Fantasy Football Preview '09 - The QB's

Since this was originally a fantasy sports humor site, it might be wise to post some fantasy related content (or looking at my last few months, any content). I have migrated more towards the actual sports scene, or as i perceive it. But here for your enjoyment is the start of a extremely early preview of fantasy football '09. We will start with the QB's and each group will be broken into 6 categories based on their '08 performances:

Welcome Back to Relevence:

Kurt Warner: He has done the most with the fewest weapons to bring himself back. It seems he put all of his chips in with God on two incredible WR's. I personally would have have maybe selected 1 great WR and a wife that doesn't look like an uncle, or at least a RB.

Donovan McNabb: He has underperformed since his first bowl of Chunky Soup that he couldn't finish, saying "Mom, I am going to puke, kinda like if i was in a huddle in the 4th quarter". But now he has Brian Westbrook and his Scooter to lead the way and he has had a pretty good season. The Philly fans will still lob insults at him and his top WR will continue to forget where the goal line is, but he isn't a bust anymore.

The Young Guns:

Aaron Rodgers: In his first year (he's not Brett Favre) he has done very well (but he's not Brett Favre) and accumulated some nice fantasy points (but not like Brett Favre) for his owners this year (but not like Brett Favre) and leading fantasy teams to the playoffs (unlike Brett Favre, i mean like Brett Favre). The only difference that matters fantasy wise between him and Brett is that Aaron has scored about 50 more points fantasy wise.

Matt Ryan: See Patriot fans what you can do if your from Boston and don't feel disrespected 99% of the time. For him to turn the Vick 'situation' around in one season and become a valuable fantasy starter is nothing short of amazing. I think the last Falcon QB to complete more than 50% of his passes was Steve Bartkowski.

Wait Until Next Year:

Tyler Thigpen: Who would have thunk. If the Vikings didn't have such legendary QB's last year like Tavarus Jackson, Kelly Holcomb and Brooks Bollinger, KC wouldn't have been able to grab him off our practice squad. And the fact that he is doing all this without an offensive line makes me want to punch Brad Childress in the, well i have already wanted to punch him in every imaginable spot, so i guess we start over with the larynx.

Matt Cassell: The only thing that scares me is the huge eyes and head and that he looks like an alien. Wait, that is Sam Cassell. Matt Cassell didn't even play in college. And the Patriot offense isn't the system, sorry you Brady lovers, you put him on Cleveland...wait, there is already one Brady there trying to hide his sexuality.

The New Super Stars:

Drew Brees: Weapons abound. Accuracy better than few others. Thing on his face like no others. My favorite thing about Brees is that he looks like he is trying to completely ignore that tool Shockey who is not good. He will be one of the top 3 QB's in your draft next year.

Jay Cutler: Mike Shanahan must have some super sperm to keep creating all these RB's, oh wait, that's right, he still has Travis Henry on the payroll. Either way, Cutler keeps producing excellent results (Henry produces less excellent results) and has two really good WR's to work with (and after Marshall completes his 80 hrs of community service, he will have him full time)

Good-Bye (Undrafted next year)

Brett Favre: Well unless you are in Tony K's or John Maddens league. It is rumored that Brett Favre will play again next year but retire from Fantasy Football, only to unretire when he plays Detroit, Cincinnati, Seattle or St. Louis.

Marc Bulger: I guess it is recommended by 4 out of 5 doctors not to be blindsided at full speed by a defensive lineman or linebacker 49 times a game.

Status Quo (Value Remains the Same):

Phillip Rivers: If Rivers can have a NormTurneramdectomy in the off season his value will rise, along with LDT and Gates. If not, expect him to be snorting coke off a blond on a SD beach a 1/2 hour before game time.

Peyton Manning: His commercials have remained the same, mind-numbingly making you want to jump through the TV and stab a pencil into his skull. But other than that, fantasy wise, he is still good.

RB will be next.