Miami Now Looking At Chelsea Marino to Coach

**All names of children and their occupations/stages of life are made up as i really didn't feel like doing the research to find out the real names, that would take time**

After recently including Mike Shula in their coaching search the Dolphins are now extending invitations to many of the Dolphin family.

Owner H. Wayne Huizenga was overheard saying, "If we can look at the son of our franchise's greatest coach, why limit it to that and why not interview the offspring of some of our great players too?"

It looks like their first target is Dan Marino's 14 year old daughter Chelsea. Huizenga claims "I know she is quite young, but i heard she is great at Calculus and coaching is all about calculating stuff like that, or so i am told." Asked about Saban's skill at calculating, he added "He was very calculating, unfortunately it wasn't for the best of the Dolphin organization and for his own personal gain."

Other candidates, along with Huizenga assessments are:

Mark Duper Jr, Star QB, South Miami High: "He could coach us for a few years and then take over the QB position as we know our Culpepper/Harrington plan isn't working"

Carl Csonka, Investment Banker, NYC: "Obviously we need help money wise due to some pretty insane contracts we have been doling out lately, and he is a big guy and they are usually good coaches, such as Andy Reid and Bill Parcells...hopefully he is not a Denny Green type though, i think he spends more time at the pregame buffet than game-planning"

Zach Thomas, MLB, Miami Dolphins: "Zach was a great player for us, i am sure his son...what...he still plays for us...really?...ok scratch that one"

Carly Taylor, Infant, Miami, FL: "I think Jason's daughter would have been a better coach this year than Saban, and she probably wont know the words - stab your employer in the back - for at least 3 more years"

Sherell Jackson, Ricky Williams "Friend", Location Unknown: "He has access to all of the University of Miami players, so we have an inside edge"

Other candidates will be revealed as he reviews family histories.

Owner of LA Galaxy's Daily Life

After signing David Beckham to a 250 million dollar, 5-year contract, the owner of the LA Galaxy has allowed us to peek into his daily life.

8:00 am: Gets out of bed, lights fireplace with $100 bills as kindling

9:00 am: Goes outside to get the LA Times, sees his neighbor and bets him $100k that the Raiders will make the playoffs.

10:15 am: Goes online and bids $213,843.21 on E-bay for a Gary DiScarcina rookie card

12:30 pm: Pays $625 for a hot dog from a street vendor. Adds another $100 when he realizes that he needs some ketchup.

2:00 pm: Turns on TV and pays for every single movie possible starting at 2pm as he is unsure which one he wants to watch yet.

4:30 pm: Heads out to dinner, orders a 7-course meal for $450, then realizes all he wants is a salad as he is still full from his hot dog

7:00 pm: Heads out to the bar, orders a round for everyone even though he is only having water.

9:00 pm: Pays tab of $5, includes a $1250 tip due to tip calculator error

10:00 pm: Hires the Rolling Stones to perform for him while he does the dishes

10:25 pm: Receives call from Beckham, tells him to call him back collect even though he is just down the street

10:26 pm: Offers to completely sponsor a Spice Girls 70 city reunion tour

11:00 pm: Accidently takes out a bag of cash instead of the trash for pickup in the morning

11:59 pm: Before bed decides to up his bid on the Gary DiScarcina card just in case as the bidding ends in 1 minute

12:01 am: Celebrates his purchase by smoking a $100 bill before bed

Switching Themes

Instead of making this just a fantasy sports blog, we are going to mix it up a little with some sports humor, sports satire, and sports parody mixed in with some fantasy humor, fantasy parody and fantasy satire.