Headlines - 6/20/07

Time for another Headlines column, as i know it is popular in Indonesia and the Cayman Islands. Just starting to get back into this after the wedding and honeymoon, hey, at least i am not writing about hugs and bunnies and stuff like that. So here it is:

And The Golfer goes Wie Wie Wie All The Way Home:

Michele Wie has decided to skip the men's John Deere Classic tourney due to the fact she is shooting somewhere in the 80's on the Women's tour and is afraid of deer, i mean a wrist injury. You know what would have been awesome, if she tried to qualify for the US Open this year again and made it, then shot a record 168 over par for two rounds, hey, she got to play with the men and set a record...not bad...

Twins find solution to their hitting woes:

In Interleague Play last night, not only did Johan Santana throw a complete game shutout, he laced a double down the right field line. The only issue is that he ran like Barry Bonds during a groundo...well during any play. He could have easily had a triple and tied Matt LeCroy for most unlikely Twin to get a triple ever.

Pacman...uggghhh:

OK, he got his sentence from the NFL, he could be reinstated after week 10 and still probably make $300k for the year for 6 weeks for work, as long as he stays on the straight and narrow (and by that i don't mean fired shots). So what is his thought process. "Maybe i will call up my posse, head to the strip club for just a few hours, i miss the strip club, that was a one time incident and i got away with it, whoa another patron is looking at a girl in a strip club, lets go posse, scare him a little bit, dont knock over his walker, i don't want the girls to see me as insensative as i beat this guy for looking at girls in a strip club" So a day passes and felony charges from Vegas and questioning from police in this shooting incident. If someone offered me 300k to stay away from strip clubs until November, i think i would take it (at least i could sneak in during the day cause all the bad stuff seems to happen after midnight)

"Athlete Crimes" Next On Geraldo...(shots fired at Geraldo)....Crowd Cheers:

- The Bengals Quincy Wilson was arrested for disorderly conduct at a wedding, you have to give him some slack for not being at a strip club for his crimes, he is basically a Special Teams player and doesn't know any better.
- Meanwhile, Ronnie Wilson, a redshirt freshman for the National Champion Florida Gators, has decided he wants to play for the Bengals by spitting on someone in a nightclub and then running to his car and firing a shotgun into the air, Bengal Coach Marvin Lewis has already sent 2 scouts to track his progress next year and plans to send up to 15 interns to Gainesville after each home game win to each strip club within 15 miles.
- David Lighty, a B-Ball player for OH State, pleaded guilty for shooting a jogger with a BB Gun, I would say, he needs to work his way up to the big leagues, but really, who hasn't shot a jogger with a BB Gun? With their too tight upper outfit (or completely unnecessary topless attire), biker shorts or short shorts, fanny pack and socks up to the knees, i am surprised they aren't shot at, pelted with fruit, or arrested by police for indecent exposure. It would be best for all of us.

Schilling Can't Handle Two Jobs:

The Red Sox have placed Curt Schilling on the 15-day Disabled List so he has more time to Blog. The Red Sox understand that the sometimes the $14 million they are paying a player sometimes isn't as lucrative at the $0 he receives from spewing his crap on his self-promoting site.

Two NBA "Stars" Want To Play Against 4th Graders:

It has been reported that both Kobe WhyPass and KG would both like to be traded to the weaker Eastern Conference. I guess they think that if Cleveland can get to the finals with one NBA ready player (Daniel Gibson), that they can get there too and lose 4-0 to the West. I think the best situation would be Kobe going to the Bucks. One, cause he could hang on Sprewell's boat and Two cause the effort from all the players on the Bucks looking to get out of there not letting him touch the ball, i could see a wrestling/traveling call once a game. KG could go anywhere and they would be a contender in the East, and with McHale running the show he will probably trade him to Detroit for Flip Saunders.

OK, some other stuff with quick notes:

- Gruden looking at the rotating 7 QB offense with the rotation starting over again after an interception. If Jake Plummer signs i don't expect #4-7 to ever get a pass.
- Dick Butkis will be the coach of the Sacramento Kings in 3 years. The Kings new coach was replaced by Butkis on a TV show (if you can call it that on Saturday Morning, where they probably place the TV writers who have been in the industry for 40 years and have lost their touch and say stuff like, "Hey, a pie in the face would be funny, who wet my pants, i like fences, you know what would be funny, a pie in the face")
- Cub must have a series against the Padres soon: The Cubs traded Michael Barrett (aka, pitcher beater) to the Padres. Could be a good move if the Cubs play the Padres in the next month where he is able to fight at least 3 of their pitchers and get them suspended.

Alright, that is the headlines...more soon....