Headlines - 5/28/09

Back with some headlines before I continue on with the Sports Cities Rankings:

Tarkington to Favre: "You're A Doodyhead"

In a recent radio interview with a radio station Tarkington called Favre's act "despicable" and basically said he isn't very good anymore. Now, I agree with him on both points but what I find funnier is the media up in arms saying "Wait, you can't say anything bad about Brett! He was suppose to lick our bungholes later this week and I don't like it when he does it when he is mad". And make no mistake about it, Favre is the reason the Jets missed the playoffs last year. The media is excusing him saying he had a torn muscle but you know what, if you have a torn muscle in your throwing arm, pitch your giant ego where it belongs, with the manure on your farm, and let another capable QB play and win a game. That's all it would have taken, 1 game for them to make the playoffs.

Plaxico Not Only a Moron, But Also a Little Bit Delusional

From Shutdown Corner (link at the right), Plaxico Burress has turned down a deal for two months in jail and 1500 hours of community service. Normally when this happens, you end up getting more time unless you are actually innocent. Now, I am no expert, but if Plaxico thinks he is innocent, maybe he needs to look at the scar on his leg from where he shot himself. What is his defense going to be, "Ummm, judge, I don't know how that bullet got there, but I know I didn't have no gun in that nightclub". The evidence is in your freaking leg. Now maybe I am giving him to much credit to start with since he was the person who made the actual decision of, "Hmmm, I am heading out to the nightclub tonight, better bring my gun. Ok, it is loaded, better not put the safety on in case there is trouble. What would be best to support my gun and still look good for that ladies...ohh yea...sweatpants...that should work".

Tom Brady is Throwing a Football. ESPN to put all Reporters on Masturbatory Alert.

So rumor is that Tom Brady threw a football in the rain today. And this is a story how? His injury was in his leg, so i am assuming he could still throw a football, if he were a punter this might be a different story. And who cares if it was raining, why is this part of the story...oh I know why. Scene: ESPN reporter at NE practice, "Oh, here he comes onto the field...oh my god, oh my god, maybe I can get his autograph. What is that huge light behind him, is he an angel? Yes he is. Wait, what's that...ohhhh...its starting to rain, oh his t-shirt is getting wet and the rain is glistening off his face..." ESPN reporter drops pants. End Scene.

Breaking Report: Idiot Fans have Access to the Internet

So, some fan has started a website devoted to electing Manny Ramirez into the All-Star game. I have never been against getting rid of the fan vote, it sometimes sends undeserving players to the all star game from Boston and New York but if that is what the fans want to see, that's fine with me. This case has now changed my mind, the fan vote needs to be taken away. If he gets voted in after missing 50 games for cheating, then enough is enough. The all-star game is for players who have actually played this year for more than a few games. This fan is an idiot thinking he is now the news, what a d-bag. In a related story, The Red Sox dropped Ortiz to 6th in the batting order. Lets take a look at this quick. Ortiz plays for the Twins, he sucks and they let him go. Boston picks him up and he meets Manny (who is now 100% without a doubt a steroid using cheater) and he becomes superhuman. Manny leaves for the Dodgers and Ortiz sucks again. Coincidence, I think not. Or maybe he has taken Manny's work ethic and decided to quit on the team until he gets traded.

Joe Paterno would give Notre Dame The Bird if he Remembered which Finger to Use.

Joe Paterno has said that Notre Dame is not welcome in the Big Ten. I am not sure why as it would mean a win each year for each of teams in the Big Ten that would play them. Here are some other quotes from Joe's press conference:

"Butter tastes good on my wood shed"
"Who are you, Why am I here?
"That Ethel Javonski gave good hummers. We are going to the sock hop tonight and then maybe watch Happy Days. Maybe I will get one."
"I like Buses"
"Donkey, Horse! Donkey, Horse! Donkey, Horse?"
"Have you seen my baseball?"
"Forty, could wanna breakfast make tower in beach if electricity bottle"