Bracket-Knowledgy

Here is a quick peek at the brackets that were just released for March Madness:

EAST:

Sneak Peek: I guess having a big, whiny, overrated white guy can get you somewhere as UNC takes the #1 seed. I actually think that Hansborough could pull a knife, stab a guy, have sex with his sister and still get the foul called against the other guy.

Best 1st Round Matchup: #7 Butler vs #10 South Alambama. I am not sure of the committee's thinking on matching up two mid-majors. Are they trying to cover themselves by saying at least one will make it to the second round or are they afraid that both of them will make it on their own and thus piss off the network executives?

Huh?: I do admire the committee for matching up Notre Dame and George Mason in the first round. I think on the schedule Notre Dame lists this game as "Uh Oh, we have to play black people"

South:

Sneak Peek: Everyone in the media is taking shots at having Memphis a top seed. Not sure why, as i would think a team that wins every one of their games except losing to a #1 team should be considered one of the best in the country. Of course most of the media weren't able to watch any of Memphis's games as they were giving Coach K a sponge bath.

Best 1st Round Matchup: #3 Stanford vs #14 Cornell. Ivy League of the West versus, well the Ivy League champion. I think this game will come down to a play somehow designed on the periodic table.

Huh?: The Marquette-Kentucky game will feature some famous celebrity alumni. Ashley Judd for Kentucky and Chris Farley for Marquette (Chris has cancelled his appearance due to previous commitments)

WEST:

Sneak Peak: Lets just say that Coach K is a really big fan of W Kentucky and Georgia right now so his program doesn't get exposed as a fraud by getting smoked by Xavier or Drake. I wonder if a face that has had plastic surgery done so many times can actually cry?

Best 1st Round Matchup: #4 UConn vs #13 San Diego. I think U Conn is going to be a little freaked out by people with tans, thus making this game a little closer than it should be.

Huh?: Georgia snuck in the field by winning their major conference tourney and were given the #14 seed. I personally think that is too high, they should have been given the #184th seed.

MIDWEST:

Sneak Peak: Another region where they lumped all the mid-majors into the 7-10 range as so not to upset the major conferences. Ugghhh, why don't you be a little more obvious selection committee.

Best 1st Round Matchup: (a little side note, i am watching ESPN right now and they are all picking the #1 seeds in the final four and they only took 1 #3 seed in the final eight, way to take a chance and provide actual analysis there guys...arrrgghhh) #6 USC vs #11 Kansas State. This is a match up of two of the most hyped freshmen ever. Unfortunately Michael Beasley isn't driving around in a Hummer living in a prepaid mansion while having his private jet worked on like AJ Mayo. He does things the right way, Kansas State wins.

Huh?: Vanderbilt is actually good at a sport? Hmmm, i never knew

Things I Know

This may be a new feature. I just finished watching the NC-Duke game and here are the things i know:

1. Even if both Duke and NC finished 1-24, Dick Vitale would say that they should be ranked in the top ten, should both have a #1 seed in the NCAA tourney and would spout about that Coach K should be coach of the year and here is what he would way to defend that:

"You have to think, these kids are not coming from the top 5% of wealthy families, they are averaging in the 6-8% range, so they had a tough upbringing. Coach K had a tough time this year with their top point guard transferring since he would succumb to his "after hours" in my office fun times rules. Several players were out with hangnails and his top power forward missed eight games because he had to oversee his BMW getting overhauled. THAT'S WHAT I CALL REVVINNG UP BABY!!!!!"

2. Tyler Hansborough is a whiney little bitch. Anytime he is touched or a guy get within 4 feet of him he complains to the officials. Yet he is able to, while 5 players from the other team position themselves for a rebound, crash into them like bowling balls and not get called for a foul, and actually the other team gets called for the foul because of the new "You were standing in Tyler Hansboroughs way and the media loves him but has no idea who you are so you get the foul" rule. I would really love to see them get beat in the first round of March Madness (well actually i root for that every year) just to see how Tyler would react. Would he be afraid to cry so he didn't ruin his makeup for the post game interview, would he just start punching officials or would he start a fight with his teammates saying they didn't pick up the slack for his 2-24 shooting performance. I am getting excited for March Madness.

3. I am also now watching an NBA game. The NBA game doesn't even compare to the college game. There are players pretty much just walking around and letting guys by them for layups/dunks, at most i think i have seen someone jog. I guess when your already making millions of dollars, effort isn't really needed, especially for the people in the stands who are paying my salary. That why i love college basketball, and hate the NBA. I guarantee that the NBA will be the least watched sport in five years. I am not a huge fan of hockey but i will give them credit, they give 100% effort cause they care about winning. In the NBA, not so much, i think i guy will give full effort to improve his stat line when you really needed to make that extra pass to the open guy instead of trying to make a shot from over your head while falling out of bounds.

OK, what i know will return, next will be another commenter manifesto...

My Seattle Plea

With all the stories coming out, i am going to have several posts coming up, from the whiny players to the whiney owner, to the down right despicable NBA and their...ok forget this:

Clay Bennett: You are a scumbag, really, you are. You ask for a 500 million dollar stadium that seats maybe 18,000. Your field of play is maybe the size a decent condo in Phoenix (i would have said Ok City, but there are no condo there). Recently in Seattle they built two stadiums that at the least had 20x the field of play and seat 35,000+ and probably 60,000+ and cost about 50% of your total.

These were people that wanted to keep teams in Seattle, you are not and the fact that you pretend you want to makes you not only a liar but a money seeking wanna be part of the social scene loser. Hey maybe you should go into politics. The fact that even the fans in Ok City dont want this to happen, this way.

I know you and David have had a few slumber parties, but do what is best, keep the team in Seattle.

Red Sox and Their Fans are in Mid-Season Form

A couple quick links that show how the Red Sox and their fans are already in mid-season form:

Somehow this doesn't really surprise me regarding the "great" fans of Red Sox Nation.

Looks like the Red Sox scouts scout talent a little differently than the rest of the league.

Hat Tip: AOL Fanhouse

Who Loves Duke? - Billy Packer Thats Who

Just finished watching the NC State-Duke game and here are my thoughts:

Billy Packer and Coach K are having Sexual Relations:

How else could you explain Billy Packers obsession with Duke and how much he loves them. They can do no wrong in his eyes. Several times during the broadcast he praised Duke after NC State scored. Billy is like a 14 year old school girl with her first crush, "Sure he beats me, has sex with my sister and steals my money, but Coach K is so hot!"

Coach K's Basketball Camp Classes:

Class 1: How to Flop - The Most Important Basketball Skill
Class 2: Whining to the Officials - Even If You Just Tackled A Guy On The Way To The Basket, Its Not A Foul On You, But On Him
Class 3: You Are Superior To Everyone Else on the Planet - How To Treat Everyone You Meet Like A Lesser Human Being
Class 4: I Like Little Bo...I Mean How To Kiss Up To Me - The Benefits of only having One Shower in the Locker Room
Class 5: How To Be A Punk - Guest Speakers Christian Laitner and that Paulus kid
Class 6: How To Flop - You Really Need to know how to do this

The Referees have partied at Coach K's Compound

This is pretty easy as every single time someone comes within a breath of a Duke player a foul is called.

OK, back to the Blog Commenter's series next...