KC Getting Their Drunk On

It was reported this week that Torii Hunter of the Twins sent over 4 bottles of champagne to the KC Royals, for the fact that they swept the Tigers last year in the last week of the season which assisted in the Twins winning the Central. Well this is in violation of the MLB (No Fun League - oh wait that is the NFL) rules about sending gifts to the competition. Though it was harmless and the champagne was returned after the rules were told to Torii and GM Terry Ryan, there are still some lesser known violations of this rule throughout the past few years that seem to go by the wayside. Here is that list, and the payments:

Alex Rodriguez:

* $200 - To any player in his field of vision that doesn't make a little slapping motion while he bats.
* $12.99 Haircut coupon at Great Clips - To any player that gets his hair frosted to make him look cooler (2 coupons to those in the 2 cities where the networks broadcast "nationally" televised games, NY & Boston)
* 1 signed autographed picture of him and Jeter during a sleepover for any opposing fan that doesn't boo him and professes his love for him (Not for children under 16)

Barry Bonds:

* $35,000 per year - Any former teammate who claims they didn't see any head growth (current players exempt - as they are quite afraid of going to jail, as Barry seems to possess some sort of aura that makes people want to go to jail for him without any benefit)
* $10,000 - to each pitcher that throws one right down the middle of the plate
* $5000 - (additional) - if it is less than 75 mph and i hit it out
* $2000 - (additional) - If it is less than 75 mph and i foul it off cause i am too slow to catch up to it
* You owe me $10 Million if i should miss the pitch due to my slowness, and have to face the media, who are out to get me for no reason
* $20,000 - Any 1B that drops the throw to first as i jog to first base so i can be safe.

Kobe Bryant:

* $600 per game - any teammate who praise my leadership and how my missed FG's with 3 defenders in my face, are just me trying to get my teammates involved.
* $10,000 - To the guy in Game 2 who got his ankle near enough to me for me to fake an injury so i didn't have to endure the onslaught by Phoenix, and so my 5-13 night didn't turn into a 5-33 night.

Pacman Jones:

* $3000 - To any person from any team, or anyone in the USA who doesn't report anyone of my many crimes to come.

Yvelgny Kasporiniov:

* $1.20 - To anyone who watches our game
* $235 - To anyone who can find the Vs. channel without scrolling through the guide

OK, that is today's post...more to come this week...