I am going to take a quick look at the tee times for the final round and make one comment for the ones that interest me:
10:35 - Sandy Lyle: If i were him, I would take as much time as possible, nobody's going to be watching anyways, eat a sandwich in the fairway, work on your tan or grab the Sunday paper and work your magic in the Porta-Potty.
11:05 - Niclas Fasth & Todd Hamilton: Do you think Todd is going, "Wow, I haven't made a cut since i won my major and not only do i get to play in the Masters but i get to play with the legend Nick Faldo"
11:15 - Johnson Wagner & Justin Rose: It has been widely reported about Wagner qualifying last week. If i were him, since i am out of contention, i would just grab one club, keep on walking until you reach your ball, take a one handed swing and move on. Your 198 will be talked about forever.
11:35 - Bubba Watson & Richard Sterne: Bubba gets disqualified with the new drug testing for chewing tobacco before the round.
11:55 - Stuart Appleby & Justin Leonard: This is the "Guys who never got laid in high school" pairing.
12:25 - Jeev Milkha Singh & Nick Watney: These two i am pretty sure don't have to worry about camera's during there swings as they play no one watching except two groupies who got kicked out of the Appleby-Leonard group.
1:15 - Phil Mickelson & Vijay Singh: I think Phil should just take off his shirt and thus ruining any chance for Vijay as he becomes fixated on his man boobs.
1:25 - Retief Goosen & Iam Poulter: My hope is that Ian breaks out is Tiara & Tutu Sunday outfit.
1:55 - Zach Johnson & Boo Weekley: The defending champion quits after his fifth attempt to try to explain to Boo the difference between the number 5 & 6.
2:05 - Tiger Woods & Stewart Cink: The main question here is will Tiger be able to deal with Cink's massive gallery.
2:15 - Steve Flesch & Paul Casey: Had to mention them as a groundskeeper might be following them.
2:25 - Brandt Snedecker & Trevor Immelman: Trevor has a chance to be the first to go all 60's round since, well i don't know since i didn't do the research. But we have to root for Brandt so next year the Champions dinner might be "Whatever you can catch with your bare hands out of the ocean."
Masters Prediction: Tiger makes a run, to the Porto-Pottys and Snedecker is the winner.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Friday, April 4, 2008
ESPN Sticks With It's Scheduled Programming
It seems that ESPN was not prepared for Brett Favre's early announcement for his retirement. They must have had a ton of material for Sports Center lined up about whether or not he will retire that they are not able to use. Well that is what we thought. Sports Center led of with a story about Brett unretiring. It seems an LA Times reporter decided to write (ie. make up) a little story about Brett's agent contacting teams and of course since it has been 16 days since ESPN talked about Favre and they needed something.
Now, I do like ESPN. But they seem to run with any rumor to try and get ratings. I am guessing within a year it will be ESPN SportsCenter sponsored by TMZ. They seem more interested in reporting about Matt Leinhart hanging out and partying with hot chicks than the actual games.
Just for future reference, ESPN will be leading off all of its Sports Center broadcasts with Barry Bonds, Brett Favre, Jose Canseco, Roger Clemens, Brian McNamee and Jessica Simpson. All who are not currently playing any professional sports. Hey thanks ESPN.
Now, I do like ESPN. But they seem to run with any rumor to try and get ratings. I am guessing within a year it will be ESPN SportsCenter sponsored by TMZ. They seem more interested in reporting about Matt Leinhart hanging out and partying with hot chicks than the actual games.
Just for future reference, ESPN will be leading off all of its Sports Center broadcasts with Barry Bonds, Brett Favre, Jose Canseco, Roger Clemens, Brian McNamee and Jessica Simpson. All who are not currently playing any professional sports. Hey thanks ESPN.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Blog Commenters Manifesto, Part 2
We are now onto part two of Blog Commenter's where i break down each type of blog commenter that you will see. Basically i am grouping anyone who comments on a blog into about 30 or so groups. Here are #6-10. (Part 1 can been seen here)
The Bad Spellar Guy
These are not just someone who mistypes a word by accident. They misspell several words and you can tell they are trying to spell them right. You can almost see them sounded it out in there head and getting: Cuncosshen, Fateeged, Intersepcion or Dubel Dribbel. These are some of the funniest post you will find.
The Personal Comment To The Player Or Team Guy
These are the guys that pop up usually during a tragedy or if a player is down for some reason. There posts normally consist of "Hey Darrell, My Family and I are Thinking of you. Go (insert sucky team)" or "My (sister, mother, friend, wife) went through the same things and you are in our prayers". This person actually believes that the athlete reads all the comments on all the blogs and say "Boy, Dan from SLC really put things in perspective in regards to my enlarged gonads". This person spends a lot of time going back to this same blog post and reading the comments hoping the player responds directly to him.
The "Disrespected" Guy
I think i hate this guy the most. He has taken this new phase where every athlete thinks their team is disrespected and now applied it to himself like he is part of the team. He usually starts all of his posts "Why does everyone disrespect MY team..." Actually thinks people are disrespecting him personally. I cant talk about this (cough, cough, Boston) guy anymore.
The Copy and Paste Guy
This guy usually has read some stat or some other story about this blog post and basically copy and paste it into his comment and try to pass it off on his own. These people are not very bright because they usually use the quote from some other writer on the same site or from the actual post. They rarely can form their own opinions in social situations and often contradict themselves when they read two differing opinions from two different stories as they get confused. This happened a lot during the Santana sweepstakes when Boston fans would comment with one opinion for him and then the next day switch their opinion when they read another columnist with a different opinion.
The Guy Who Just Posts They Are First to Comment
These people have no use in society or to the story. All they write is "First" or "1st". So basically they sit around all day and look for stories that no one has commented on yet and go type "1st". Hey congratulations, this is the first time you have been first since the short bus picked you up for school and you know how to type "1st" And really it isn't even a comment on the story, since they rarely are able to read the stories.
The Bad Spellar Guy
These are not just someone who mistypes a word by accident. They misspell several words and you can tell they are trying to spell them right. You can almost see them sounded it out in there head and getting: Cuncosshen, Fateeged, Intersepcion or Dubel Dribbel. These are some of the funniest post you will find.
The Personal Comment To The Player Or Team Guy
These are the guys that pop up usually during a tragedy or if a player is down for some reason. There posts normally consist of "Hey Darrell, My Family and I are Thinking of you. Go (insert sucky team)" or "My (sister, mother, friend, wife) went through the same things and you are in our prayers". This person actually believes that the athlete reads all the comments on all the blogs and say "Boy, Dan from SLC really put things in perspective in regards to my enlarged gonads". This person spends a lot of time going back to this same blog post and reading the comments hoping the player responds directly to him.
The "Disrespected" Guy
I think i hate this guy the most. He has taken this new phase where every athlete thinks their team is disrespected and now applied it to himself like he is part of the team. He usually starts all of his posts "Why does everyone disrespect MY team..." Actually thinks people are disrespecting him personally. I cant talk about this (cough, cough, Boston) guy anymore.
The Copy and Paste Guy
This guy usually has read some stat or some other story about this blog post and basically copy and paste it into his comment and try to pass it off on his own. These people are not very bright because they usually use the quote from some other writer on the same site or from the actual post. They rarely can form their own opinions in social situations and often contradict themselves when they read two differing opinions from two different stories as they get confused. This happened a lot during the Santana sweepstakes when Boston fans would comment with one opinion for him and then the next day switch their opinion when they read another columnist with a different opinion.
The Guy Who Just Posts They Are First to Comment
These people have no use in society or to the story. All they write is "First" or "1st". So basically they sit around all day and look for stories that no one has commented on yet and go type "1st". Hey congratulations, this is the first time you have been first since the short bus picked you up for school and you know how to type "1st" And really it isn't even a comment on the story, since they rarely are able to read the stories.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Opening Day Winners and Losers
A quick look at the winner's and loser's for each of the opening day games (and no, i don't count Boston opening in Japan as opening day even though Boston fans believe the world revolves around them)
Toronto @ Yankees (Ppd Rain)
Winner: Everyone. A day without Yankees or Red Sox baseball means all the other teams have a shot to get on Sports Center for at least 5 seconds as ESPN still spends 15 minutes bringing up stats on the last time both the Yankees and Red Sox didn't play on the same day.
Loser: Yankee fans, always Yankee fans.
Kansas City 5, Detroit 4
Winner: Kansas City. April 1st is the latest they have been in 1st place since 1979.
Loser: Detroit "Most Feared" Batting Lineup. Unless they are referring to the hitters actually fearing the baseball as they struck out 11 times. Also, a most feared lineup does not, I repeat, does not ever include Jacque Jones.
Tampa Bay 6, Baltimore 2
Winner: Brian Roberts. He went 2 for 2 with 2 walks and a stolen base. This makes him the only player on the team with any trade value and thus he has a chance to get out of Baltimore before their 120th loss (which will be sometime in Mid-May)
Loser: Jeremy Guthrie. He has set the bar pretty high for other Oriole pitchers, which i am sure they will resent him for, with him pitching 5.1 innings and only giving up 5 runs.
Cleveland 10, Chicago 8
Winner: CC Sabathia. Made it through 5.1 innings without ordering a pizza.
Loser: Mark Buehrle. 37.80 ERA dangerously close to passing the IQ of his manager.
Seattle 5, Texas 2
Winner: K Fukumori. I don't care if your ERA is over 81. If your named Fukumori you are a winner in my book.
Loser: Ichiro Suzuki. Continues to look for his first hit of the year (including spring training).
Minnesota 3, Anaheim 2
Winner: Carlos Gomez. One of the key cogs in the Johan Santana trade had 2 hits, 2 SB's and scored two runs. Advantage Twins as i don't think Johan did any of those things yesterday.
Loser: Jered Weaver. Takes the loss for the Angels. Looks like he needs some more seasoning at the Angels farm team Ridgemont High.
Arizona 4, Cincinnati 2
Winner: Ken Griffey Jr. Stats that matter so far: 1 game, 0 pulled hamstrings.
Loser: Cincinnati hitters. Your pitchers are batting 1 for 2, everyone else 2 for 27. That doesn't bode well. But that is what you risk when you lead off Corey Patterson, he is actually good for 6 outs each time through the batting order.
Milwaukee 4, Chicago 3
Winner: Eric Gagne. Even though he gave up 3 runs in the 9th inning, he did make it through the inning without being arrested for Panhandling.
Loser: Kosuke Fukudome. Sure, you will say he had 3 hits including a game tying 3 run home run in the ninth. I will say he he had 3 hits and the only time he didn't get out on the base paths (1 caught stealing and 1 pick off) was when he hit a home run. A 100% out on the base paths on hits that are not home runs is not a good percentage and he almost was called out on the base paths on his home run as he tried to run the bases backwards.
Washington 11, Philadelphia 6
Winner: Tom Gordon. Was somehow able to get the 1 out needed to only give up 5 runs in a 1/3 of an inning even though he is 67 years old and had to change his diaper 3 times during the outing.
Loser: Brett Myers. Hit two batters. Normally he only hits women.
Los Angeles 5, San Francisco 0
Winner: Joe Torre. After succumbing to pressure to start rookie Andre Ethier and seeing him go 0-4 with 6 runners left on base, he can now bench Ethier and start his overpriced worse veteran Juan Pierre like he is used to doing.
Loser: Barry Bonds. You must be one huge ass jerk of a teammate for the Giants not to resign you and instead trot out this lineup.
New York 7, Florida 2
Winner: Johan Santana. He makes about as much as the entire Florida payroll and i am pretty sure the Mets still would have won the game if they just only used Santana on defense.
Loser: Florida owner Jeffrey Loria. Pathetic attempt to field a competitive team, just pathetic. No wonder they don't have any fans. Loria should be banned from baseball.
Colorado @ St Louis (Ppd Rain)
Winner: St Louis fans. They get one more day before seeing their team suck all year.
Loser: Fans of the scrappy underdog. With Brett Favre retiring and Colorado's season opener being postponed, they are not having a good year so far.
Pittsburgh 12, Atlanta 11
Winner: Pittsburgh hitters. They matched their run total for all of last April after one game this year.
Loser: Pittsburgh hitters. They used up all their runs for the month and will probably get shut out for the rest of April, which will make it hard to win games, unless they play the Marlins.
San Diego 4, Houston 0
Winner: Jake Peavy. He may have something to say about Johan Santana already being given the Cy Young award by the writers. Like "It is an honor to finish 2nd to you Mr Santana"
Loser: Miguel Tejada. Without the steroids, he was only able to hit the ball a total of 14 feet in 4 AB's, though due to some new mystery drug that makes him have super speed he was able to get a single and a double as long as he didn't pop out to the catcher.
There is your recap of the first day of action.
Toronto @ Yankees (Ppd Rain)
Winner: Everyone. A day without Yankees or Red Sox baseball means all the other teams have a shot to get on Sports Center for at least 5 seconds as ESPN still spends 15 minutes bringing up stats on the last time both the Yankees and Red Sox didn't play on the same day.
Loser: Yankee fans, always Yankee fans.
Kansas City 5, Detroit 4
Winner: Kansas City. April 1st is the latest they have been in 1st place since 1979.
Loser: Detroit "Most Feared" Batting Lineup. Unless they are referring to the hitters actually fearing the baseball as they struck out 11 times. Also, a most feared lineup does not, I repeat, does not ever include Jacque Jones.
Tampa Bay 6, Baltimore 2
Winner: Brian Roberts. He went 2 for 2 with 2 walks and a stolen base. This makes him the only player on the team with any trade value and thus he has a chance to get out of Baltimore before their 120th loss (which will be sometime in Mid-May)
Loser: Jeremy Guthrie. He has set the bar pretty high for other Oriole pitchers, which i am sure they will resent him for, with him pitching 5.1 innings and only giving up 5 runs.
Cleveland 10, Chicago 8
Winner: CC Sabathia. Made it through 5.1 innings without ordering a pizza.
Loser: Mark Buehrle. 37.80 ERA dangerously close to passing the IQ of his manager.
Seattle 5, Texas 2
Winner: K Fukumori. I don't care if your ERA is over 81. If your named Fukumori you are a winner in my book.
Loser: Ichiro Suzuki. Continues to look for his first hit of the year (including spring training).
Minnesota 3, Anaheim 2
Winner: Carlos Gomez. One of the key cogs in the Johan Santana trade had 2 hits, 2 SB's and scored two runs. Advantage Twins as i don't think Johan did any of those things yesterday.
Loser: Jered Weaver. Takes the loss for the Angels. Looks like he needs some more seasoning at the Angels farm team Ridgemont High.
Arizona 4, Cincinnati 2
Winner: Ken Griffey Jr. Stats that matter so far: 1 game, 0 pulled hamstrings.
Loser: Cincinnati hitters. Your pitchers are batting 1 for 2, everyone else 2 for 27. That doesn't bode well. But that is what you risk when you lead off Corey Patterson, he is actually good for 6 outs each time through the batting order.
Milwaukee 4, Chicago 3
Winner: Eric Gagne. Even though he gave up 3 runs in the 9th inning, he did make it through the inning without being arrested for Panhandling.
Loser: Kosuke Fukudome. Sure, you will say he had 3 hits including a game tying 3 run home run in the ninth. I will say he he had 3 hits and the only time he didn't get out on the base paths (1 caught stealing and 1 pick off) was when he hit a home run. A 100% out on the base paths on hits that are not home runs is not a good percentage and he almost was called out on the base paths on his home run as he tried to run the bases backwards.
Washington 11, Philadelphia 6
Winner: Tom Gordon. Was somehow able to get the 1 out needed to only give up 5 runs in a 1/3 of an inning even though he is 67 years old and had to change his diaper 3 times during the outing.
Loser: Brett Myers. Hit two batters. Normally he only hits women.
Los Angeles 5, San Francisco 0
Winner: Joe Torre. After succumbing to pressure to start rookie Andre Ethier and seeing him go 0-4 with 6 runners left on base, he can now bench Ethier and start his overpriced worse veteran Juan Pierre like he is used to doing.
Loser: Barry Bonds. You must be one huge ass jerk of a teammate for the Giants not to resign you and instead trot out this lineup.
New York 7, Florida 2
Winner: Johan Santana. He makes about as much as the entire Florida payroll and i am pretty sure the Mets still would have won the game if they just only used Santana on defense.
Loser: Florida owner Jeffrey Loria. Pathetic attempt to field a competitive team, just pathetic. No wonder they don't have any fans. Loria should be banned from baseball.
Colorado @ St Louis (Ppd Rain)
Winner: St Louis fans. They get one more day before seeing their team suck all year.
Loser: Fans of the scrappy underdog. With Brett Favre retiring and Colorado's season opener being postponed, they are not having a good year so far.
Pittsburgh 12, Atlanta 11
Winner: Pittsburgh hitters. They matched their run total for all of last April after one game this year.
Loser: Pittsburgh hitters. They used up all their runs for the month and will probably get shut out for the rest of April, which will make it hard to win games, unless they play the Marlins.
San Diego 4, Houston 0
Winner: Jake Peavy. He may have something to say about Johan Santana already being given the Cy Young award by the writers. Like "It is an honor to finish 2nd to you Mr Santana"
Loser: Miguel Tejada. Without the steroids, he was only able to hit the ball a total of 14 feet in 4 AB's, though due to some new mystery drug that makes him have super speed he was able to get a single and a double as long as he didn't pop out to the catcher.
There is your recap of the first day of action.
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