Well the playoffs are here and the Vikings are in which is something I haven't been able to say in a few years, so good times. Here is a quick preview of Round 1:
Miami vs Baltimore: Though i expect all tickets will be sold for this game, there is a 94% chance it won't be a full house in Miami as Ray Lewis has a penchant for killing people when he is in Florida. When the season started, this was the game i wanted in the playoffs, Flacco vs Pennington, a classic match up of...umm...well, NFL Starters. I think there is a better QB battle in Detroit.
Arizona vs Atlanta: Could you imagine this match up if it were Kurt Warner vs Michael Vick. The God-fearing QB vs The QB who doesn't seem to like house pets much. I am guessing God would have taken the Cardinals and the over. Instead it is Warner vs Matt Ryan, who went to Boston College so i am guessing he has killed something in his life, like the chance at a quality education.
San Diego vs Indianapolis: OMG, we have a chance at a Manning vs Manning Super Bowl, how awesome is that!!!! Elisha could meet the Jonas Brothers!!! It's Manning vs Manning!!!! (Sorry, just giving you a preview of the Super Bowl coverage should this happen). Wait, there is another team in this game...who cares it could be Manning vs Manning!!!! Shoot me now.
Minnesota vs Philadelphia: This is the meeting of match ups. Its Peterson vs Westbrook, a RB who cant hang onto the ball vs a RB who needs a walker to get to the ball. Its Jackson vs Jackson, a QB and a WR who both have issues with letting the ball go across the goal line. Its Childress vs his mentor Reid, mustache vs mustache, and somehow Childress survived his time in Philly without Andy Reid eating him, but not this time, in which the Viking fans will cheer.
Monday, December 29, 2008
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Fantasy Football Preview '09 - The WR's
Alright, we are onto the WR's:
Welcome Back to Relevance:
Lee Evans: He has always been up and down but now he kinda has a QB. My worry is that his teammates might not be able to understand him, even if the Bills move to Canada.
Bernard Berrian: He has been able to move from the likes of Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton as his QB to the likes of Tavareus Jackson and Gus Frerotte as his QB. That is like moving from Mediterranean Avenue to Baltic Avenue in the QB Monopoly.
The Young Guns:
Calvin Johnson: A superstar in the making. He is able to still get quality fantasy points even though he plays for the Lions. And he is the first successful guy named Calvin since this guy. Which shows Matt Millen peeing on his teams wins during his reign.
Lance Moore: Has come out of nowhere to post great stats this year and being on the NO offense I see no decline next year, plus he has a great porn name.
Wait Until Next Year:
Kevin Walter: The best white receiver since this white.
Eddie Royal: Has put up an impressive rookie campaign. Next year could be even more impressive as i am sure by opening week the Bronco's will only be down to there 4th RB instead of their 7th which should open things up for Royal.
The New Superstars:
Roddy White: He has put up awesome numbers this year, it is almost like Michael Vick isn't throwing him the ball anymore.
Larry Fitzgerald: His numbers will only increase if he has this QB throwing to him instead of a QB that has to go home to this. Leinhart might be more relaxed and i might prefer Jimmy.
Goodbye:
Ocho Chad Johnson Cinco: He wanted out of Cincy but the Bengals wouldn't oblige him before the year, I am thinking they should have even if the other team offered a half eaten chili dog. Go ahead and name yourself whatever you want but i suggest Largemouth Ass.
Terrell Owens: Hey, way to destroy your 3rd team. Of course none of it is ever your fault. Nope Jason Witten and Tony Romo making a play fort and discussing awesome plays in the sand are the reason you suck at catching passes. Which team do you move to next...the Patriots? Lets hope.
Status Quo:
Andre Johnson: Ho Hum. Catches everything in sight. Gains a bunch of yards. Gets a lot of TD's. Probably the most fearsome Andre since this guy. I would be scared of him if alone in coverage.
Greg Jennings: He was somehow able to survive the death of Brett Favre. To have the season he has had without a QB is sensational.
Next up, the TE, K, Def/ST.
Welcome Back to Relevance:
Lee Evans: He has always been up and down but now he kinda has a QB. My worry is that his teammates might not be able to understand him, even if the Bills move to Canada.
Bernard Berrian: He has been able to move from the likes of Rex Grossman and Kyle Orton as his QB to the likes of Tavareus Jackson and Gus Frerotte as his QB. That is like moving from Mediterranean Avenue to Baltic Avenue in the QB Monopoly.
The Young Guns:
Calvin Johnson: A superstar in the making. He is able to still get quality fantasy points even though he plays for the Lions. And he is the first successful guy named Calvin since this guy. Which shows Matt Millen peeing on his teams wins during his reign.
Lance Moore: Has come out of nowhere to post great stats this year and being on the NO offense I see no decline next year, plus he has a great porn name.
Wait Until Next Year:
Kevin Walter: The best white receiver since this white.
Eddie Royal: Has put up an impressive rookie campaign. Next year could be even more impressive as i am sure by opening week the Bronco's will only be down to there 4th RB instead of their 7th which should open things up for Royal.
The New Superstars:
Roddy White: He has put up awesome numbers this year, it is almost like Michael Vick isn't throwing him the ball anymore.
Larry Fitzgerald: His numbers will only increase if he has this QB throwing to him instead of a QB that has to go home to this. Leinhart might be more relaxed and i might prefer Jimmy.
Goodbye:
Ocho Chad Johnson Cinco: He wanted out of Cincy but the Bengals wouldn't oblige him before the year, I am thinking they should have even if the other team offered a half eaten chili dog. Go ahead and name yourself whatever you want but i suggest Largemouth Ass.
Terrell Owens: Hey, way to destroy your 3rd team. Of course none of it is ever your fault. Nope Jason Witten and Tony Romo making a play fort and discussing awesome plays in the sand are the reason you suck at catching passes. Which team do you move to next...the Patriots? Lets hope.
Status Quo:
Andre Johnson: Ho Hum. Catches everything in sight. Gains a bunch of yards. Gets a lot of TD's. Probably the most fearsome Andre since this guy. I would be scared of him if alone in coverage.
Greg Jennings: He was somehow able to survive the death of Brett Favre. To have the season he has had without a QB is sensational.
Next up, the TE, K, Def/ST.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Fantasy Football Preview '09 - The RB's
Alright, here is the 2nd installment previewing next years Fantasy Football. I present the RB's.
Welcome Back to Relevance:
Thomas Jones: He has been a bust in Arizona and a bust in Chicago. Now with the NY Jets he is a star. My only guess as to why he is successful in NY is that the defensive players are so excited to get an interception from Brett Favre that they forget about the running game.
Ronnie Brown: He can run, he can pass, he can catch, he's a Wildcat. My guess to his new found success is that he has access to Ricky Williams stash and then after that he has access to Bill Parcells fridge.
The Young Guns:
Adrian Peterson: Yes he is already a superstar, but you have to remember he is only a 2nd year player, so he is a young gun. If you can have the stats that he has with the names Tavarus Jackson, Brooks Bollinger, Gus Ferotte and Kelly Holcomb involved, that means he is something special. Also, Cato June is so irrelevant and such a punk that this is the only way he can get his name in the paper. What a d-bag.
Steve Slaton: If Houston had realized earlier in the year that maybe giving Slaton the ball over the ancient Ahman Green, they might be fighting for a playoff spot. He was also somehow able to fill the shoes of the legendary Kay-Jay Harris at WVU and that is saying something.
Wait Until Next Year:
Matt Forte: In his first year with the Bears, he has provided them with a running game, something they haven't had since William Perry roamed Soldier Field and stole hot dogs from kids in the stands. He also has quite the website. They must be really bored at Tulane to create that.
DeAngelo Williams: He is finally coming into his own after years of sharing the spotlight, well maybe not a spotlight, more like a flashlight. Kinda like those little ones you put on your key chain. If he can somehow avoid Steve Smith punching him in the face, he could be a superstar but that is not likely as Smith averages punching a teammate every 4.8 minutes during practice.
The New Superstars:
Michael Turner: In a recent poll of PETA members asking who their favorite Michael who played for the Atlanta Falcons was, the vote ended up 452-1 in favor of Turner over Vick. The one vote for Vick was by the only straight member of PETA, and she thought Vick was kinda cute.
Chris Johnson: He has exploded on the scene in Tennessee this year which caused Titan QB Kerry Collins to yell "Hey, you kids keep it down, I am trying to watch Matlock here". He is also much cooler than this Chris Johnson who maybe needs to get out more.
Goodbye (in this case will be drafted but a lot further down)
LDT: Tomlinson might fall from the 1st overall pick to the 3rd round after this season. Since he is from Waco, TX, it might have been wise to drink the kool-aid instead of playing for Norv Turner.
Joseph Addai: Seriously, he needs to go with Joe, not Joseph. There are many famous Joe's, like Joe Montana, Mean Joe Greene and Joe Horn (OK, i am stretching with that last one) but the only famous Joseph is this and he may want to distance himself from that.
Status Quo (Value Remains the Same)
Brian Westbrook: Even with a broken leg, shattered pelvis, torn ACL, separated shoulder, concussion and playing with the stench of Donovan McNabb's puke on his jersey, he still puts up numbers. He is still a top 3 RB.
Stephen Jackson: Even playing in St Louis and dealing with this on a daily basis he continues to produce but one wonders if he could make a better living doing something else.
Next up WR's
Welcome Back to Relevance:
Thomas Jones: He has been a bust in Arizona and a bust in Chicago. Now with the NY Jets he is a star. My only guess as to why he is successful in NY is that the defensive players are so excited to get an interception from Brett Favre that they forget about the running game.
Ronnie Brown: He can run, he can pass, he can catch, he's a Wildcat. My guess to his new found success is that he has access to Ricky Williams stash and then after that he has access to Bill Parcells fridge.
The Young Guns:
Adrian Peterson: Yes he is already a superstar, but you have to remember he is only a 2nd year player, so he is a young gun. If you can have the stats that he has with the names Tavarus Jackson, Brooks Bollinger, Gus Ferotte and Kelly Holcomb involved, that means he is something special. Also, Cato June is so irrelevant and such a punk that this is the only way he can get his name in the paper. What a d-bag.
Steve Slaton: If Houston had realized earlier in the year that maybe giving Slaton the ball over the ancient Ahman Green, they might be fighting for a playoff spot. He was also somehow able to fill the shoes of the legendary Kay-Jay Harris at WVU and that is saying something.
Wait Until Next Year:
Matt Forte: In his first year with the Bears, he has provided them with a running game, something they haven't had since William Perry roamed Soldier Field and stole hot dogs from kids in the stands. He also has quite the website. They must be really bored at Tulane to create that.
DeAngelo Williams: He is finally coming into his own after years of sharing the spotlight, well maybe not a spotlight, more like a flashlight. Kinda like those little ones you put on your key chain. If he can somehow avoid Steve Smith punching him in the face, he could be a superstar but that is not likely as Smith averages punching a teammate every 4.8 minutes during practice.
The New Superstars:
Michael Turner: In a recent poll of PETA members asking who their favorite Michael who played for the Atlanta Falcons was, the vote ended up 452-1 in favor of Turner over Vick. The one vote for Vick was by the only straight member of PETA, and she thought Vick was kinda cute.
Chris Johnson: He has exploded on the scene in Tennessee this year which caused Titan QB Kerry Collins to yell "Hey, you kids keep it down, I am trying to watch Matlock here". He is also much cooler than this Chris Johnson who maybe needs to get out more.
Goodbye (in this case will be drafted but a lot further down)
LDT: Tomlinson might fall from the 1st overall pick to the 3rd round after this season. Since he is from Waco, TX, it might have been wise to drink the kool-aid instead of playing for Norv Turner.
Joseph Addai: Seriously, he needs to go with Joe, not Joseph. There are many famous Joe's, like Joe Montana, Mean Joe Greene and Joe Horn (OK, i am stretching with that last one) but the only famous Joseph is this and he may want to distance himself from that.
Status Quo (Value Remains the Same)
Brian Westbrook: Even with a broken leg, shattered pelvis, torn ACL, separated shoulder, concussion and playing with the stench of Donovan McNabb's puke on his jersey, he still puts up numbers. He is still a top 3 RB.
Stephen Jackson: Even playing in St Louis and dealing with this on a daily basis he continues to produce but one wonders if he could make a better living doing something else.
Next up WR's
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Fantasy Football Preview '09 - The QB's
Since this was originally a fantasy sports humor site, it might be wise to post some fantasy related content (or looking at my last few months, any content). I have migrated more towards the actual sports scene, or as i perceive it. But here for your enjoyment is the start of a extremely early preview of fantasy football '09. We will start with the QB's and each group will be broken into 6 categories based on their '08 performances:
Welcome Back to Relevence:
Kurt Warner: He has done the most with the fewest weapons to bring himself back. It seems he put all of his chips in with God on two incredible WR's. I personally would have have maybe selected 1 great WR and a wife that doesn't look like an uncle, or at least a RB.
Donovan McNabb: He has underperformed since his first bowl of Chunky Soup that he couldn't finish, saying "Mom, I am going to puke, kinda like if i was in a huddle in the 4th quarter". But now he has Brian Westbrook and his Scooter to lead the way and he has had a pretty good season. The Philly fans will still lob insults at him and his top WR will continue to forget where the goal line is, but he isn't a bust anymore.
The Young Guns:
Aaron Rodgers: In his first year (he's not Brett Favre) he has done very well (but he's not Brett Favre) and accumulated some nice fantasy points (but not like Brett Favre) for his owners this year (but not like Brett Favre) and leading fantasy teams to the playoffs (unlike Brett Favre, i mean like Brett Favre). The only difference that matters fantasy wise between him and Brett is that Aaron has scored about 50 more points fantasy wise.
Matt Ryan: See Patriot fans what you can do if your from Boston and don't feel disrespected 99% of the time. For him to turn the Vick 'situation' around in one season and become a valuable fantasy starter is nothing short of amazing. I think the last Falcon QB to complete more than 50% of his passes was Steve Bartkowski.
Wait Until Next Year:
Tyler Thigpen: Who would have thunk. If the Vikings didn't have such legendary QB's last year like Tavarus Jackson, Kelly Holcomb and Brooks Bollinger, KC wouldn't have been able to grab him off our practice squad. And the fact that he is doing all this without an offensive line makes me want to punch Brad Childress in the, well i have already wanted to punch him in every imaginable spot, so i guess we start over with the larynx.
Matt Cassell: The only thing that scares me is the huge eyes and head and that he looks like an alien. Wait, that is Sam Cassell. Matt Cassell didn't even play in college. And the Patriot offense isn't the system, sorry you Brady lovers, you put him on Cleveland...wait, there is already one Brady there trying to hide his sexuality.
The New Super Stars:
Drew Brees: Weapons abound. Accuracy better than few others. Thing on his face like no others. My favorite thing about Brees is that he looks like he is trying to completely ignore that tool Shockey who is not good. He will be one of the top 3 QB's in your draft next year.
Jay Cutler: Mike Shanahan must have some super sperm to keep creating all these RB's, oh wait, that's right, he still has Travis Henry on the payroll. Either way, Cutler keeps producing excellent results (Henry produces less excellent results) and has two really good WR's to work with (and after Marshall completes his 80 hrs of community service, he will have him full time)
Good-Bye (Undrafted next year)
Brett Favre: Well unless you are in Tony K's or John Maddens league. It is rumored that Brett Favre will play again next year but retire from Fantasy Football, only to unretire when he plays Detroit, Cincinnati, Seattle or St. Louis.
Marc Bulger: I guess it is recommended by 4 out of 5 doctors not to be blindsided at full speed by a defensive lineman or linebacker 49 times a game.
Status Quo (Value Remains the Same):
Phillip Rivers: If Rivers can have a NormTurneramdectomy in the off season his value will rise, along with LDT and Gates. If not, expect him to be snorting coke off a blond on a SD beach a 1/2 hour before game time.
Peyton Manning: His commercials have remained the same, mind-numbingly making you want to jump through the TV and stab a pencil into his skull. But other than that, fantasy wise, he is still good.
RB will be next.
Welcome Back to Relevence:
Kurt Warner: He has done the most with the fewest weapons to bring himself back. It seems he put all of his chips in with God on two incredible WR's. I personally would have have maybe selected 1 great WR and a wife that doesn't look like an uncle, or at least a RB.
Donovan McNabb: He has underperformed since his first bowl of Chunky Soup that he couldn't finish, saying "Mom, I am going to puke, kinda like if i was in a huddle in the 4th quarter". But now he has Brian Westbrook and his Scooter to lead the way and he has had a pretty good season. The Philly fans will still lob insults at him and his top WR will continue to forget where the goal line is, but he isn't a bust anymore.
The Young Guns:
Aaron Rodgers: In his first year (he's not Brett Favre) he has done very well (but he's not Brett Favre) and accumulated some nice fantasy points (but not like Brett Favre) for his owners this year (but not like Brett Favre) and leading fantasy teams to the playoffs (unlike Brett Favre, i mean like Brett Favre). The only difference that matters fantasy wise between him and Brett is that Aaron has scored about 50 more points fantasy wise.
Matt Ryan: See Patriot fans what you can do if your from Boston and don't feel disrespected 99% of the time. For him to turn the Vick 'situation' around in one season and become a valuable fantasy starter is nothing short of amazing. I think the last Falcon QB to complete more than 50% of his passes was Steve Bartkowski.
Wait Until Next Year:
Tyler Thigpen: Who would have thunk. If the Vikings didn't have such legendary QB's last year like Tavarus Jackson, Kelly Holcomb and Brooks Bollinger, KC wouldn't have been able to grab him off our practice squad. And the fact that he is doing all this without an offensive line makes me want to punch Brad Childress in the, well i have already wanted to punch him in every imaginable spot, so i guess we start over with the larynx.
Matt Cassell: The only thing that scares me is the huge eyes and head and that he looks like an alien. Wait, that is Sam Cassell. Matt Cassell didn't even play in college. And the Patriot offense isn't the system, sorry you Brady lovers, you put him on Cleveland...wait, there is already one Brady there trying to hide his sexuality.
The New Super Stars:
Drew Brees: Weapons abound. Accuracy better than few others. Thing on his face like no others. My favorite thing about Brees is that he looks like he is trying to completely ignore that tool Shockey who is not good. He will be one of the top 3 QB's in your draft next year.
Jay Cutler: Mike Shanahan must have some super sperm to keep creating all these RB's, oh wait, that's right, he still has Travis Henry on the payroll. Either way, Cutler keeps producing excellent results (Henry produces less excellent results) and has two really good WR's to work with (and after Marshall completes his 80 hrs of community service, he will have him full time)
Good-Bye (Undrafted next year)
Brett Favre: Well unless you are in Tony K's or John Maddens league. It is rumored that Brett Favre will play again next year but retire from Fantasy Football, only to unretire when he plays Detroit, Cincinnati, Seattle or St. Louis.
Marc Bulger: I guess it is recommended by 4 out of 5 doctors not to be blindsided at full speed by a defensive lineman or linebacker 49 times a game.
Status Quo (Value Remains the Same):
Phillip Rivers: If Rivers can have a NormTurneramdectomy in the off season his value will rise, along with LDT and Gates. If not, expect him to be snorting coke off a blond on a SD beach a 1/2 hour before game time.
Peyton Manning: His commercials have remained the same, mind-numbingly making you want to jump through the TV and stab a pencil into his skull. But other than that, fantasy wise, he is still good.
RB will be next.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
2008 NFL Rule Changes
After watching 13 weeks of NFL action, it has become clear to me that Roger Goodell and his boys have made some changes to the league rules. Here is what i have found out so far:
Tackling: You will be penalized if you lead with your head, arms, legs, chest or any other area of the body. If you try to tackle someone with the intention of hitting them hard, you will be penalized. So basically, if you try to tackle someone by any other means than walking up to them, hugging them, and talking them into taking a knee, it will be a 15 yd penalty.
NFC South: The NFL will not show any games of the NFC South. Even though it is the best division in the league and the most competitive, they need to shove the NFC East down the viewers throat and claim that this is the best division, basically because all the teams are in a major market, even though 3 out of the 4 teams kinda suck. I blame Terry Bradshaw for this, not sure why, maybe because he is bald and bald people like the east coast, just look at New Jersey.
Brett Favre: It was mandated by Roger Goodell that during every broadcast the announcers must mention at least 10 times, "What would this team be like if Brett Favre were on it". For example, lets say there was a game between Atlanta and whoever. The announcer would go after Matt Ryan threw an incomplete pass, "You have to wonder what this team would be like with Brett Favre". My response if i were the announcing partner, "Yeah, that would have been intercepted instead of incomplete". This is probably Tony K's fault since he probably thought before the season it would have been wise for NE to sign Favre as a backup just so he could have his ultimate fantasy threesome.
Al Davis: They determined that they needed to have him have a press conference so the fans knew he was still alive (somewhat) and that we can definitely be sure that he clinically insane. This was actually a good decision by the NFL. That press conference was almost like they picked a homeless guy of the street, threw a Raider jacket on him, told him Lane Kiffin stole his grocery cart of cans and dead cats and let him speak for a half an hour.
Tackling: You will be penalized if you lead with your head, arms, legs, chest or any other area of the body. If you try to tackle someone with the intention of hitting them hard, you will be penalized. So basically, if you try to tackle someone by any other means than walking up to them, hugging them, and talking them into taking a knee, it will be a 15 yd penalty.
NFC South: The NFL will not show any games of the NFC South. Even though it is the best division in the league and the most competitive, they need to shove the NFC East down the viewers throat and claim that this is the best division, basically because all the teams are in a major market, even though 3 out of the 4 teams kinda suck. I blame Terry Bradshaw for this, not sure why, maybe because he is bald and bald people like the east coast, just look at New Jersey.
Brett Favre: It was mandated by Roger Goodell that during every broadcast the announcers must mention at least 10 times, "What would this team be like if Brett Favre were on it". For example, lets say there was a game between Atlanta and whoever. The announcer would go after Matt Ryan threw an incomplete pass, "You have to wonder what this team would be like with Brett Favre". My response if i were the announcing partner, "Yeah, that would have been intercepted instead of incomplete". This is probably Tony K's fault since he probably thought before the season it would have been wise for NE to sign Favre as a backup just so he could have his ultimate fantasy threesome.
Al Davis: They determined that they needed to have him have a press conference so the fans knew he was still alive (somewhat) and that we can definitely be sure that he clinically insane. This was actually a good decision by the NFL. That press conference was almost like they picked a homeless guy of the street, threw a Raider jacket on him, told him Lane Kiffin stole his grocery cart of cans and dead cats and let him speak for a half an hour.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Site Update
I kinda thought to myself in September that if someone made a comment on my stuff i would be more inclined to continue. Well it happened. It seems this week that some drunk chick made a comment on one of my Fantasy Baseball entries...from 2007 saying that "This is good information to know"
A couple of comments on that.
1. This is a sports humor website, so i wouldn't necessarily make my fantasy projections on what i say.
2. I definately wouldnt make my fantasy decisions for this year based on what i posted in 2007.
Anyways, we are back on a mini-launch of this. I am only promising weekend posts right now.
A couple of comments on that.
1. This is a sports humor website, so i wouldn't necessarily make my fantasy projections on what i say.
2. I definately wouldnt make my fantasy decisions for this year based on what i posted in 2007.
Anyways, we are back on a mini-launch of this. I am only promising weekend posts right now.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Ryder Cup Predictions
The singles matches have been announced and here is what i see happening:
Anthony Kim vs Sergio Garcia: Kim has inspired Mickelson too actually show some emotion, (along with some boob juggling). I think he will inspire Sergio to look at his new belt buckle that says "No Majors Yet Pretty Boy". Kim wins 3 and 2
Hunter Mahan vs Paul Casey: Hunter has been on fire the first two days, unfortunately that has led to him hitting the bar and banging the local 7 teeth gutter sluts and that will catch up with him today (as well as in 9 months). Casey wins 2 and 1
Justin Leonard vs Robert Karlsson: Justin and Robert both sit down on the 8th hole to play Dungeons and Dragons and the match is halved.
Phil Mickelson vs Justin Rose: Rose is distracted enough by Mickelson's D-Cups that Phil is able to pull out a 1-Up win.
Kenny Perry vs Henrick Stenson: My guess is that these guys have nothing in common. (Yeah, huge stretch there). My guess as there first conversation starter is Stenson going "Oh, you have golf clubs too?" Kenny and the home crowd 2 and 1.
Boo Weekley vs Oliver Wilson: Oliver passes out on the 4th hole after Weekley gives him a giant wad of Chew. Weekley 9 and 8.
JB Holmes vs Soren Hansen: A few of JB drives end up in Ohio so Soren sneaks by with a 4 and 2 win.
Jim Furyk vs Miguel Angel Jimenez: Furyk halves 18 to force a tie due to Jimenez trying to putt with his cigar.
Stewart Cink vs Graeme McDowell: Umm, Ok, these are actual golfers, yeah right. Halved.
Steve Stricker vs Ian Poulter: Ian is the controversial Captains pick but has been playing well both on and off the field. Steve Stricker only wants Ian to get off his lawn. Ian 2 and 1
Ben Curtis vs Lee Westwood: I say this one might be Dormie by the 2nd hole. Westwood 9 and 8.
Chad Campbell vs Padraig Harrington: Padriag realizes this isn't a Major and Chad sneaks up on him for a 1-up win.
I think by my calculations that USA would win, but i am not going to go back and verify that.
Anthony Kim vs Sergio Garcia: Kim has inspired Mickelson too actually show some emotion, (along with some boob juggling). I think he will inspire Sergio to look at his new belt buckle that says "No Majors Yet Pretty Boy". Kim wins 3 and 2
Hunter Mahan vs Paul Casey: Hunter has been on fire the first two days, unfortunately that has led to him hitting the bar and banging the local 7 teeth gutter sluts and that will catch up with him today (as well as in 9 months). Casey wins 2 and 1
Justin Leonard vs Robert Karlsson: Justin and Robert both sit down on the 8th hole to play Dungeons and Dragons and the match is halved.
Phil Mickelson vs Justin Rose: Rose is distracted enough by Mickelson's D-Cups that Phil is able to pull out a 1-Up win.
Kenny Perry vs Henrick Stenson: My guess is that these guys have nothing in common. (Yeah, huge stretch there). My guess as there first conversation starter is Stenson going "Oh, you have golf clubs too?" Kenny and the home crowd 2 and 1.
Boo Weekley vs Oliver Wilson: Oliver passes out on the 4th hole after Weekley gives him a giant wad of Chew. Weekley 9 and 8.
JB Holmes vs Soren Hansen: A few of JB drives end up in Ohio so Soren sneaks by with a 4 and 2 win.
Jim Furyk vs Miguel Angel Jimenez: Furyk halves 18 to force a tie due to Jimenez trying to putt with his cigar.
Stewart Cink vs Graeme McDowell: Umm, Ok, these are actual golfers, yeah right. Halved.
Steve Stricker vs Ian Poulter: Ian is the controversial Captains pick but has been playing well both on and off the field. Steve Stricker only wants Ian to get off his lawn. Ian 2 and 1
Ben Curtis vs Lee Westwood: I say this one might be Dormie by the 2nd hole. Westwood 9 and 8.
Chad Campbell vs Padraig Harrington: Padriag realizes this isn't a Major and Chad sneaks up on him for a 1-up win.
I think by my calculations that USA would win, but i am not going to go back and verify that.
Friday, September 19, 2008
NFL Week 3 - The Predictions
I have looked into my Crystal (well actually Cristal) Ball and here is what is going to happen this weekend:
Kansas City at Atlanta: A couple of predictions for this one. This is a CBS game so i am pretty sure they are bringing out the announcing team of Andy Rooney and Bill from the local 7/11. The #2 receiver for the Falcons has 1 catch this year, let the Matt Ryan era begin.
Oakland at Buffalo: In our second match up of QB's that will certainly be in the Hall of Fame (at your local WalMart), Buffalo is off to a hot start. You could say that Oakland is also off to a Hot start with 1 win and all, but it is just Al Davis having Hot Flashes.
Tampa Bay at Chicago: In a match up of former NFC North foes, Chicago is extremely excited about 1 stat this year: Kyle Orton - 0 Interceptions. But he also has 0 TD's so that leads me to believe that he has yet to throw a pass, that is the only explanation.
Carolina at Minnesota: The good news for Viking fans is that they have finally benched QB Jackson, even if it is about 20 years too late, it is still a good sign. The bad news is that Steve Smith returns and since a MN DB will be covering him, he will probably punch him in the face.
Miami at New England: I am pretty sure (not positive though) that CBS has received the news that Tom Brady is out for the year, but that wont stop their pregame show from mentioning his name a record 341 times, breaking the previous record of 339 times for Brett Favre the first week of this season.
Cincinnati at NYG: Eli Manning finally gets his dream of hanging out with prisoners, and I think he is going to like it.
Houston at Tennessee: Houston got their bye week already due to Hurricane Ike where search and rescue missions are still going on, much like the Titans are with Vince Young.
Arizona at Washington: Arizona is 2-0. Lets just think about that for a moment............Now picture Kurt Warner's wife/husband...that was fun.
Detroit at SF: Remember back in the 80's and early 90's when SF was winning all those Super Bowls and Detroit had, well, still had all that crime. Good Times.
St Louis at Seattle: At this point, if you are the owner of the Rams, do you just make them take the bus? And i don't mean a chartered bus, more like on Thursday the coach goes "OK guys, find your way to Seattle and we will see you on Saturday"
New Orleans at Denver: This game would be so much more fun if it were in NO, well with Brandon Marshall currently able to make the trip since he isn't suspended last time i checked.
Pittsburgh at Philadelphia: My guess is this game will turn in the Steelers favor when their defense scores a TD after DeSean Jackson celebrates a 6 yard catch before being tackled and then the Steelers will win after Jackson celebrates running his first reverse by dropping to his knee's as the ball is being pitched to him and pretending to fire off some 6-shooters to signify the 6 points the Steelers score on the fumble recovery.
Jacksonville at Indianapolis: I was going to comment on this match up but we need to pause for a Peyton Manning Commercial
Cleveland at Baltimore: I think this is the game that Cleveland finally breaks out of its offensive slump. They have to be inspired by the 50th straight day that Brady Quinn has went to see Mamma Mia.
Dallas at Green Bay: I recommend you watch the game on TV but listen to the broadcast via another source and John Madden will probably be openly sobbing during the whole broadcast while stuffing himself with a 4 gallon tub of Brett Favrelicious Ice Cream from Ben and Jerry's.
NYJ at SD: Speaking of Brett Favre, umm, i don't know, every story that could be told about him has been written 83 times with different views, so lets take a chance and say he killed a drifter cause he wouldn't run the precise route between the dead guy and the inflamed garbage can. (Vegas Odds: 6-1)
Peace Out
Kansas City at Atlanta: A couple of predictions for this one. This is a CBS game so i am pretty sure they are bringing out the announcing team of Andy Rooney and Bill from the local 7/11. The #2 receiver for the Falcons has 1 catch this year, let the Matt Ryan era begin.
Oakland at Buffalo: In our second match up of QB's that will certainly be in the Hall of Fame (at your local WalMart), Buffalo is off to a hot start. You could say that Oakland is also off to a Hot start with 1 win and all, but it is just Al Davis having Hot Flashes.
Tampa Bay at Chicago: In a match up of former NFC North foes, Chicago is extremely excited about 1 stat this year: Kyle Orton - 0 Interceptions. But he also has 0 TD's so that leads me to believe that he has yet to throw a pass, that is the only explanation.
Carolina at Minnesota: The good news for Viking fans is that they have finally benched QB Jackson, even if it is about 20 years too late, it is still a good sign. The bad news is that Steve Smith returns and since a MN DB will be covering him, he will probably punch him in the face.
Miami at New England: I am pretty sure (not positive though) that CBS has received the news that Tom Brady is out for the year, but that wont stop their pregame show from mentioning his name a record 341 times, breaking the previous record of 339 times for Brett Favre the first week of this season.
Cincinnati at NYG: Eli Manning finally gets his dream of hanging out with prisoners, and I think he is going to like it.
Houston at Tennessee: Houston got their bye week already due to Hurricane Ike where search and rescue missions are still going on, much like the Titans are with Vince Young.
Arizona at Washington: Arizona is 2-0. Lets just think about that for a moment............Now picture Kurt Warner's wife/husband...that was fun.
Detroit at SF: Remember back in the 80's and early 90's when SF was winning all those Super Bowls and Detroit had, well, still had all that crime. Good Times.
St Louis at Seattle: At this point, if you are the owner of the Rams, do you just make them take the bus? And i don't mean a chartered bus, more like on Thursday the coach goes "OK guys, find your way to Seattle and we will see you on Saturday"
New Orleans at Denver: This game would be so much more fun if it were in NO, well with Brandon Marshall currently able to make the trip since he isn't suspended last time i checked.
Pittsburgh at Philadelphia: My guess is this game will turn in the Steelers favor when their defense scores a TD after DeSean Jackson celebrates a 6 yard catch before being tackled and then the Steelers will win after Jackson celebrates running his first reverse by dropping to his knee's as the ball is being pitched to him and pretending to fire off some 6-shooters to signify the 6 points the Steelers score on the fumble recovery.
Jacksonville at Indianapolis: I was going to comment on this match up but we need to pause for a Peyton Manning Commercial
Cleveland at Baltimore: I think this is the game that Cleveland finally breaks out of its offensive slump. They have to be inspired by the 50th straight day that Brady Quinn has went to see Mamma Mia.
Dallas at Green Bay: I recommend you watch the game on TV but listen to the broadcast via another source and John Madden will probably be openly sobbing during the whole broadcast while stuffing himself with a 4 gallon tub of Brett Favrelicious Ice Cream from Ben and Jerry's.
NYJ at SD: Speaking of Brett Favre, umm, i don't know, every story that could be told about him has been written 83 times with different views, so lets take a chance and say he killed a drifter cause he wouldn't run the precise route between the dead guy and the inflamed garbage can. (Vegas Odds: 6-1)
Peace Out
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Olympic Update
Alright, no more claiming when i might post again, you should have learned by now. But i do have some ideas for the future, not that you heard it from me.
Just a note. It is 2:26 on a Saturday morning and they have Race Walking on. Seriously, they are going to get rid of Baseball and Softball as Olympic Sports but keep this?? How do you pass someone in this sport? Do you think to yourself "Oh, I need to walk gayer". Well, I guess they thought they should keep this so Canada could get a medal.
Just a note. It is 2:26 on a Saturday morning and they have Race Walking on. Seriously, they are going to get rid of Baseball and Softball as Olympic Sports but keep this?? How do you pass someone in this sport? Do you think to yourself "Oh, I need to walk gayer". Well, I guess they thought they should keep this so Canada could get a medal.
Monday, August 4, 2008
I'm Back
After a little hiatus, i will be back tomorrow writing on several subjects such as the Brett "Diva" Favre situation, fantasy football, baseball, girl on girl action...ok that last one was just to see if you were paying attention.
See ya tomorrow...
See ya tomorrow...
Friday, June 27, 2008
Ed Wade Didnt take Speech Class
Ed Wade is the GM for the Houston Astros. He happened to get in an argument with a pitcher who rightfully so got demoted to the bullpen and just so happened to get thrown down by the neck to the floor by said player.
I have heard Chacon's side of the story (the pitcher in question) and i am pretty sure when he says he remained calm, he didn't. There have been reports of player misconduct by him almost as many times as guys rewind to see Phoebe Cates boobs during a viewing of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. I think his story is BS. He was a little baby about being sent to the pen.
Now we have to state that he deserved to go to the pen. Well, if pen meant little league ball. He has been horrible this year and the fact that he feels a sense of entitlement means maybe he wouldn't be the most stable person to confront.
But onto Ed Wade's response. I saw his press conference and he was reading it off cards. Obviously he didn't take Speech 101. His eyes were glued on those cards like they were pictures of former Astro's Nolan Ryan and Craig Biggio naked. Now maybe this is just me, but if i was choked and thrown to the ground by someone, I wouldn't need note cards to explain what happened. Why the hell would he need to read what happened to him??? Didn't it actually happen to him? My guess is that the lawyers and team told him what to say, so it is pretty much BS. Not that i believe Chacon, i believe Wade more, but why would you have to read something that happened to you???
Either way Chacon ends up on the Yankees or Red Sox.
I have heard Chacon's side of the story (the pitcher in question) and i am pretty sure when he says he remained calm, he didn't. There have been reports of player misconduct by him almost as many times as guys rewind to see Phoebe Cates boobs during a viewing of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. I think his story is BS. He was a little baby about being sent to the pen.
Now we have to state that he deserved to go to the pen. Well, if pen meant little league ball. He has been horrible this year and the fact that he feels a sense of entitlement means maybe he wouldn't be the most stable person to confront.
But onto Ed Wade's response. I saw his press conference and he was reading it off cards. Obviously he didn't take Speech 101. His eyes were glued on those cards like they were pictures of former Astro's Nolan Ryan and Craig Biggio naked. Now maybe this is just me, but if i was choked and thrown to the ground by someone, I wouldn't need note cards to explain what happened. Why the hell would he need to read what happened to him??? Didn't it actually happen to him? My guess is that the lawyers and team told him what to say, so it is pretty much BS. Not that i believe Chacon, i believe Wade more, but why would you have to read something that happened to you???
Either way Chacon ends up on the Yankees or Red Sox.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
The Break Is Over
Ok, I have been on a hiatus for about a month and now am refreshed and ready to start writing again...will be back this week with some new stuff...and maybe the first will be in the new Hindu script that they are offering, as i know i am huge in Hindu...ummm..Hindunasia???
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
49 States To Up There Police Force
It has been learned that Chris Henry has been granted the right to leave Ohio to visit other teams while he awaits trial. And he says "willing to visit whoever is interested". Well, of course he is, he is under freaking house arrest. If i was under house arrest i would be trying out for every team possible too. I would try out for any town team, Arena football team, or even a woman's professional team. Heck i might even try out for the Raiders, OK maybe i wouldn't go that far.
I would also convince Goodell that the CFL was interested in me, Canada is nice this time of year. Isn't it time Chris to expand your crimes globally? You are starting to repeat some of your crimes and you know what that means, the cops will catch up with you. They really wouldn't suspect you if someone bludgeoned a Canadian Mountie to death with a slab of Canadian Bacon. You would be clear and free.
Heck, you could even go as far as convincing the commish that you have a tryout with Manchester United, a British Futbol team, just tell him they spell it different. Imagine the damage you could do after several bong hits trying to drive on the wrong side of the car and road? Then try out for the French national Futbol team, heck you could cross the border and they would give you half of Paris. You could run a crime ring in France. Of course i am not sure what kind of crimes they commit in France, but i am sure it involves a baguette. Either way, you could be a crime lord.
You have a tremendous opportunity here Chris, please don't let us down.
I would also convince Goodell that the CFL was interested in me, Canada is nice this time of year. Isn't it time Chris to expand your crimes globally? You are starting to repeat some of your crimes and you know what that means, the cops will catch up with you. They really wouldn't suspect you if someone bludgeoned a Canadian Mountie to death with a slab of Canadian Bacon. You would be clear and free.
Heck, you could even go as far as convincing the commish that you have a tryout with Manchester United, a British Futbol team, just tell him they spell it different. Imagine the damage you could do after several bong hits trying to drive on the wrong side of the car and road? Then try out for the French national Futbol team, heck you could cross the border and they would give you half of Paris. You could run a crime ring in France. Of course i am not sure what kind of crimes they commit in France, but i am sure it involves a baguette. Either way, you could be a crime lord.
You have a tremendous opportunity here Chris, please don't let us down.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Masters Final Round Tee Times
I am going to take a quick look at the tee times for the final round and make one comment for the ones that interest me:
10:35 - Sandy Lyle: If i were him, I would take as much time as possible, nobody's going to be watching anyways, eat a sandwich in the fairway, work on your tan or grab the Sunday paper and work your magic in the Porta-Potty.
11:05 - Niclas Fasth & Todd Hamilton: Do you think Todd is going, "Wow, I haven't made a cut since i won my major and not only do i get to play in the Masters but i get to play with the legend Nick Faldo"
11:15 - Johnson Wagner & Justin Rose: It has been widely reported about Wagner qualifying last week. If i were him, since i am out of contention, i would just grab one club, keep on walking until you reach your ball, take a one handed swing and move on. Your 198 will be talked about forever.
11:35 - Bubba Watson & Richard Sterne: Bubba gets disqualified with the new drug testing for chewing tobacco before the round.
11:55 - Stuart Appleby & Justin Leonard: This is the "Guys who never got laid in high school" pairing.
12:25 - Jeev Milkha Singh & Nick Watney: These two i am pretty sure don't have to worry about camera's during there swings as they play no one watching except two groupies who got kicked out of the Appleby-Leonard group.
1:15 - Phil Mickelson & Vijay Singh: I think Phil should just take off his shirt and thus ruining any chance for Vijay as he becomes fixated on his man boobs.
1:25 - Retief Goosen & Iam Poulter: My hope is that Ian breaks out is Tiara & Tutu Sunday outfit.
1:55 - Zach Johnson & Boo Weekley: The defending champion quits after his fifth attempt to try to explain to Boo the difference between the number 5 & 6.
2:05 - Tiger Woods & Stewart Cink: The main question here is will Tiger be able to deal with Cink's massive gallery.
2:15 - Steve Flesch & Paul Casey: Had to mention them as a groundskeeper might be following them.
2:25 - Brandt Snedecker & Trevor Immelman: Trevor has a chance to be the first to go all 60's round since, well i don't know since i didn't do the research. But we have to root for Brandt so next year the Champions dinner might be "Whatever you can catch with your bare hands out of the ocean."
Masters Prediction: Tiger makes a run, to the Porto-Pottys and Snedecker is the winner.
10:35 - Sandy Lyle: If i were him, I would take as much time as possible, nobody's going to be watching anyways, eat a sandwich in the fairway, work on your tan or grab the Sunday paper and work your magic in the Porta-Potty.
11:05 - Niclas Fasth & Todd Hamilton: Do you think Todd is going, "Wow, I haven't made a cut since i won my major and not only do i get to play in the Masters but i get to play with the legend Nick Faldo"
11:15 - Johnson Wagner & Justin Rose: It has been widely reported about Wagner qualifying last week. If i were him, since i am out of contention, i would just grab one club, keep on walking until you reach your ball, take a one handed swing and move on. Your 198 will be talked about forever.
11:35 - Bubba Watson & Richard Sterne: Bubba gets disqualified with the new drug testing for chewing tobacco before the round.
11:55 - Stuart Appleby & Justin Leonard: This is the "Guys who never got laid in high school" pairing.
12:25 - Jeev Milkha Singh & Nick Watney: These two i am pretty sure don't have to worry about camera's during there swings as they play no one watching except two groupies who got kicked out of the Appleby-Leonard group.
1:15 - Phil Mickelson & Vijay Singh: I think Phil should just take off his shirt and thus ruining any chance for Vijay as he becomes fixated on his man boobs.
1:25 - Retief Goosen & Iam Poulter: My hope is that Ian breaks out is Tiara & Tutu Sunday outfit.
1:55 - Zach Johnson & Boo Weekley: The defending champion quits after his fifth attempt to try to explain to Boo the difference between the number 5 & 6.
2:05 - Tiger Woods & Stewart Cink: The main question here is will Tiger be able to deal with Cink's massive gallery.
2:15 - Steve Flesch & Paul Casey: Had to mention them as a groundskeeper might be following them.
2:25 - Brandt Snedecker & Trevor Immelman: Trevor has a chance to be the first to go all 60's round since, well i don't know since i didn't do the research. But we have to root for Brandt so next year the Champions dinner might be "Whatever you can catch with your bare hands out of the ocean."
Masters Prediction: Tiger makes a run, to the Porto-Pottys and Snedecker is the winner.
Friday, April 4, 2008
ESPN Sticks With It's Scheduled Programming
It seems that ESPN was not prepared for Brett Favre's early announcement for his retirement. They must have had a ton of material for Sports Center lined up about whether or not he will retire that they are not able to use. Well that is what we thought. Sports Center led of with a story about Brett unretiring. It seems an LA Times reporter decided to write (ie. make up) a little story about Brett's agent contacting teams and of course since it has been 16 days since ESPN talked about Favre and they needed something.
Now, I do like ESPN. But they seem to run with any rumor to try and get ratings. I am guessing within a year it will be ESPN SportsCenter sponsored by TMZ. They seem more interested in reporting about Matt Leinhart hanging out and partying with hot chicks than the actual games.
Just for future reference, ESPN will be leading off all of its Sports Center broadcasts with Barry Bonds, Brett Favre, Jose Canseco, Roger Clemens, Brian McNamee and Jessica Simpson. All who are not currently playing any professional sports. Hey thanks ESPN.
Now, I do like ESPN. But they seem to run with any rumor to try and get ratings. I am guessing within a year it will be ESPN SportsCenter sponsored by TMZ. They seem more interested in reporting about Matt Leinhart hanging out and partying with hot chicks than the actual games.
Just for future reference, ESPN will be leading off all of its Sports Center broadcasts with Barry Bonds, Brett Favre, Jose Canseco, Roger Clemens, Brian McNamee and Jessica Simpson. All who are not currently playing any professional sports. Hey thanks ESPN.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Blog Commenters Manifesto, Part 2
We are now onto part two of Blog Commenter's where i break down each type of blog commenter that you will see. Basically i am grouping anyone who comments on a blog into about 30 or so groups. Here are #6-10. (Part 1 can been seen here)
The Bad Spellar Guy
These are not just someone who mistypes a word by accident. They misspell several words and you can tell they are trying to spell them right. You can almost see them sounded it out in there head and getting: Cuncosshen, Fateeged, Intersepcion or Dubel Dribbel. These are some of the funniest post you will find.
The Personal Comment To The Player Or Team Guy
These are the guys that pop up usually during a tragedy or if a player is down for some reason. There posts normally consist of "Hey Darrell, My Family and I are Thinking of you. Go (insert sucky team)" or "My (sister, mother, friend, wife) went through the same things and you are in our prayers". This person actually believes that the athlete reads all the comments on all the blogs and say "Boy, Dan from SLC really put things in perspective in regards to my enlarged gonads". This person spends a lot of time going back to this same blog post and reading the comments hoping the player responds directly to him.
The "Disrespected" Guy
I think i hate this guy the most. He has taken this new phase where every athlete thinks their team is disrespected and now applied it to himself like he is part of the team. He usually starts all of his posts "Why does everyone disrespect MY team..." Actually thinks people are disrespecting him personally. I cant talk about this (cough, cough, Boston) guy anymore.
The Copy and Paste Guy
This guy usually has read some stat or some other story about this blog post and basically copy and paste it into his comment and try to pass it off on his own. These people are not very bright because they usually use the quote from some other writer on the same site or from the actual post. They rarely can form their own opinions in social situations and often contradict themselves when they read two differing opinions from two different stories as they get confused. This happened a lot during the Santana sweepstakes when Boston fans would comment with one opinion for him and then the next day switch their opinion when they read another columnist with a different opinion.
The Guy Who Just Posts They Are First to Comment
These people have no use in society or to the story. All they write is "First" or "1st". So basically they sit around all day and look for stories that no one has commented on yet and go type "1st". Hey congratulations, this is the first time you have been first since the short bus picked you up for school and you know how to type "1st" And really it isn't even a comment on the story, since they rarely are able to read the stories.
The Bad Spellar Guy
These are not just someone who mistypes a word by accident. They misspell several words and you can tell they are trying to spell them right. You can almost see them sounded it out in there head and getting: Cuncosshen, Fateeged, Intersepcion or Dubel Dribbel. These are some of the funniest post you will find.
The Personal Comment To The Player Or Team Guy
These are the guys that pop up usually during a tragedy or if a player is down for some reason. There posts normally consist of "Hey Darrell, My Family and I are Thinking of you. Go (insert sucky team)" or "My (sister, mother, friend, wife) went through the same things and you are in our prayers". This person actually believes that the athlete reads all the comments on all the blogs and say "Boy, Dan from SLC really put things in perspective in regards to my enlarged gonads". This person spends a lot of time going back to this same blog post and reading the comments hoping the player responds directly to him.
The "Disrespected" Guy
I think i hate this guy the most. He has taken this new phase where every athlete thinks their team is disrespected and now applied it to himself like he is part of the team. He usually starts all of his posts "Why does everyone disrespect MY team..." Actually thinks people are disrespecting him personally. I cant talk about this (cough, cough, Boston) guy anymore.
The Copy and Paste Guy
This guy usually has read some stat or some other story about this blog post and basically copy and paste it into his comment and try to pass it off on his own. These people are not very bright because they usually use the quote from some other writer on the same site or from the actual post. They rarely can form their own opinions in social situations and often contradict themselves when they read two differing opinions from two different stories as they get confused. This happened a lot during the Santana sweepstakes when Boston fans would comment with one opinion for him and then the next day switch their opinion when they read another columnist with a different opinion.
The Guy Who Just Posts They Are First to Comment
These people have no use in society or to the story. All they write is "First" or "1st". So basically they sit around all day and look for stories that no one has commented on yet and go type "1st". Hey congratulations, this is the first time you have been first since the short bus picked you up for school and you know how to type "1st" And really it isn't even a comment on the story, since they rarely are able to read the stories.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Opening Day Winners and Losers
A quick look at the winner's and loser's for each of the opening day games (and no, i don't count Boston opening in Japan as opening day even though Boston fans believe the world revolves around them)
Toronto @ Yankees (Ppd Rain)
Winner: Everyone. A day without Yankees or Red Sox baseball means all the other teams have a shot to get on Sports Center for at least 5 seconds as ESPN still spends 15 minutes bringing up stats on the last time both the Yankees and Red Sox didn't play on the same day.
Loser: Yankee fans, always Yankee fans.
Kansas City 5, Detroit 4
Winner: Kansas City. April 1st is the latest they have been in 1st place since 1979.
Loser: Detroit "Most Feared" Batting Lineup. Unless they are referring to the hitters actually fearing the baseball as they struck out 11 times. Also, a most feared lineup does not, I repeat, does not ever include Jacque Jones.
Tampa Bay 6, Baltimore 2
Winner: Brian Roberts. He went 2 for 2 with 2 walks and a stolen base. This makes him the only player on the team with any trade value and thus he has a chance to get out of Baltimore before their 120th loss (which will be sometime in Mid-May)
Loser: Jeremy Guthrie. He has set the bar pretty high for other Oriole pitchers, which i am sure they will resent him for, with him pitching 5.1 innings and only giving up 5 runs.
Cleveland 10, Chicago 8
Winner: CC Sabathia. Made it through 5.1 innings without ordering a pizza.
Loser: Mark Buehrle. 37.80 ERA dangerously close to passing the IQ of his manager.
Seattle 5, Texas 2
Winner: K Fukumori. I don't care if your ERA is over 81. If your named Fukumori you are a winner in my book.
Loser: Ichiro Suzuki. Continues to look for his first hit of the year (including spring training).
Minnesota 3, Anaheim 2
Winner: Carlos Gomez. One of the key cogs in the Johan Santana trade had 2 hits, 2 SB's and scored two runs. Advantage Twins as i don't think Johan did any of those things yesterday.
Loser: Jered Weaver. Takes the loss for the Angels. Looks like he needs some more seasoning at the Angels farm team Ridgemont High.
Arizona 4, Cincinnati 2
Winner: Ken Griffey Jr. Stats that matter so far: 1 game, 0 pulled hamstrings.
Loser: Cincinnati hitters. Your pitchers are batting 1 for 2, everyone else 2 for 27. That doesn't bode well. But that is what you risk when you lead off Corey Patterson, he is actually good for 6 outs each time through the batting order.
Milwaukee 4, Chicago 3
Winner: Eric Gagne. Even though he gave up 3 runs in the 9th inning, he did make it through the inning without being arrested for Panhandling.
Loser: Kosuke Fukudome. Sure, you will say he had 3 hits including a game tying 3 run home run in the ninth. I will say he he had 3 hits and the only time he didn't get out on the base paths (1 caught stealing and 1 pick off) was when he hit a home run. A 100% out on the base paths on hits that are not home runs is not a good percentage and he almost was called out on the base paths on his home run as he tried to run the bases backwards.
Washington 11, Philadelphia 6
Winner: Tom Gordon. Was somehow able to get the 1 out needed to only give up 5 runs in a 1/3 of an inning even though he is 67 years old and had to change his diaper 3 times during the outing.
Loser: Brett Myers. Hit two batters. Normally he only hits women.
Los Angeles 5, San Francisco 0
Winner: Joe Torre. After succumbing to pressure to start rookie Andre Ethier and seeing him go 0-4 with 6 runners left on base, he can now bench Ethier and start his overpriced worse veteran Juan Pierre like he is used to doing.
Loser: Barry Bonds. You must be one huge ass jerk of a teammate for the Giants not to resign you and instead trot out this lineup.
New York 7, Florida 2
Winner: Johan Santana. He makes about as much as the entire Florida payroll and i am pretty sure the Mets still would have won the game if they just only used Santana on defense.
Loser: Florida owner Jeffrey Loria. Pathetic attempt to field a competitive team, just pathetic. No wonder they don't have any fans. Loria should be banned from baseball.
Colorado @ St Louis (Ppd Rain)
Winner: St Louis fans. They get one more day before seeing their team suck all year.
Loser: Fans of the scrappy underdog. With Brett Favre retiring and Colorado's season opener being postponed, they are not having a good year so far.
Pittsburgh 12, Atlanta 11
Winner: Pittsburgh hitters. They matched their run total for all of last April after one game this year.
Loser: Pittsburgh hitters. They used up all their runs for the month and will probably get shut out for the rest of April, which will make it hard to win games, unless they play the Marlins.
San Diego 4, Houston 0
Winner: Jake Peavy. He may have something to say about Johan Santana already being given the Cy Young award by the writers. Like "It is an honor to finish 2nd to you Mr Santana"
Loser: Miguel Tejada. Without the steroids, he was only able to hit the ball a total of 14 feet in 4 AB's, though due to some new mystery drug that makes him have super speed he was able to get a single and a double as long as he didn't pop out to the catcher.
There is your recap of the first day of action.
Toronto @ Yankees (Ppd Rain)
Winner: Everyone. A day without Yankees or Red Sox baseball means all the other teams have a shot to get on Sports Center for at least 5 seconds as ESPN still spends 15 minutes bringing up stats on the last time both the Yankees and Red Sox didn't play on the same day.
Loser: Yankee fans, always Yankee fans.
Kansas City 5, Detroit 4
Winner: Kansas City. April 1st is the latest they have been in 1st place since 1979.
Loser: Detroit "Most Feared" Batting Lineup. Unless they are referring to the hitters actually fearing the baseball as they struck out 11 times. Also, a most feared lineup does not, I repeat, does not ever include Jacque Jones.
Tampa Bay 6, Baltimore 2
Winner: Brian Roberts. He went 2 for 2 with 2 walks and a stolen base. This makes him the only player on the team with any trade value and thus he has a chance to get out of Baltimore before their 120th loss (which will be sometime in Mid-May)
Loser: Jeremy Guthrie. He has set the bar pretty high for other Oriole pitchers, which i am sure they will resent him for, with him pitching 5.1 innings and only giving up 5 runs.
Cleveland 10, Chicago 8
Winner: CC Sabathia. Made it through 5.1 innings without ordering a pizza.
Loser: Mark Buehrle. 37.80 ERA dangerously close to passing the IQ of his manager.
Seattle 5, Texas 2
Winner: K Fukumori. I don't care if your ERA is over 81. If your named Fukumori you are a winner in my book.
Loser: Ichiro Suzuki. Continues to look for his first hit of the year (including spring training).
Minnesota 3, Anaheim 2
Winner: Carlos Gomez. One of the key cogs in the Johan Santana trade had 2 hits, 2 SB's and scored two runs. Advantage Twins as i don't think Johan did any of those things yesterday.
Loser: Jered Weaver. Takes the loss for the Angels. Looks like he needs some more seasoning at the Angels farm team Ridgemont High.
Arizona 4, Cincinnati 2
Winner: Ken Griffey Jr. Stats that matter so far: 1 game, 0 pulled hamstrings.
Loser: Cincinnati hitters. Your pitchers are batting 1 for 2, everyone else 2 for 27. That doesn't bode well. But that is what you risk when you lead off Corey Patterson, he is actually good for 6 outs each time through the batting order.
Milwaukee 4, Chicago 3
Winner: Eric Gagne. Even though he gave up 3 runs in the 9th inning, he did make it through the inning without being arrested for Panhandling.
Loser: Kosuke Fukudome. Sure, you will say he had 3 hits including a game tying 3 run home run in the ninth. I will say he he had 3 hits and the only time he didn't get out on the base paths (1 caught stealing and 1 pick off) was when he hit a home run. A 100% out on the base paths on hits that are not home runs is not a good percentage and he almost was called out on the base paths on his home run as he tried to run the bases backwards.
Washington 11, Philadelphia 6
Winner: Tom Gordon. Was somehow able to get the 1 out needed to only give up 5 runs in a 1/3 of an inning even though he is 67 years old and had to change his diaper 3 times during the outing.
Loser: Brett Myers. Hit two batters. Normally he only hits women.
Los Angeles 5, San Francisco 0
Winner: Joe Torre. After succumbing to pressure to start rookie Andre Ethier and seeing him go 0-4 with 6 runners left on base, he can now bench Ethier and start his overpriced worse veteran Juan Pierre like he is used to doing.
Loser: Barry Bonds. You must be one huge ass jerk of a teammate for the Giants not to resign you and instead trot out this lineup.
New York 7, Florida 2
Winner: Johan Santana. He makes about as much as the entire Florida payroll and i am pretty sure the Mets still would have won the game if they just only used Santana on defense.
Loser: Florida owner Jeffrey Loria. Pathetic attempt to field a competitive team, just pathetic. No wonder they don't have any fans. Loria should be banned from baseball.
Colorado @ St Louis (Ppd Rain)
Winner: St Louis fans. They get one more day before seeing their team suck all year.
Loser: Fans of the scrappy underdog. With Brett Favre retiring and Colorado's season opener being postponed, they are not having a good year so far.
Pittsburgh 12, Atlanta 11
Winner: Pittsburgh hitters. They matched their run total for all of last April after one game this year.
Loser: Pittsburgh hitters. They used up all their runs for the month and will probably get shut out for the rest of April, which will make it hard to win games, unless they play the Marlins.
San Diego 4, Houston 0
Winner: Jake Peavy. He may have something to say about Johan Santana already being given the Cy Young award by the writers. Like "It is an honor to finish 2nd to you Mr Santana"
Loser: Miguel Tejada. Without the steroids, he was only able to hit the ball a total of 14 feet in 4 AB's, though due to some new mystery drug that makes him have super speed he was able to get a single and a double as long as he didn't pop out to the catcher.
There is your recap of the first day of action.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Bracket-Knowledgy
Here is a quick peek at the brackets that were just released for March Madness:
EAST:
Sneak Peek: I guess having a big, whiny, overrated white guy can get you somewhere as UNC takes the #1 seed. I actually think that Hansborough could pull a knife, stab a guy, have sex with his sister and still get the foul called against the other guy.
Best 1st Round Matchup: #7 Butler vs #10 South Alambama. I am not sure of the committee's thinking on matching up two mid-majors. Are they trying to cover themselves by saying at least one will make it to the second round or are they afraid that both of them will make it on their own and thus piss off the network executives?
Huh?: I do admire the committee for matching up Notre Dame and George Mason in the first round. I think on the schedule Notre Dame lists this game as "Uh Oh, we have to play black people"
South:
Sneak Peek: Everyone in the media is taking shots at having Memphis a top seed. Not sure why, as i would think a team that wins every one of their games except losing to a #1 team should be considered one of the best in the country. Of course most of the media weren't able to watch any of Memphis's games as they were giving Coach K a sponge bath.
Best 1st Round Matchup: #3 Stanford vs #14 Cornell. Ivy League of the West versus, well the Ivy League champion. I think this game will come down to a play somehow designed on the periodic table.
Huh?: The Marquette-Kentucky game will feature some famous celebrity alumni. Ashley Judd for Kentucky and Chris Farley for Marquette (Chris has cancelled his appearance due to previous commitments)
WEST:
Sneak Peak: Lets just say that Coach K is a really big fan of W Kentucky and Georgia right now so his program doesn't get exposed as a fraud by getting smoked by Xavier or Drake. I wonder if a face that has had plastic surgery done so many times can actually cry?
Best 1st Round Matchup: #4 UConn vs #13 San Diego. I think U Conn is going to be a little freaked out by people with tans, thus making this game a little closer than it should be.
Huh?: Georgia snuck in the field by winning their major conference tourney and were given the #14 seed. I personally think that is too high, they should have been given the #184th seed.
MIDWEST:
Sneak Peak: Another region where they lumped all the mid-majors into the 7-10 range as so not to upset the major conferences. Ugghhh, why don't you be a little more obvious selection committee.
Best 1st Round Matchup: (a little side note, i am watching ESPN right now and they are all picking the #1 seeds in the final four and they only took 1 #3 seed in the final eight, way to take a chance and provide actual analysis there guys...arrrgghhh) #6 USC vs #11 Kansas State. This is a match up of two of the most hyped freshmen ever. Unfortunately Michael Beasley isn't driving around in a Hummer living in a prepaid mansion while having his private jet worked on like AJ Mayo. He does things the right way, Kansas State wins.
Huh?: Vanderbilt is actually good at a sport? Hmmm, i never knew
EAST:
Sneak Peek: I guess having a big, whiny, overrated white guy can get you somewhere as UNC takes the #1 seed. I actually think that Hansborough could pull a knife, stab a guy, have sex with his sister and still get the foul called against the other guy.
Best 1st Round Matchup: #7 Butler vs #10 South Alambama. I am not sure of the committee's thinking on matching up two mid-majors. Are they trying to cover themselves by saying at least one will make it to the second round or are they afraid that both of them will make it on their own and thus piss off the network executives?
Huh?: I do admire the committee for matching up Notre Dame and George Mason in the first round. I think on the schedule Notre Dame lists this game as "Uh Oh, we have to play black people"
South:
Sneak Peek: Everyone in the media is taking shots at having Memphis a top seed. Not sure why, as i would think a team that wins every one of their games except losing to a #1 team should be considered one of the best in the country. Of course most of the media weren't able to watch any of Memphis's games as they were giving Coach K a sponge bath.
Best 1st Round Matchup: #3 Stanford vs #14 Cornell. Ivy League of the West versus, well the Ivy League champion. I think this game will come down to a play somehow designed on the periodic table.
Huh?: The Marquette-Kentucky game will feature some famous celebrity alumni. Ashley Judd for Kentucky and Chris Farley for Marquette (Chris has cancelled his appearance due to previous commitments)
WEST:
Sneak Peak: Lets just say that Coach K is a really big fan of W Kentucky and Georgia right now so his program doesn't get exposed as a fraud by getting smoked by Xavier or Drake. I wonder if a face that has had plastic surgery done so many times can actually cry?
Best 1st Round Matchup: #4 UConn vs #13 San Diego. I think U Conn is going to be a little freaked out by people with tans, thus making this game a little closer than it should be.
Huh?: Georgia snuck in the field by winning their major conference tourney and were given the #14 seed. I personally think that is too high, they should have been given the #184th seed.
MIDWEST:
Sneak Peak: Another region where they lumped all the mid-majors into the 7-10 range as so not to upset the major conferences. Ugghhh, why don't you be a little more obvious selection committee.
Best 1st Round Matchup: (a little side note, i am watching ESPN right now and they are all picking the #1 seeds in the final four and they only took 1 #3 seed in the final eight, way to take a chance and provide actual analysis there guys...arrrgghhh) #6 USC vs #11 Kansas State. This is a match up of two of the most hyped freshmen ever. Unfortunately Michael Beasley isn't driving around in a Hummer living in a prepaid mansion while having his private jet worked on like AJ Mayo. He does things the right way, Kansas State wins.
Huh?: Vanderbilt is actually good at a sport? Hmmm, i never knew
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Things I Know
This may be a new feature. I just finished watching the NC-Duke game and here are the things i know:
1. Even if both Duke and NC finished 1-24, Dick Vitale would say that they should be ranked in the top ten, should both have a #1 seed in the NCAA tourney and would spout about that Coach K should be coach of the year and here is what he would way to defend that:
"You have to think, these kids are not coming from the top 5% of wealthy families, they are averaging in the 6-8% range, so they had a tough upbringing. Coach K had a tough time this year with their top point guard transferring since he would succumb to his "after hours" in my office fun times rules. Several players were out with hangnails and his top power forward missed eight games because he had to oversee his BMW getting overhauled. THAT'S WHAT I CALL REVVINNG UP BABY!!!!!"
2. Tyler Hansborough is a whiney little bitch. Anytime he is touched or a guy get within 4 feet of him he complains to the officials. Yet he is able to, while 5 players from the other team position themselves for a rebound, crash into them like bowling balls and not get called for a foul, and actually the other team gets called for the foul because of the new "You were standing in Tyler Hansboroughs way and the media loves him but has no idea who you are so you get the foul" rule. I would really love to see them get beat in the first round of March Madness (well actually i root for that every year) just to see how Tyler would react. Would he be afraid to cry so he didn't ruin his makeup for the post game interview, would he just start punching officials or would he start a fight with his teammates saying they didn't pick up the slack for his 2-24 shooting performance. I am getting excited for March Madness.
3. I am also now watching an NBA game. The NBA game doesn't even compare to the college game. There are players pretty much just walking around and letting guys by them for layups/dunks, at most i think i have seen someone jog. I guess when your already making millions of dollars, effort isn't really needed, especially for the people in the stands who are paying my salary. That why i love college basketball, and hate the NBA. I guarantee that the NBA will be the least watched sport in five years. I am not a huge fan of hockey but i will give them credit, they give 100% effort cause they care about winning. In the NBA, not so much, i think i guy will give full effort to improve his stat line when you really needed to make that extra pass to the open guy instead of trying to make a shot from over your head while falling out of bounds.
OK, what i know will return, next will be another commenter manifesto...
1. Even if both Duke and NC finished 1-24, Dick Vitale would say that they should be ranked in the top ten, should both have a #1 seed in the NCAA tourney and would spout about that Coach K should be coach of the year and here is what he would way to defend that:
"You have to think, these kids are not coming from the top 5% of wealthy families, they are averaging in the 6-8% range, so they had a tough upbringing. Coach K had a tough time this year with their top point guard transferring since he would succumb to his "after hours" in my office fun times rules. Several players were out with hangnails and his top power forward missed eight games because he had to oversee his BMW getting overhauled. THAT'S WHAT I CALL REVVINNG UP BABY!!!!!"
2. Tyler Hansborough is a whiney little bitch. Anytime he is touched or a guy get within 4 feet of him he complains to the officials. Yet he is able to, while 5 players from the other team position themselves for a rebound, crash into them like bowling balls and not get called for a foul, and actually the other team gets called for the foul because of the new "You were standing in Tyler Hansboroughs way and the media loves him but has no idea who you are so you get the foul" rule. I would really love to see them get beat in the first round of March Madness (well actually i root for that every year) just to see how Tyler would react. Would he be afraid to cry so he didn't ruin his makeup for the post game interview, would he just start punching officials or would he start a fight with his teammates saying they didn't pick up the slack for his 2-24 shooting performance. I am getting excited for March Madness.
3. I am also now watching an NBA game. The NBA game doesn't even compare to the college game. There are players pretty much just walking around and letting guys by them for layups/dunks, at most i think i have seen someone jog. I guess when your already making millions of dollars, effort isn't really needed, especially for the people in the stands who are paying my salary. That why i love college basketball, and hate the NBA. I guarantee that the NBA will be the least watched sport in five years. I am not a huge fan of hockey but i will give them credit, they give 100% effort cause they care about winning. In the NBA, not so much, i think i guy will give full effort to improve his stat line when you really needed to make that extra pass to the open guy instead of trying to make a shot from over your head while falling out of bounds.
OK, what i know will return, next will be another commenter manifesto...
Thursday, March 6, 2008
My Seattle Plea
With all the stories coming out, i am going to have several posts coming up, from the whiny players to the whiney owner, to the down right despicable NBA and their...ok forget this:
Clay Bennett: You are a scumbag, really, you are. You ask for a 500 million dollar stadium that seats maybe 18,000. Your field of play is maybe the size a decent condo in Phoenix (i would have said Ok City, but there are no condo there). Recently in Seattle they built two stadiums that at the least had 20x the field of play and seat 35,000+ and probably 60,000+ and cost about 50% of your total.
These were people that wanted to keep teams in Seattle, you are not and the fact that you pretend you want to makes you not only a liar but a money seeking wanna be part of the social scene loser. Hey maybe you should go into politics. The fact that even the fans in Ok City dont want this to happen, this way.
I know you and David have had a few slumber parties, but do what is best, keep the team in Seattle.
Clay Bennett: You are a scumbag, really, you are. You ask for a 500 million dollar stadium that seats maybe 18,000. Your field of play is maybe the size a decent condo in Phoenix (i would have said Ok City, but there are no condo there). Recently in Seattle they built two stadiums that at the least had 20x the field of play and seat 35,000+ and probably 60,000+ and cost about 50% of your total.
These were people that wanted to keep teams in Seattle, you are not and the fact that you pretend you want to makes you not only a liar but a money seeking wanna be part of the social scene loser. Hey maybe you should go into politics. The fact that even the fans in Ok City dont want this to happen, this way.
I know you and David have had a few slumber parties, but do what is best, keep the team in Seattle.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Red Sox and Their Fans are in Mid-Season Form
A couple quick links that show how the Red Sox and their fans are already in mid-season form:
Somehow this doesn't really surprise me regarding the "great" fans of Red Sox Nation.
Looks like the Red Sox scouts scout talent a little differently than the rest of the league.
Hat Tip: AOL Fanhouse
Somehow this doesn't really surprise me regarding the "great" fans of Red Sox Nation.
Looks like the Red Sox scouts scout talent a little differently than the rest of the league.
Hat Tip: AOL Fanhouse
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Who Loves Duke? - Billy Packer Thats Who
Just finished watching the NC State-Duke game and here are my thoughts:
Billy Packer and Coach K are having Sexual Relations:
How else could you explain Billy Packers obsession with Duke and how much he loves them. They can do no wrong in his eyes. Several times during the broadcast he praised Duke after NC State scored. Billy is like a 14 year old school girl with her first crush, "Sure he beats me, has sex with my sister and steals my money, but Coach K is so hot!"
Coach K's Basketball Camp Classes:
Class 1: How to Flop - The Most Important Basketball Skill
Class 2: Whining to the Officials - Even If You Just Tackled A Guy On The Way To The Basket, Its Not A Foul On You, But On Him
Class 3: You Are Superior To Everyone Else on the Planet - How To Treat Everyone You Meet Like A Lesser Human Being
Class 4: I Like Little Bo...I Mean How To Kiss Up To Me - The Benefits of only having One Shower in the Locker Room
Class 5: How To Be A Punk - Guest Speakers Christian Laitner and that Paulus kid
Class 6: How To Flop - You Really Need to know how to do this
The Referees have partied at Coach K's Compound
This is pretty easy as every single time someone comes within a breath of a Duke player a foul is called.
OK, back to the Blog Commenter's series next...
Billy Packer and Coach K are having Sexual Relations:
How else could you explain Billy Packers obsession with Duke and how much he loves them. They can do no wrong in his eyes. Several times during the broadcast he praised Duke after NC State scored. Billy is like a 14 year old school girl with her first crush, "Sure he beats me, has sex with my sister and steals my money, but Coach K is so hot!"
Coach K's Basketball Camp Classes:
Class 1: How to Flop - The Most Important Basketball Skill
Class 2: Whining to the Officials - Even If You Just Tackled A Guy On The Way To The Basket, Its Not A Foul On You, But On Him
Class 3: You Are Superior To Everyone Else on the Planet - How To Treat Everyone You Meet Like A Lesser Human Being
Class 4: I Like Little Bo...I Mean How To Kiss Up To Me - The Benefits of only having One Shower in the Locker Room
Class 5: How To Be A Punk - Guest Speakers Christian Laitner and that Paulus kid
Class 6: How To Flop - You Really Need to know how to do this
The Referees have partied at Coach K's Compound
This is pretty easy as every single time someone comes within a breath of a Duke player a foul is called.
OK, back to the Blog Commenter's series next...
Friday, February 29, 2008
Blog Commenters Manifesto - Part 1
I read a lot of sports blogs and almost all of them have a comment section where readers can post comments. Most of these comments fall under several categories (obviously i had to read other blogs to get these categories as i think i have had 7 comments total and i believe two of them have been in Portuguese - WhooHoo, I am huge in Portugal). So over my time reading these comments i have broken down these commenter's into several categories, and this is the first group that i need to make fun of: (and by guy i mean girl too)
The My Team Is Perfect Guy: This is one (along with the next one) of the most obvious and most frequent of commenter's. This guy will defend his team to no end. This guy can't believe how you can rank any other team over his team. It really doesn't matter where his team is ranked either. His team could be 1-10 but can't grasp the reality that his team is not ranked #1 in every single ranking on the whole net. They usually end their posts with a "GO (MY SUCKY TEAM)!!!!!
The My Team Can Do No Wrong Guy: Now you may think this guy is the same as the one above but he is not. This guy may realize that his team is not perfect but he will defend any move by his team and then at some point he will morph into the above guy. This is the guy that will defend the Rex Grossman resigning with things like "He throws a nice spiral, he will get it done this year." He will also defend any free agent signing or trade by his team by saying "I know PacMan Jones has had some troubles, but they weren't his fault. He just put himself in a bad situation and once he gets to (MY SUCKY TEAM) he is going to turn the corner. When in reality his QB will probably kill a fan with an errant throw and his town is about to have several more incidents per night at the strip club. This guy is highly delusional and actually thinks he is part of the team.
The Complete D-Bag (Boston Poster): Lets just get this out of the way. They used to be cute in their lovable loser kinda way but now that they are winning they are smug punk d-bags. They usually claim that you are just jealous of their team when in all reality they are just jealous of people who leave their home and have friends. Now half of them are bandwagon jumpers who love the Lakers, Cowboys, Spurs, Red Wings, Colts, or whoever is winning the title that year. Anyways, 'Nuff Said.
The Guy Not Bright Enough to Formulate a Full Sentence: This guy usually just posts "Go Packers!" or "LT Rules". Yeah, thank you for your insight, I now think LT Rules and Packers are my favorite team. Three step program for you: 1. Learn to Read. 2. Read the actual story/blog post. 3. Form a Sentence. I think it is a 10-year program.
The Guy Who Thinks he is the Next Matt Millen: This guy treats his posts like he is actually making the transactions, and in his mind he probably is. He really thinks that he can get Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson for a nickel back who just had an interception, a long snapper and a 7th round draft pick in 2016. He usually uses the words "His trade value has never been higher" and "The other team would be foolish not to make this deal" This guy probably plays way too much Madden and other sports video games in season mode. His reality is our video game enjoyment.
OK, i have over 30 of these so i am going to do them in sets of 5.
The My Team Is Perfect Guy: This is one (along with the next one) of the most obvious and most frequent of commenter's. This guy will defend his team to no end. This guy can't believe how you can rank any other team over his team. It really doesn't matter where his team is ranked either. His team could be 1-10 but can't grasp the reality that his team is not ranked #1 in every single ranking on the whole net. They usually end their posts with a "GO (MY SUCKY TEAM)!!!!!
The My Team Can Do No Wrong Guy: Now you may think this guy is the same as the one above but he is not. This guy may realize that his team is not perfect but he will defend any move by his team and then at some point he will morph into the above guy. This is the guy that will defend the Rex Grossman resigning with things like "He throws a nice spiral, he will get it done this year." He will also defend any free agent signing or trade by his team by saying "I know PacMan Jones has had some troubles, but they weren't his fault. He just put himself in a bad situation and once he gets to (MY SUCKY TEAM) he is going to turn the corner. When in reality his QB will probably kill a fan with an errant throw and his town is about to have several more incidents per night at the strip club. This guy is highly delusional and actually thinks he is part of the team.
The Complete D-Bag (Boston Poster): Lets just get this out of the way. They used to be cute in their lovable loser kinda way but now that they are winning they are smug punk d-bags. They usually claim that you are just jealous of their team when in all reality they are just jealous of people who leave their home and have friends. Now half of them are bandwagon jumpers who love the Lakers, Cowboys, Spurs, Red Wings, Colts, or whoever is winning the title that year. Anyways, 'Nuff Said.
The Guy Not Bright Enough to Formulate a Full Sentence: This guy usually just posts "Go Packers!" or "LT Rules". Yeah, thank you for your insight, I now think LT Rules and Packers are my favorite team. Three step program for you: 1. Learn to Read. 2. Read the actual story/blog post. 3. Form a Sentence. I think it is a 10-year program.
The Guy Who Thinks he is the Next Matt Millen: This guy treats his posts like he is actually making the transactions, and in his mind he probably is. He really thinks that he can get Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson for a nickel back who just had an interception, a long snapper and a 7th round draft pick in 2016. He usually uses the words "His trade value has never been higher" and "The other team would be foolish not to make this deal" This guy probably plays way too much Madden and other sports video games in season mode. His reality is our video game enjoyment.
OK, i have over 30 of these so i am going to do them in sets of 5.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Match Play Update
Here is a quick update as to what has happened so far in the WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship played somewhere where it is 80 degrees warmer than where i am at. We will break it down by group:
Bobby Jones Bracket
Bobby Jones Bracket
- Tiger had the match of the tourney in the first round against JB Holmes where he was down 3 with 5 holes to play and won. Rumor is that he was tanking the match because he didn't want to face #2 seed Rory Sabbatini since he thinks Tiger is beatable. Once he saw that Rory lost, he turned on the Tiger jets...that doesn't even make sense, Tiger Jets?
- Speaking of Rory, if he thinks #1 Tiger is "beatable", then he must think that 15th seed Bradley Dredge is not beatable as Dredge smoked him 4&3. I think Rory need to re-think he stance and just say "Rory Sabbatini is very beatable, if Bradley Dredge can do it, any local hacker can, trust me"
- Tiger's next match will feature Aaron Baddeley who has had it pretty easy so far beating a guy just praying for his senior tour rights to start in Mark Calcavecchia and David Toms, who was so scared to play Baddeley that he withdrew. My guess is Toms withdrew because he saw that commercial with "Bads" and the hot chicks and assumed they would be with him. And we all know that Toms tends to play with a full shaft that isn't very impressive.
Ben Hogan Bracket
- #16 seed Jonathan Byrd has just been smoking the competition beating #1 seed Ernie Els 6&5 and #9 seed Andres Romero 6&4, well that is if you can call Els and Romero competition.
- Supposedly Boo Weekley was not versed in the Match Play etiquette that you concede short putts. Either that or he knew the rule, but just wanted to see Sergio Garcia cry. I really hope it is the latter. Next up for Boo is Woody Austin so this will be the Boo-Woody match up which is a chant heard at many Martha Burk feminist rallies and at anti woodpecker rallies.
- How the hell did someone named Toru Taniguchi get a 7 seed? The people who picked the seeds must have been hungry.
Gary Player Bracket
- Boobs Mickelson lost in the second round to Stuart Appleby, which is understandable since Stuart only has apples whereas Phil has watermelons to breasts.
- That is all i have for this bracket pretty much. Yeah its that lame.
Sam Snead Bracket
- Steve Stricker is the only other #1 seed left as he beat Daniel Chopra and Hunter Mahan both in 20 holes. I think he should stick with this strategy with his next round match as he faces Angel Cabrera and if it goes to extra holes i am pretty sure Cabrera will be disqualified when he runs over to the store to pick up more smokes
- Monty is back and his match play legend grows as he has defeated two higher seeds already. Even better it has been two Americans and he faces another in Stewart Cink in the next round. This must be satisfying for Monty since the US crowds usually heckle him and the fact that he can't beat any of them during a normal PGA tourney.
Do you realize that i could have taken a final four of Bradley Dredge, Toru Taniguchi, Peter Hanson, and Anders Hansen and got 1,000,000-to-1 odds. It would have been win-win if it happened as I would have had a million dollars and there would have been several TV executives from the network covering the event jump out of the 30th floor windows. In reality, there is still a possible (15) Montgomerie, (15) Pampling, (16) Byrd, & (7) Casey final four, that would be awesome.
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
The State of Minnesota Sports
A quick check in on the state of Minnesota sports (this may be a recurring theme, either with just MN, or switching it up)
Minnesota Twins: The bad news is they start this year without Cy Young award winner Johan Santana after he was traded to the Mets. The good news is that they start this year without having to pay Carlos Silva over $10 million a year for 14 strike-outs per year, which equals the number of fried bacon sandwiches he eats before each game.
Minnesota Vikings: The bad news is they have been pretty quiet this offseason in terms of trades or free agent signings even though they are in desparate need of someone to actually throw the ball, catch the ball and defend against catching the ball, some things that i kinda key to winning football games. The good news is that they have been pretty quiet this offseason off the field as it has been rumored that some Minneapolis policemen and women were able to take a day of vacation.
Minnesota T-Wolves: The bad news is that they are the 2nd worst team in the league right now. The good news is that they are 1-0 since the All-Star break after their win last night, which, if they played in the East would only put them 4 games out of a playoff spot.
Minnesota Wild: The bad news is they lost last night to the hated Canucks. The good news is that they somehow still got a point for the loss. I really like this NHL metric system scoring. I am guessing Selig will pick this up soon so he can confuse people as to how wins & losses are scored and have Boston, New York, Anaheim, Chicago, Chicago, New York, Los Angeles & St Louis in the playoffs every year. Wait, he isn't smart enough to figure that out.
Minnesota Gophers FB: The bad news is they had the worst defense in Division I football last year. The good news is they are thinking of hiring a new defensive coordinator from that football powerhouse Duke.
Ok, there is the update on the MN scene...
Minnesota Twins: The bad news is they start this year without Cy Young award winner Johan Santana after he was traded to the Mets. The good news is that they start this year without having to pay Carlos Silva over $10 million a year for 14 strike-outs per year, which equals the number of fried bacon sandwiches he eats before each game.
Minnesota Vikings: The bad news is they have been pretty quiet this offseason in terms of trades or free agent signings even though they are in desparate need of someone to actually throw the ball, catch the ball and defend against catching the ball, some things that i kinda key to winning football games. The good news is that they have been pretty quiet this offseason off the field as it has been rumored that some Minneapolis policemen and women were able to take a day of vacation.
Minnesota T-Wolves: The bad news is that they are the 2nd worst team in the league right now. The good news is that they are 1-0 since the All-Star break after their win last night, which, if they played in the East would only put them 4 games out of a playoff spot.
Minnesota Wild: The bad news is they lost last night to the hated Canucks. The good news is that they somehow still got a point for the loss. I really like this NHL metric system scoring. I am guessing Selig will pick this up soon so he can confuse people as to how wins & losses are scored and have Boston, New York, Anaheim, Chicago, Chicago, New York, Los Angeles & St Louis in the playoffs every year. Wait, he isn't smart enough to figure that out.
Minnesota Gophers FB: The bad news is they had the worst defense in Division I football last year. The good news is they are thinking of hiring a new defensive coordinator from that football powerhouse Duke.
Ok, there is the update on the MN scene...
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Pats Fans Somehow Climb Over The Bar They Set for Being Dickheads
This is unbelievable. It seems that the Patriot fans have started a petition to Roger Goodell that basically says they want the last 1:20 seconds of the game replayed due to what they feel is a timeclock issue. This story via Kissing Suzy Kolber:
Now, the Pats fans have been cocky all year, and not just the fans but even the local newpaper was allowing you to preorder their 19-0 book on Amazon.com. But this goes beyond any imaginable sort of douchebaggery. It seems that according to this guy, the Patriots are so perfect that their loss had to be some sort of conspiracy against the Pats by the NFL, The referees, any other fan of any other team, Las Vegas, and midget hookers as the Pats would never lose a game because of such things as bad offensive line play, several dropped interceptions, Brady turning into Tony Eason or being out-coached.
I have never in my life seen a bigger set of fanbase losers and sore losers than the Boston area fans. And because of this WIN (yes Pat fans, the Giants did win the game) it now makes them the most laughable fanbase around. The fact that they would start a petition protesting the game makes me think that the actual fan of the Patriots think that the Patriots never did anything illegal ever. Not once have they held all year. Not once have they interfered with a pass as they are so awesome they don't need to. Not once did they tape other teams illegally...oh wait they did that, but the Pats defense is that everyone does it, even though noone else has been caught, but i am pretty sure this one commenter on a message board has proof on every single team to back up his claim.
Anyways, my favorite part of the Kissing Suzy Kolber column is the quote from one of the signers of the petition who says something to the effect of "Well, all you Giant fans are talking smack now, but if you were real men you would come play us again either in a full game or replay of the last 1:20 of this game." So this guy thinks, "Well you beat us, but if we played again we would beat you, and you if still beat us, you would be a wuss if you didnt play us again" So i am guessing Roger Goodell is going to look at this petition and not only replay the Super Bowl but schedule between 16-32 games for the Patriots next season depending on if they win or lose.
Before i just thought the Pats fans were cocky and annoying, now i feel that not only are they still cocky and annoying, but they are also delusional, petty, pathetic and somehow have a sense of entitlement to winning everything without actually playing the games. When you think they couldnt become any more hated, they prove you wrong.
Now, the Pats fans have been cocky all year, and not just the fans but even the local newpaper was allowing you to preorder their 19-0 book on Amazon.com. But this goes beyond any imaginable sort of douchebaggery. It seems that according to this guy, the Patriots are so perfect that their loss had to be some sort of conspiracy against the Pats by the NFL, The referees, any other fan of any other team, Las Vegas, and midget hookers as the Pats would never lose a game because of such things as bad offensive line play, several dropped interceptions, Brady turning into Tony Eason or being out-coached.
I have never in my life seen a bigger set of fanbase losers and sore losers than the Boston area fans. And because of this WIN (yes Pat fans, the Giants did win the game) it now makes them the most laughable fanbase around. The fact that they would start a petition protesting the game makes me think that the actual fan of the Patriots think that the Patriots never did anything illegal ever. Not once have they held all year. Not once have they interfered with a pass as they are so awesome they don't need to. Not once did they tape other teams illegally...oh wait they did that, but the Pats defense is that everyone does it, even though noone else has been caught, but i am pretty sure this one commenter on a message board has proof on every single team to back up his claim.
Anyways, my favorite part of the Kissing Suzy Kolber column is the quote from one of the signers of the petition who says something to the effect of "Well, all you Giant fans are talking smack now, but if you were real men you would come play us again either in a full game or replay of the last 1:20 of this game." So this guy thinks, "Well you beat us, but if we played again we would beat you, and you if still beat us, you would be a wuss if you didnt play us again" So i am guessing Roger Goodell is going to look at this petition and not only replay the Super Bowl but schedule between 16-32 games for the Patriots next season depending on if they win or lose.
Before i just thought the Pats fans were cocky and annoying, now i feel that not only are they still cocky and annoying, but they are also delusional, petty, pathetic and somehow have a sense of entitlement to winning everything without actually playing the games. When you think they couldnt become any more hated, they prove you wrong.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Quick Hits - 2/6/08
Some quick hits (most of them probably singles):
Kevin Hart must really like camera's and hippies
It has been reported that Kevin Hart, the Fernely High School Offensive Lineman who told everyone that he has committed to play football for the Pac 10's Cal, was actually lying and had never been recruited by them. You know, i am on his side. I have never been able to hold a press conference and i have always regretted that. My guess is that he saw this as his only opportunity to have a press conference in his life, as he will probably soon be a McDonald's employee and they don't tend to have press conference's unless they are shot. This is also what i imagine the scene in the coaches office at Cal would have sounded like:
Underachieving Lazy Scout: Hey coach, I got us Kevin Hart, he signed!!!!!!
Head Coach: Sweet! That is awesome! Wait, who is Kevin Hart?
Underachieving Lazy Scout: Sir, I will tell you, first have your scotch...
Way to go sir, you got your press conference, now get me my fries...
Bobby Knight, Bobby Petrino, and Nick Saban - BFF
Bobby Knight has resigned in the middle of the season so he can force his son on Texas Tech. This is my guess as to his resignation letter:
F$#@ you, you smug piece of S&%$. Sitting up here in your #$% &*%$ Ivory Tower where i can't throw a $%#$&%^ chair at you, you $#%#$%#!!!!! You don't let me beat these #$%&*#$ kids to teach them a lesson? Eff You, you prick!....Oh hey, i might need a letter of recommendation for a better job I am going to take later this season. Thanks. F$%#&*.
Willie Andrews gets caught in the ultimate rookie hazing
Willie Andrews, a rookie for the Super Bowl LOSING!!! New England Patriots, was caught two days after the Super Bowl with a 1/2 pound of marijuana. Here are his top excuse's:
1. "Hey, I'm a rookie drafted in the 7th round. I am a teammate of Randy Moss. You do the math"
2. "You saw how irate Bill Belichick got when he was leaving the field early. He was going nuts. I thought he was going to kill someone the way he was running around ranting and raving on the field. We needed something to calm him down"
3. "Hey man, I don't smoke pot. That is against league policy. I was just trying to steal a van, which is fine with the league. It just so happens that I stole Nate Newtons van right after he made a delivery. It was poor judgement on my part, but who would have thought that Nate would have left any behind?"
Alright, thats it for now, might have more quick hits tomorrow as I still have some things to say about Shaq, Roger and Las Vegas.
Kevin Hart must really like camera's and hippies
It has been reported that Kevin Hart, the Fernely High School Offensive Lineman who told everyone that he has committed to play football for the Pac 10's Cal, was actually lying and had never been recruited by them. You know, i am on his side. I have never been able to hold a press conference and i have always regretted that. My guess is that he saw this as his only opportunity to have a press conference in his life, as he will probably soon be a McDonald's employee and they don't tend to have press conference's unless they are shot. This is also what i imagine the scene in the coaches office at Cal would have sounded like:
Underachieving Lazy Scout: Hey coach, I got us Kevin Hart, he signed!!!!!!
Head Coach: Sweet! That is awesome! Wait, who is Kevin Hart?
Underachieving Lazy Scout: Sir, I will tell you, first have your scotch...
Way to go sir, you got your press conference, now get me my fries...
Bobby Knight, Bobby Petrino, and Nick Saban - BFF
Bobby Knight has resigned in the middle of the season so he can force his son on Texas Tech. This is my guess as to his resignation letter:
F$#@ you, you smug piece of S&%$. Sitting up here in your #$% &*%$ Ivory Tower where i can't throw a $%#$&%^ chair at you, you $#%#$%#!!!!! You don't let me beat these #$%&*#$ kids to teach them a lesson? Eff You, you prick!....Oh hey, i might need a letter of recommendation for a better job I am going to take later this season. Thanks. F$%#&*.
Willie Andrews gets caught in the ultimate rookie hazing
Willie Andrews, a rookie for the Super Bowl LOSING!!! New England Patriots, was caught two days after the Super Bowl with a 1/2 pound of marijuana. Here are his top excuse's:
1. "Hey, I'm a rookie drafted in the 7th round. I am a teammate of Randy Moss. You do the math"
2. "You saw how irate Bill Belichick got when he was leaving the field early. He was going nuts. I thought he was going to kill someone the way he was running around ranting and raving on the field. We needed something to calm him down"
3. "Hey man, I don't smoke pot. That is against league policy. I was just trying to steal a van, which is fine with the league. It just so happens that I stole Nate Newtons van right after he made a delivery. It was poor judgement on my part, but who would have thought that Nate would have left any behind?"
Alright, thats it for now, might have more quick hits tomorrow as I still have some things to say about Shaq, Roger and Las Vegas.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
Super Bowl Hopes and Prediction
A quick post on what i hope happens today at the Super Bowl and a prediction:
1.) Bill Belichick's mistresses get into an all out catfight that spills onto the field in a tickle fight. All the while Bill is making out with Pam Oliver on the sideline and breaking up his 3rd marriage, which might be an NFL record if Travis Henry didn't play football
2.) They show the Peyton Manning Pep Talk commercial where he is bummed out that the season ended. I truly feel that Peyton purposely blew the playoff game against the Chargers so he could get this commercial to air sooner and pick up his check.
3.) Eli Manning to actually crap his pants running out from the tunnel
4.) Randy Moss to run over a cop on the way to the game and be incarcerated
5.) Rodney Harrison to run out on the field with his HGH needle still in his bum.
Alright, i said it was quick, here is my prediction and it is a dilemma, i spent most of the season ripping on the Patriots and Eli Manning, in the end, the Pats are a great team and i can never back Eli...well until now...Giants 37, Pats 3
1.) Bill Belichick's mistresses get into an all out catfight that spills onto the field in a tickle fight. All the while Bill is making out with Pam Oliver on the sideline and breaking up his 3rd marriage, which might be an NFL record if Travis Henry didn't play football
2.) They show the Peyton Manning Pep Talk commercial where he is bummed out that the season ended. I truly feel that Peyton purposely blew the playoff game against the Chargers so he could get this commercial to air sooner and pick up his check.
3.) Eli Manning to actually crap his pants running out from the tunnel
4.) Randy Moss to run over a cop on the way to the game and be incarcerated
5.) Rodney Harrison to run out on the field with his HGH needle still in his bum.
Alright, i said it was quick, here is my prediction and it is a dilemma, i spent most of the season ripping on the Patriots and Eli Manning, in the end, the Pats are a great team and i can never back Eli...well until now...Giants 37, Pats 3
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Santana's Farewell
I am a devoted Twins fan and i am still trying to grasp this. Here are my original thoughts:
1. In terms of names traded that didn't include the best pitcher in baseball, this may have not been our best deal that was on the table. Don't think that i am not hoping that Lester, Ellersby, Hughes and Cabrera all somehow get involved in a huge cat fighting ring and head to jail for a long time. Either that or hang out with Roger Clemens right before a drug test.
2. I would feel a lot more comfortable if Terry Ryan were making this trade.
3. Is Santana more valuable than the recent Morneau/Cuddyer signings? Looking at the Twins replacement value in terms of hitters and pitchers in the minors, i have talked myself into no. Also, there was no way we were signing Santana and if he said "no-trade" after spring training started, he would walk away without us getting anything.
So in the end, I guess i am OK with the trade. We do have some pitchers that are going to have to step up, Liriano is hopefully fully recovered, and we do look a little more potent on the offensive end so far from this off season.
Now onto my normal type of post. I got most of my information from here. And let me say, they talked me off a ledge as there is some real promise with these guys (all were ranked in the top ten prospects of the Mets by Baseball America, but that doesn't mean i can't make fun of them:
Carlos Gomez, OF: They say he is a 5-tool player. I guess those 5 tools must mean, Speed, Defense, Arm, Strikeouts and Breaking Your Hand. Currently he strikes out about 1 out of 5 times. Now the guy/Twins legend he is replacing, Torii Hunter, struck out a lot early in his career, so plate discipline is something you can teach and the Twins are good at. And a strikeout is better than a double play, that is of course unless Mike Redmond happens to be stealing on the play.
Phil Humber, SP: He was the 3rd overall pick in the 2004 draft. Well one Tommy John surgery later and he isn't considered as good a prospect. I guess the Twins wanted someone who was going through what Liriano was going through, someone to talk with about it, share an ice tub after the game with, or just that there chances of someone recovering from this injury has now doubled. They are saying he hasn't gotten back to his pre-surgery form yet, which was a 4.99 ERA in single A. Ummm, that's not a good sign. But he did have 120 SO's in 139IP last year, so there is hope.
Deolis Guerra, SP: He is the #2 ranked prospect in the Met organization and has a mid-90's fastball, a plus change-up and is working on a curve ball, all this and he is only 18. All that is good, but by all expectations, he will start the year in Ft Myers, FL. In April. Lets put two and two together and say: 18 (soon to be 19) year old prospect + spring break in Florida in April = Well, other than an awesome party with bikini clad chicks, but not the best place for a prospect to be. Ohh, and he has had shoulder tendinitis, any of these guys not injured?
Kevin Mulvey, SP: He was 12-10 last year with a 3.20 ERA in AA. He was also named the Minor League Pitcher of the Year for the Mets. This says two things. The Mets minor league system must really suck and he is probably the 15th rated pitching prospect in the Twins organization now.
Alright, so that was my day of many emotions and i think i will recover. Its hard to lose not only such a great team player, but also the best pitcher in baseball. But the Twins have a better offense than last year, and a wealth of young pitching and some of the group (Bonser, Liriano, Baker, Slowey, Blackburn, Humber and Mulvey) is going to have to step up.
1. In terms of names traded that didn't include the best pitcher in baseball, this may have not been our best deal that was on the table. Don't think that i am not hoping that Lester, Ellersby, Hughes and Cabrera all somehow get involved in a huge cat fighting ring and head to jail for a long time. Either that or hang out with Roger Clemens right before a drug test.
2. I would feel a lot more comfortable if Terry Ryan were making this trade.
3. Is Santana more valuable than the recent Morneau/Cuddyer signings? Looking at the Twins replacement value in terms of hitters and pitchers in the minors, i have talked myself into no. Also, there was no way we were signing Santana and if he said "no-trade" after spring training started, he would walk away without us getting anything.
So in the end, I guess i am OK with the trade. We do have some pitchers that are going to have to step up, Liriano is hopefully fully recovered, and we do look a little more potent on the offensive end so far from this off season.
Now onto my normal type of post. I got most of my information from here. And let me say, they talked me off a ledge as there is some real promise with these guys (all were ranked in the top ten prospects of the Mets by Baseball America, but that doesn't mean i can't make fun of them:
Carlos Gomez, OF: They say he is a 5-tool player. I guess those 5 tools must mean, Speed, Defense, Arm, Strikeouts and Breaking Your Hand. Currently he strikes out about 1 out of 5 times. Now the guy/Twins legend he is replacing, Torii Hunter, struck out a lot early in his career, so plate discipline is something you can teach and the Twins are good at. And a strikeout is better than a double play, that is of course unless Mike Redmond happens to be stealing on the play.
Phil Humber, SP: He was the 3rd overall pick in the 2004 draft. Well one Tommy John surgery later and he isn't considered as good a prospect. I guess the Twins wanted someone who was going through what Liriano was going through, someone to talk with about it, share an ice tub after the game with, or just that there chances of someone recovering from this injury has now doubled. They are saying he hasn't gotten back to his pre-surgery form yet, which was a 4.99 ERA in single A. Ummm, that's not a good sign. But he did have 120 SO's in 139IP last year, so there is hope.
Deolis Guerra, SP: He is the #2 ranked prospect in the Met organization and has a mid-90's fastball, a plus change-up and is working on a curve ball, all this and he is only 18. All that is good, but by all expectations, he will start the year in Ft Myers, FL. In April. Lets put two and two together and say: 18 (soon to be 19) year old prospect + spring break in Florida in April = Well, other than an awesome party with bikini clad chicks, but not the best place for a prospect to be. Ohh, and he has had shoulder tendinitis, any of these guys not injured?
Kevin Mulvey, SP: He was 12-10 last year with a 3.20 ERA in AA. He was also named the Minor League Pitcher of the Year for the Mets. This says two things. The Mets minor league system must really suck and he is probably the 15th rated pitching prospect in the Twins organization now.
Alright, so that was my day of many emotions and i think i will recover. Its hard to lose not only such a great team player, but also the best pitcher in baseball. But the Twins have a better offense than last year, and a wealth of young pitching and some of the group (Bonser, Liriano, Baker, Slowey, Blackburn, Humber and Mulvey) is going to have to step up.
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