NHL, Where You At?

With the 3 (soon to be 2 with this NBA thing) major sports all involved in some sort of scandal and grabbing all the headlines, this is a prime opportunity for the NHL to have a scandal of its own to get back into the news.

Now hopefully this Staahl brothers bachelor party misdemeanor arrests for drunk and disorderly during a bachelor party wasn't all that they could come up with. I could see the NHL “brain” trust in a recent meeting calling the brothers and saying “Hey, you have a bachelor party coming up right? Get drunk and create some controversy.” And then the brothers came up with, “After we get kicked out of our hotel let’s go scream at cars” Lame, that isn't even Soccer lame, that’s Equestrian lame.

So here are a few ideas to get the NHL back in the news either via scandal or some other attention grabbing stunt and try to reclaim their spot as the 4th major sport in the US.

1. There most recent semi-scandal was the whole gambling ring that former player/coach Rick Tocchet had going. And if memory serves me, sometimes it doesn't due to repeated girly slaps to the head by A-Rod, wasn't Wayne Gretzky wife involved with that too. Since she is a former “actress”, is somewhat hot, and is the wife of most famous hockey player ever, a scandal involving her would be perfect. So, with her gambling problem it is pretty obvious what needs to be done, a current NHL player needs to sleep with her. Preferably some greasy, curly haired mullet wearing dude, oh wait that is all of them.

2. Didn't they have a female goalie in the minors awhile back? Well, even if they didn't it would be a good idea to try it, and have her at the NHL level. There are several really good female goalies at the collegiate and national level, you could take one of them but qualifications are overrated when you are trying to get headlines so I suggest Pamela Anderson. She’s Canadian so she must like hockey and from what I have heard (or seen) she really knows how to handle a stick. Throw her on the Blackhawk’s (not literally), they couldn't do any worse.

3. Teach David Beckham how to skate. That would definitely grab headlines but I think we take it one step further and have the current coach for whatever team he signs with (probably Nashville cause he likes the spotlight) kidnap his wife. The purpose of this would be twofold. One, it would grab worldwide attention and two, it would save the world from the planned Spice Girls reunion tour for which we all would be thankful, since we all know that they play all their music live and not lip-synched and therefore need all 5 girls or it just wouldn't work, like the Stones without Keith Richards back when he was alive as they haven’t been the same since. Wait, he is still alive? I thought that was a wax museum picture of him.

4. Promote Sidney Crosby like there is no tomorrow, well for the NHL maybe there isn't. The name Sidney is popular right now with that Sydney from the Alias show, Sydney, Australia I heard is pretty hot and Sidney Ponson, who could be a perfect ambassador for hockey. Not only cause he is greasy, but because he is fat and greasy which I think is a requirement to be an ambassador.

OK, tomorrow we will be touching on the KG trade from my T-Wolves to the Celtics….