Due to recent decline in the interest in the NBA All-Star Weekend and the recent comments made by Tyrus Thomas regarding the dunk contest, David Stern announced today some drastic changes to All Star Weekend. Instead of the Dunk Contest, 3-point shooting contest, the skills challenge and the rookie-sophomore challenge, they will now offer the following events to spice up the weekend:
1. Strip Club Shoot-Out: Each team will send one player and two members of their posse to a remote strip club location. Each member will be allowed to have one weapon in their car. Once at the strip club, there will be an open bar, but only one stripper that the guys must vie for her "attention". Last person standing wins. Though they have traded away some of their best players for this event, Indiana is still the favorite.
2. Paternity Skills Challenge: Each player will be presented with a groupie that claims their child is the players. The player must then talk the girl out of requiring him to submit a DNA test. Maury Povich will be the celebrity referee and score the event
3. 12th Man Game: It will pit East vs West, as each team sends the player with the most bench time to play in an all star weekend game. Points will be scored as follows:
10 pts - Each made basket
7 pts - Hitting the rim
5 pts - Dribbling 5 times in a row without losing control of the ball
3 pts - Every awkward High-Five where you miss the other guys hands
1 pt - Every missed dunk where you barely reach the rim
Games will be played to 25 and will last no longer than 2 hours
4. Carmelo Anthony Sucker Punch and Run Challenge: This will be played right before the actual All-Star game as guys are warming up. Any sucker punch that results in an all out brawl will be worth 50 pts, if you are able to backpedal away without any of the opposing team touching you, you are awarded a 25 point bonus and if a fight spills into the stands you are awarded another 25 point bonus. The conference with the most points at the end of warmups wins.
I think this will make the weekend more exciting and get bigger names to participate without whining.
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