Fantasy Baseball Review, Part I

Since this was originally a fantasy sports humor site, i thought maybe i should post some actual fantasy related stories (that don't involve Jessica Alba). So here is my Surprises (S) and Disappointments (D) from the first month of the MLB season, in relation to fantasy. Today is the AL East and Central review, tomorrow we will tackle the AL West and NL East.

AL EAST

Baltimore:

S: Jon Knott - The guy has a 2.300 OPS, a .750 BA while playing left field for 2 games. Their regular LF is Jay Gibbons who is hitting a solid .188, it is obvious this guy needs to play. Plus his name is Knotts, so i am sure there will be a lot of entertainment value from announcers when they say "Could be a base hit, NOT!!!" Good times
D: Jaret Wright - Has started three games, pitched 10 innings with a 6.97 ERA. Who would have thought these kind of stats from a former Yankee pitcher?

Boston:

S: JD Drew - For the first time in 7 years he has 94 AB's. Gotta like that.
D: Dice K - A 5.45 ERA, which for a $100 million seems a little high. Perhaps Boston shouldn't have let him hang out with Chan Ho Park after he arrived in America.

NY Yankees:

S: Mariano Rivera - 8.38 ERA, look like he is auditioning for #2 starter in the Yankee rotation.
D: Roger Clemens - Signs for about 4 million per month and look at his stats: 0 wins. Not sure that is what the Yankees bargained for, but i guess with the Yankees they don't know what the word bargain means (ie. Carl Pavano)

Tampa Bay:

S: James Sheilds - So far he is 3-0 for Tampa (read that line again) with 45 K's in 43 IP and a 3.74 ERA. But seriously, James? How about Jimmy or Jamie or Jim, that's more of a ball players name. James sounds like the convict you have sweeping the aisles after the game.
D: Elijah Dukes - First and foremost he is a disappointment because he hasn't impaled an umpire with his bat yet. But also 4 HR's and only 6 RBI's, must have attended A-Rod's batting camp this winter.

Toronto:

S: Royce Clayton, Matt Stairs, Gregg Zaun - Their still alive? and putting up numbers?
D: BJ Ryan - 12.46 ERA for a closer is not what you want, but i am sure the GM will call it a hangnail.

AL CENTRAL

Chicago:

S: Scott Podsednik - A tiny little girl leads Dye, AJ, Konerko and Crede in OPS. I think it has to do with the little doll he carries in his stroller as he rounds the bases and no one wanting to touch him.
D: AJ - Just cause he's a jacka**

Cleveland:

S: CC Sabathia - He has a 5-0 record with a 3.45 ERA. But the most amazing stat is that he is able to throw an average of 104 pitches per game while scarfing down 36 Krispy Kremes, 7 enchilada's and 5 bowls of chicken fat soup in between innings.
D: Shin-Soo Choo - Only played in 6 games, we need more opportunities to hear "Choo with a double, so i guess that is a Choo Choo!"

Detroit:

S: Todd Jones - He has kept his job is the biggest surprise, also he has 12 saves, but i am pretty sure most of those are because he had a hair frosting appointment after the game and wanted to get out of there.
D: Gary Sheffield - .218 BA, but still has 25 runs compared to 13 RBI's and also has 5 SB's. Obviously he has decided to inject the steroids into his legs instead of his arms at this point in his career.

Kansas City:

S: Tony Pena Jr - Someone from Tony Pena's genes should not have 4 triples. I will not argue about this.
D: Alex Gordon - Rookie sensation off to a tough start with a .175 BA and 32 K's in 97 AB. Of course the BA is high for the team and the SO rate is low for the team.

Minnesota:

S: Carlos Silva & Ramon Ortiz - They have gone 5-4 combined and both have better ERA's than Johan Santana. I can only attribute this to the fact that batters don't like looking at how ugly they are and just swing so they can go back to the dugout.
D: Nick Punto - I know most people drafted him hoping for your normal 3B stats but he hasn't lived up other 3B powerhouse's as he has no home runs. He is making some adjustments and hopes to hit one in 2009.

OK, first two divisions down, i will tackle the AL West and NL East tomorrow.