NFL Week 7 - What We Know

Alright, Week 7 of the NFL is now in the books, it is time to take a look at what we have learned:

Did Tarvaris Jackson Finally Admit That He Kinda Sorta Really Sucks?

Jackson was quoted along the lines of saying that he shouldn't be playing if he can’t control the ball. At the time he was referencing this because he might not play this Sunday (Go ahead and cheer Viking Fans) because of a broken finger on his throwing hand. But in reality he has to know that since he (as well as the defense, his receivers, the coaches and the fans) has no idea where the ball is going when it leaves his hand, even without the broken finger, that maybe he shouldn't be playing at all in the NFL, let alone a flag football game at the local beach. Seriously, it wouldn't surprise me if he was trying to hit a receiver 5 yards over the middle, and the ball went ten rows up into the stands, either on one of the sidelines or behind him, kinda like a foul ball.

Testeverde, “Our Bye Week Couldn't Have Come At a Better Time”

After being signed and practicing for 3 days and then playing a full game, 43-year old quarterback Vinnie Testeverde said, “This couldn't have come at a better time for me personally, the bye week. This way I will be able to nap, hit the early bird special for dinner and then hit the sack at 5:30 like my normal schedule. I should really be refreshed for the first series of our next game and then I am not sure. Oh what time is it, I have to get to bingo.” He then proceeded to get in his car and rear end a house. He was unhurt as he was only going 5 miles an hour while trying to peek over the steering wheel.

Bengal’s Ecstatic about WR Return

The Bengal locker room was buzzing for the first time this year with the anticipated return of WR Chris Henry. Said RB Kenny Watson “It has been pretty disciplined around here and that is not how we play our best as you can tell by our record. But not anymore, with Chris coming back, it is gonna get HOT in here. I can’t wait for the parties and the drugs and the guns to return to the locker room, we definitely “play” better unsupervised and Chris will make sure of that.” QB Carson Palmer could be heard screaming in the background, “When are the whores getting here Chris?” Even though he can’t play until after the Bengal’s 8th game, he was allowed to return to practice to get into game shape which I can only believe to mean get his crime level back to pre-suspension levels. Cincinnati police have increased their presence around the Bengal’s practice facility, “He may only start out with some jay-walking and speeding since he isn't in game shape yet, but by week nine we expect him to be at full strength and we should be looking at more serious crimes such shootings, buying elementary kids beer and an all out drugs and hooker parties. We will be ready”, said the Police Chief.

On one last note, while watching the World Series (shouldn't it be North American Series?) tonight. Could Fox possibly squeeze in more promos and interviews that actually take away from the game cause that would be great. Holy Crap. I half expect Joe Buck to go in the first inning "Up next in the Taco Bell sponsored 2nd At Bat of the Inning brought to you by Buick and your local Buick dealers we have Matt Holiday, who when on the road stays at a Holiday Inn Express. His first swing will be brought to you by Menard's, where you will always save more money at Menard's and the first pitch of this at bat will be brought to you by an all new House next week where the doctor acts crazy and pretends he can act. Now here is my partner Tim McCarver who is sponsored by Viagra, Super Strength Greaser Hair Gel and Big Mouths of America, Tim..." and then Tim responding "Thanks Joe, we now turn the cameras back onto the field and while you were presenting the introduction and the camera was staring at us and the ads placed around the field the Rockies hit two HR's each in the first and third innings to take a 5 run lead into the sixth. We now break for commercials brought to you by Nationwide Home Insurance.

It has to STOP! We watch the game for the game, not for Chris Myers interviewing the Taco Bell COO and giving him Hot Sauce while he announces that "everyone" in America will receive a free 79 cent taco if you show up on October 30th at a Taco Bell between the times of 2:00 and 2:02 pm. As Chris Meyers states that this will cost millions???? Ummm, not many people can get to Taco Bell on a workday between the actual hours of 2-5pm.

Alright, more later