I read a lot of sports blogs and almost all of them have a comment section where readers can post comments. Most of these comments fall under several categories (obviously i had to read other blogs to get these categories as i think i have had 7 comments total and i believe two of them have been in Portuguese - WhooHoo, I am huge in Portugal). So over my time reading these comments i have broken down these commenter's into several categories, and this is the first group that i need to make fun of: (and by guy i mean girl too)
The My Team Is Perfect Guy: This is one (along with the next one) of the most obvious and most frequent of commenter's. This guy will defend his team to no end. This guy can't believe how you can rank any other team over his team. It really doesn't matter where his team is ranked either. His team could be 1-10 but can't grasp the reality that his team is not ranked #1 in every single ranking on the whole net. They usually end their posts with a "GO (MY SUCKY TEAM)!!!!!
The My Team Can Do No Wrong Guy: Now you may think this guy is the same as the one above but he is not. This guy may realize that his team is not perfect but he will defend any move by his team and then at some point he will morph into the above guy. This is the guy that will defend the Rex Grossman resigning with things like "He throws a nice spiral, he will get it done this year." He will also defend any free agent signing or trade by his team by saying "I know PacMan Jones has had some troubles, but they weren't his fault. He just put himself in a bad situation and once he gets to (MY SUCKY TEAM) he is going to turn the corner. When in reality his QB will probably kill a fan with an errant throw and his town is about to have several more incidents per night at the strip club. This guy is highly delusional and actually thinks he is part of the team.
The Complete D-Bag (Boston Poster): Lets just get this out of the way. They used to be cute in their lovable loser kinda way but now that they are winning they are smug punk d-bags. They usually claim that you are just jealous of their team when in all reality they are just jealous of people who leave their home and have friends. Now half of them are bandwagon jumpers who love the Lakers, Cowboys, Spurs, Red Wings, Colts, or whoever is winning the title that year. Anyways, 'Nuff Said.
The Guy Not Bright Enough to Formulate a Full Sentence: This guy usually just posts "Go Packers!" or "LT Rules". Yeah, thank you for your insight, I now think LT Rules and Packers are my favorite team. Three step program for you: 1. Learn to Read. 2. Read the actual story/blog post. 3. Form a Sentence. I think it is a 10-year program.
The Guy Who Thinks he is the Next Matt Millen: This guy treats his posts like he is actually making the transactions, and in his mind he probably is. He really thinks that he can get Carson Palmer and Chad Johnson for a nickel back who just had an interception, a long snapper and a 7th round draft pick in 2016. He usually uses the words "His trade value has never been higher" and "The other team would be foolish not to make this deal" This guy probably plays way too much Madden and other sports video games in season mode. His reality is our video game enjoyment.
OK, i have over 30 of these so i am going to do them in sets of 5.
Friday, February 29, 2008
Blog Commenters Manifesto - Part 1
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