come and mow my lawn. We are going to start with the NL or as they call it, the sucky, i mean senior circuit.
NL East:
Philadelphia Phillies: Rumor is that they are the front-runners in the Roy Halladay sweepstakes. I'm sorry, I must have missed it, but where do you buy tickets for the Roy Halladay sweepstakes? I could use some work around the house and think with his beard, he is probably quite handy. Prediction: NL East winners.
Atlanta Braves: How can a team with Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine and John Smoltz be hovering around .500? Oh, they don't still have them. Umm, they would be better if they did. Prediction: 2nd half tank job.
Florida Marlins: Somehow they are always in the mix even though they have a budget equal to the number of fans that show up for each game. $8. Prediction: Just misses the Wild Card.
New York Mets: They seem to have started their 2nd half collapse a little early. I guess that will allow New Yorker's a few extra months to talk themselves into Matt Sanchez. Prediction: Nowhere near the playoffs.
Washington Nationals: It is sad to see a franchise of 3 years suffer so long. What? They used to be the Montreal Expos? Oh, stop it. There is no baseball in Canada. That is a Curling nation. Prediction: Might win 6-7 games in the 2nd half.
NL Central:
St Louis Cardinals: There is talk that Albert Pujols might win the Triple Crown. I think that would be awesome as I have never seen a man beat a horse in a race, let alone three times. Prediction: Missing the playoffs.
Chicago Cubs: They spent alot of money in the off season and the results have been somewhat disappointing. I was sure Milton Bradley would have robbed all of the other players of their money by now but so far it has only been Fukudome, who has been robbing the franchise for a couple years now. Prediction: No playoffs here.
Milwaukee Brewers: Somehow they have remained in the chase even though Prince Fielder has eaten the city out of all their fruits and vegetables. They still have beer though. Prediction: Just miss the wild card.
Houston Astros: They used to be the Killer B's. But when the Killer B's are now Tim Byrdak, Geoff Blum, and Michael Bourn, I really don't like their chances. Prediction: Hanging out in Jeff Bagwell's basement playing PS3 in October.
Cincinnati Reds: Well, at least they get to see Bronson Arroyo air guitar. Prediction: Umm, they have a good shot at hitting a home run in the second half.
Pittsburgh Pirates: They come together despite the GM trading Jack Wilson and Freddy Sanchez to Atlanta for Jeff Francoeur. After Atlanta tells them they no longer have Jeff, the Pirates say, "Oh well, go ahead and keep them. Our bad." Prediction: Division Winners.
NL West:
LA Dodgers: There is a good chance that Manny will injure himself running to the bathroom while a ball is hit his way in left field. At the same time Scott Boras is run over by a tank. Not necessarily related but I can dream. Prediction: Running away with the division.
SF Giants: It is quite odd to say that a team's strength is pitching when they have Barry Zito on the roster, but with Lincecum, Cain, Johnson and Sanchez they have a good rotation. Only if Bengie Molina could recruit a few of his brothers to play, well several positions, they might be able to get a hit. Prediction: Just miss the playoffs by a hair on Randy Johnson mullet.
Colorado Rockies: They have just enough offense and pitching to make this division interesting. Not as interesting as paying Todd Helton $16 million a year, but still interesting. Prediction: Wild Card
Arizona Diamondbacks: Well, you have the best pitcher in baseball right now. Do you trade him? Do you keep him? I say trade him for Johan Santana just to blow the baseball minds with the question, Why? Prediction: Will be golfing by June...what, its already July. Ok, golfing by July.
San Diego Padres: You are only 21 games out. If your Adrian Gonzalez, do you have this struggle everyday as you drive to the stadium? Hmm, Beach or Ballpark? Prediction: 20 games behind at the end.
NL East:
Philadelphia Phillies: Rumor is that they are the front-runners in the Roy Halladay sweepstakes. I'm sorry, I must have missed it, but where do you buy tickets for the Roy Halladay sweepstakes? I could use some work around the house and think with his beard, he is probably quite handy. Prediction: NL East winners.
Atlanta Braves: How can a team with Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine and John Smoltz be hovering around .500? Oh, they don't still have them. Umm, they would be better if they did. Prediction: 2nd half tank job.
Florida Marlins: Somehow they are always in the mix even though they have a budget equal to the number of fans that show up for each game. $8. Prediction: Just misses the Wild Card.
New York Mets: They seem to have started their 2nd half collapse a little early. I guess that will allow New Yorker's a few extra months to talk themselves into Matt Sanchez. Prediction: Nowhere near the playoffs.
Washington Nationals: It is sad to see a franchise of 3 years suffer so long. What? They used to be the Montreal Expos? Oh, stop it. There is no baseball in Canada. That is a Curling nation. Prediction: Might win 6-7 games in the 2nd half.
NL Central:
St Louis Cardinals: There is talk that Albert Pujols might win the Triple Crown. I think that would be awesome as I have never seen a man beat a horse in a race, let alone three times. Prediction: Missing the playoffs.
Chicago Cubs: They spent alot of money in the off season and the results have been somewhat disappointing. I was sure Milton Bradley would have robbed all of the other players of their money by now but so far it has only been Fukudome, who has been robbing the franchise for a couple years now. Prediction: No playoffs here.
Milwaukee Brewers: Somehow they have remained in the chase even though Prince Fielder has eaten the city out of all their fruits and vegetables. They still have beer though. Prediction: Just miss the wild card.
Houston Astros: They used to be the Killer B's. But when the Killer B's are now Tim Byrdak, Geoff Blum, and Michael Bourn, I really don't like their chances. Prediction: Hanging out in Jeff Bagwell's basement playing PS3 in October.
Cincinnati Reds: Well, at least they get to see Bronson Arroyo air guitar. Prediction: Umm, they have a good shot at hitting a home run in the second half.
Pittsburgh Pirates: They come together despite the GM trading Jack Wilson and Freddy Sanchez to Atlanta for Jeff Francoeur. After Atlanta tells them they no longer have Jeff, the Pirates say, "Oh well, go ahead and keep them. Our bad." Prediction: Division Winners.
NL West:
LA Dodgers: There is a good chance that Manny will injure himself running to the bathroom while a ball is hit his way in left field. At the same time Scott Boras is run over by a tank. Not necessarily related but I can dream. Prediction: Running away with the division.
SF Giants: It is quite odd to say that a team's strength is pitching when they have Barry Zito on the roster, but with Lincecum, Cain, Johnson and Sanchez they have a good rotation. Only if Bengie Molina could recruit a few of his brothers to play, well several positions, they might be able to get a hit. Prediction: Just miss the playoffs by a hair on Randy Johnson mullet.
Colorado Rockies: They have just enough offense and pitching to make this division interesting. Not as interesting as paying Todd Helton $16 million a year, but still interesting. Prediction: Wild Card
Arizona Diamondbacks: Well, you have the best pitcher in baseball right now. Do you trade him? Do you keep him? I say trade him for Johan Santana just to blow the baseball minds with the question, Why? Prediction: Will be golfing by June...what, its already July. Ok, golfing by July.
San Diego Padres: You are only 21 games out. If your Adrian Gonzalez, do you have this struggle everyday as you drive to the stadium? Hmm, Beach or Ballpark? Prediction: 20 games behind at the end.
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