WWKD - What Would Kobe Do?

After last nights loss to the Clippers, the Lakers, I mean, the Kobe's are in danger of losing a playoff spot. The Kobe's lost a 17 point lead in the 3rd quarter after the Clippers triple teamed him and he still decided to shoot instead of pass. The rest of his team pretty much stood around on offense as they knew they wouldn't get the ball. If i were them i would have stayed down on the other end, saved some energy for playing defense. But this begs the question: What would Kobe do if he played other sports, i would list some pro's and con's, but i cant imagine any pro's to Kobe being on your team:

Football:

What Kobe Would Want: My first guess is he would want to be QB so he could touch the ball every play. This wouldn't work out though as he would go to the line of scrimmage and act like Peyton and scream, "Kobe, Kobe, Kobe, On Two", thus tipping off the defense to the play.

What Would Probably Happen: He would be RB, he might be satisfied with the touches, but probably not, more than likely he would come back and steal the ball from the QB on any pass play, and don't get me started on what would happen on the RB Option Pass play, that's a 25 yard loss waiting to happen.

Best Case Scenario: He ends up being the holder for FG and XP. It would be fun to see him after each snap, take off and run while the K nearly breaks his leg. During game 2 i would think that the K would tackle him without trying to kick it and go all Gramatica on him.

Hockey:

What Kobe would want: Center, after each face off, he would drop down grab the puck and try to dribble towards the net, after told you cant do this and you don't need to dribble, he would probably still drop down and grab the puck, yet just skate towards the blue line and launch a 1.

What would probably happen: They stick him on Defense. After a save by the goalie, he collects the puck and tries to take it all by himself, never getting past their own blue line. Also, since he doesn't like being replaced, he refuses to leave the ice during line changes.

Best Case Scenario: After his own team realizes he doesn't pass, they inform Tie Domi that he said something bad about his sister and tell Kobe, "Your shooting a 3 and Tie is trying to block it, elbow him". End of Story.

Baseball:

What Kobe would want: Catcher, so he could touch the ball each play. Doesn't work out after the first 97mph pitch that hurts his hand, where Kobe goes to the mound and says, "Hey, just bounce pass it to me and i will run the bases and get a run."

What would probably happen: They throw him in right field. Any ball hit, he runs towards it and tries to get the ball. Problems ensue when the 2nd pitch of the game is fouled off and Kobe runs into the stands and steals the ball from a 6-year old kid named Nathan, and then runs across home plate. Ends up arguing with the umpire that he was fouled by the security guards and should get two free chances to run across home plate, he only makes one of them.

Best Case Scenario: Easy, HBP.

Other Sports:

Bowling: In a Friday night league, he runs up and down the lanes stealing balls and rolling them himself. After 2 hours, he still doesn't have 50 pts.

Golf: After teeing off first, leaves the tee box before the other player hits. After being informed that someone else needs to hit before he can go to his ball, he walks back to the tee box, pushes the guy aside with an elbow and hits his shot for him.

Curling: Set up as a sweeper, Kobe drops the broom and grabs the first rock thrown. He tries to hoist a 3- pointer but wrenches his back since he realizes the rock about 50 lbs.

NASCAR: Stays at the starting line as he searches the car for a ball. After not finding it he gets out of the car to look in the trunk and is smashed by the leader of the first lap.

AVP: Not used to the sand, Kobe is unable to jump up and grab the ball as his team get off to a 7-0 lead. Once he learns its easier to tackle players on his team to get the ball they end up losing 15-7, 15-0, 15-0.

Paintball: Kobe takes out all of his teammates first and then takes on the other team by himself, after being quadruple teamed, he fires up an ill-advised shot up in the air, instead of trying to hit the opponent.

So, there it is, not only is he bad for basketball, he might be worse for other sports.