Inside The Spurs Huddle

I have recently received a transcript of the conversation that happened inside the San Antonio Spurs huddle during the timeout right before Robert Horry's malicious foul against Steve Nash at the end of Game 4 between the Suns and the Spurs. Here it is:

(Players huddle around Coach Popovich (Poppy from now on))

Poppy: OK guys, we just blew a huge lead in a matter of minutes, so we need do what we do best...

Bruce Bowen: Do i finally get to kill someone on the court?

Poppy: For the tenth time tonight Bruce, no. Maybe if we go to overtime. No, its play dirty, now i am thinking we hip check that Canadian guy who is killing us back to Quebec. Who wants the part?

Bruce Bowen: ME! ME! ME! Pick me please!

Poppy: No Bruce, we need your Rebounds by knocking guys legs out from under them, your assists from kneeing guys in the nads and your steals created by tripping someone, now go sit down and chew on that dog bone.

Fabricio Oberto: I will do it sir!

Poppy: Sorry, Oberto, we don't have any other big men that are any good.

Tim Duncan: What about me I am good...and i would be glad to do it!

Poppy: Sorry Tim, i sometimes forget about you since you only speak to complain after committing a foul, and that is why we cant have you do it. You would probably complain to the officials that the blatant hip check was not a foul and you could get several technicals and be suspended several games.

Michael Finley: I will do it.

Poppy: Nope, not gonna work Michael. Your are the oldest and slowest player on the team, we need you to try and chase Nash around pretending like you are trying to foul him, even though it would take you about 60 minutes to catch him

Finley (mumbling): I'm faster than that Fabio guy on the team

Tony Parker: Oui, Oui...I'z well do it!

Poppy: I don't think so Tony. You would probably run away and surrender the City of San Antonio to Phoenix.

Francisco Elson: I will do it coach!

Poppy: Nope, we need your connections in the Netherlands to keep Timmy sedated...if we don't, who knows what will happen if he comes out of his pot buzz, though i guess our potato chip budget would go down. Hey where's Manu?

Jacque Vaughn: He is over there hitting on one of the dance team members. How about i do it coach?

Poppy: We cant afford to have you suspended. We need you for the 6 minutes a game when Tony goes and does the deed with Eva in the stands.

Brent Barry: What about me coach?

Poppy: HAHAHAHAHAHA...you sure are funny Brent.

Matt Bonner & Beno Udrich: We can do it coach, it would be nice to get some minutes!

Poppy: Who the hell are you two...ball boys? I don't recognize either of you, so no. I guess that leaves you Horry. Your big, your a cheap player, have no conscience and we probably wont need you until the last minute of game 7 anyways. Alright, ready break!

So that is how the play was decided.