Opening Day Winners and Losers

A quick look at the winner's and loser's for each of the opening day games (and no, i don't count Boston opening in Japan as opening day even though Boston fans believe the world revolves around them)

Toronto @ Yankees (Ppd Rain)

Winner: Everyone. A day without Yankees or Red Sox baseball means all the other teams have a shot to get on Sports Center for at least 5 seconds as ESPN still spends 15 minutes bringing up stats on the last time both the Yankees and Red Sox didn't play on the same day.
Loser: Yankee fans, always Yankee fans.

Kansas City 5, Detroit 4

Winner: Kansas City. April 1st is the latest they have been in 1st place since 1979.
Loser: Detroit "Most Feared" Batting Lineup. Unless they are referring to the hitters actually fearing the baseball as they struck out 11 times. Also, a most feared lineup does not, I repeat, does not ever include Jacque Jones.

Tampa Bay 6, Baltimore 2

Winner: Brian Roberts. He went 2 for 2 with 2 walks and a stolen base. This makes him the only player on the team with any trade value and thus he has a chance to get out of Baltimore before their 120th loss (which will be sometime in Mid-May)
Loser: Jeremy Guthrie. He has set the bar pretty high for other Oriole pitchers, which i am sure they will resent him for, with him pitching 5.1 innings and only giving up 5 runs.

Cleveland 10, Chicago 8

Winner: CC Sabathia. Made it through 5.1 innings without ordering a pizza.
Loser: Mark Buehrle. 37.80 ERA dangerously close to passing the IQ of his manager.

Seattle 5, Texas 2

Winner: K Fukumori. I don't care if your ERA is over 81. If your named Fukumori you are a winner in my book.
Loser: Ichiro Suzuki. Continues to look for his first hit of the year (including spring training).

Minnesota 3, Anaheim 2

Winner: Carlos Gomez. One of the key cogs in the Johan Santana trade had 2 hits, 2 SB's and scored two runs. Advantage Twins as i don't think Johan did any of those things yesterday.
Loser: Jered Weaver. Takes the loss for the Angels. Looks like he needs some more seasoning at the Angels farm team Ridgemont High.

Arizona 4, Cincinnati 2

Winner: Ken Griffey Jr. Stats that matter so far: 1 game, 0 pulled hamstrings.
Loser: Cincinnati hitters. Your pitchers are batting 1 for 2, everyone else 2 for 27. That doesn't bode well. But that is what you risk when you lead off Corey Patterson, he is actually good for 6 outs each time through the batting order.

Milwaukee 4, Chicago 3

Winner: Eric Gagne. Even though he gave up 3 runs in the 9th inning, he did make it through the inning without being arrested for Panhandling.
Loser: Kosuke Fukudome. Sure, you will say he had 3 hits including a game tying 3 run home run in the ninth. I will say he he had 3 hits and the only time he didn't get out on the base paths (1 caught stealing and 1 pick off) was when he hit a home run. A 100% out on the base paths on hits that are not home runs is not a good percentage and he almost was called out on the base paths on his home run as he tried to run the bases backwards.

Washington 11, Philadelphia 6

Winner: Tom Gordon. Was somehow able to get the 1 out needed to only give up 5 runs in a 1/3 of an inning even though he is 67 years old and had to change his diaper 3 times during the outing.
Loser: Brett Myers. Hit two batters. Normally he only hits women.

Los Angeles 5, San Francisco 0

Winner: Joe Torre. After succumbing to pressure to start rookie Andre Ethier and seeing him go 0-4 with 6 runners left on base, he can now bench Ethier and start his overpriced worse veteran Juan Pierre like he is used to doing.
Loser: Barry Bonds. You must be one huge ass jerk of a teammate for the Giants not to resign you and instead trot out this lineup.

New York 7, Florida 2

Winner: Johan Santana. He makes about as much as the entire Florida payroll and i am pretty sure the Mets still would have won the game if they just only used Santana on defense.
Loser: Florida owner Jeffrey Loria. Pathetic attempt to field a competitive team, just pathetic. No wonder they don't have any fans. Loria should be banned from baseball.

Colorado @ St Louis (Ppd Rain)

Winner: St Louis fans. They get one more day before seeing their team suck all year.
Loser: Fans of the scrappy underdog. With Brett Favre retiring and Colorado's season opener being postponed, they are not having a good year so far.

Pittsburgh 12, Atlanta 11

Winner: Pittsburgh hitters. They matched their run total for all of last April after one game this year.
Loser: Pittsburgh hitters. They used up all their runs for the month and will probably get shut out for the rest of April, which will make it hard to win games, unless they play the Marlins.

San Diego 4, Houston 0

Winner: Jake Peavy. He may have something to say about Johan Santana already being given the Cy Young award by the writers. Like "It is an honor to finish 2nd to you Mr Santana"
Loser: Miguel Tejada. Without the steroids, he was only able to hit the ball a total of 14 feet in 4 AB's, though due to some new mystery drug that makes him have super speed he was able to get a single and a double as long as he didn't pop out to the catcher.

There is your recap of the first day of action.