The Ultimate NL 2nd Half Preview

So baseball season is just over the halfway point, so it is time to preview the 2nd half, as I wait, being a resident of Mankato, Minnesota, for Brett Favre to come and mow my lawn. We are going to start with the NL or as they call it, the sucky, i mean senior circuit.

NL East:

Philadelphia Phillies: Rumor is that they are the front-runners in the Roy Halladay sweepstakes. I'm sorry, I must have missed it, but where do you buy tickets for the Roy Halladay sweepstakes? I could use some work around the house and think with his beard, he is probably quite handy. Prediction: NL East winners.

Atlanta Braves: How can a team with Greg Maddux, Tom Glavine and John Smoltz be hovering around .500? Oh, they don't still have them. Umm, they would be better if they did. Prediction: 2nd half tank job.

Florida Marlins: Somehow they are always in the mix even though they have a budget equal to the number of fans that show up for each game. $8. Prediction: Just misses the Wild Card.

New York Mets: They seem to have started their 2nd half collapse a little early. I guess that will allow New Yorker's a few extra months to talk themselves into Matt Sanchez. Prediction: Nowhere near the playoffs.

Washington Nationals: It is sad to see a franchise of 3 years suffer so long. What? They used to be the Montreal Expos? Oh, stop it. There is no baseball in Canada. That is a Curling nation. Prediction: Might win 6-7 games in the 2nd half.

NL Central:

St Louis Cardinals: There is talk that Albert Pujols might win the Triple Crown. I think that would be awesome as I have never seen a man beat a horse in a race, let alone three times. Prediction: Missing the playoffs.

Chicago Cubs: They spent alot of money in the off season and the results have been somewhat disappointing. I was sure Milton Bradley would have robbed all of the other players of their money by now but so far it has only been Fukudome, who has been robbing the franchise for a couple years now. Prediction: No playoffs here.

Milwaukee Brewers: Somehow they have remained in the chase even though Prince Fielder has eaten the city out of all their fruits and vegetables. They still have beer though. Prediction: Just miss the wild card.

Houston Astros: They used to be the Killer B's. But when the Killer B's are now Tim Byrdak, Geoff Blum, and Michael Bourn, I really don't like their chances. Prediction: Hanging out in Jeff Bagwell's basement playing PS3 in October.

Cincinnati Reds: Well, at least they get to see Bronson Arroyo air guitar. Prediction: Umm, they have a good shot at hitting a home run in the second half.

Pittsburgh Pirates: They come together despite the GM trading Jack Wilson and Freddy Sanchez to Atlanta for Jeff Francoeur. After Atlanta tells them they no longer have Jeff, the Pirates say, "Oh well, go ahead and keep them. Our bad." Prediction: Division Winners.

NL West:

LA Dodgers: There is a good chance that Manny will injure himself running to the bathroom while a ball is hit his way in left field. At the same time Scott Boras is run over by a tank. Not necessarily related but I can dream. Prediction: Running away with the division.

SF Giants: It is quite odd to say that a team's strength is pitching when they have Barry Zito on the roster, but with Lincecum, Cain, Johnson and Sanchez they have a good rotation. Only if Bengie Molina could recruit a few of his brothers to play, well several positions, they might be able to get a hit. Prediction: Just miss the playoffs by a hair on Randy Johnson mullet.

Colorado Rockies: They have just enough offense and pitching to make this division interesting. Not as interesting as paying Todd Helton $16 million a year, but still interesting. Prediction: Wild Card

Arizona Diamondbacks: Well, you have the best pitcher in baseball right now. Do you trade him? Do you keep him? I say trade him for Johan Santana just to blow the baseball minds with the question, Why? Prediction: Will be golfing by June...what, its already July. Ok, golfing by July.

San Diego Padres: You are only 21 games out. If your Adrian Gonzalez, do you have this struggle everyday as you drive to the stadium? Hmm, Beach or Ballpark? Prediction: 20 games behind at the end.