NBA Draft Lottery Picks

Alright, now that the draft lottery has been determined, how are you feeling about that tanking now Boston, Memphis and Milwaukee? I will attempt to determine the picks for the lottery teams. This is of course under the assumption that NBA GM's are moron's, not much of an assumption I guess:

1. Portland Trail Blazers: Josh McRoberts, PF, Duke

With the Blazers history of drafting tall white guy bust's (Sam Bowie instead of Michael Jordan)over potential superstars, this is the obvious pick. Wait you say Sam Bowie wasn't white, whatever. The only better scenario here would have been if Tyler Hansborough from UNC would have declared cause then they could have got a bust and a thug at the same time.

2. Seattle SuperSonics: Yi Jianlian, PF, China

In Seattle's war room, a local Starbuck's without TV's, cause TV warps the mind and they would rather read about the first pick tomorrow in the New York Times, they select the big man from China. They skipped on Durant as they weren't sure which player Portland took, and didn't want to find out tomorrow that they selected the same guy, so they decided to go with the Asian guy, as Ichiro has been such a big hit in the Seattle community.

3. Atlanta Hawks: Mike Conley Jr, PG, Ohio State

The Hawks, not wanting to get ripped on by the media again for missing on a point guard, and assuming that Durant and Oden were gone, were at the podium before the Commish announced the second pick to hand their pick in. The Hawks were very impressed with Conley Jr's agent, Mike Conley Sr, and his tales of Conley Jr's dribbling skills when he was just 2 years old.

4. Memphis Grizzlies: Glen Davis, PF, LSU

Assuming Oden and Durant were already drafted, they didn't even have them on their board. They decided to go with the guy that will fit in with the city and its famous BBQ. Who better than the 290 lb Davis.

5. Boston Celtics: Spencer Hawes, C, Washington

Danny Ainge, tired of all the Boston fans whining and complaining, decides to draft the big guy out of Washington. This of course is because he feels that half of the Celtic fans will off themselves and therefore be unable to complain (well that isn't proven, they still might be able to complain after they are dead, knowing the Boston sports fan) and therefore it might save his job.

6. Milwaukee Bucks: Joakim Noah, Wuss, Florida

This pick is two fold: 1.) The Bucks are fond of tall skinny guys with high picks (Andrew Bogut) and 2.) Milwaukee is a community that really takes to skinny fancy boys.

7. Minnesota Timberwolves: Roy Hibbert, C, Georgetown

GM Kevin McHale, showing his prowess as not only a GM and a draft guru, but also his lack of knowledge on how to turn on his computer, drafts Hibbert, who said he was returning college and therefore not eligible for the draft.

8. Charlotte Bobcats: Larry Johnson, PF, UNLV

The GM, finally realizing that Charlotte still has a franchise with about 14 seconds to go on the clock, screams out Larry Johnson, as that is the only player from Charlotte that anyone has ever known.

9. Chicago Bulls (via NY Knicks): Al Horford, PF, Florida

This was overheard in the Bulls war room, "It doesn't matter who we pick, either way we screw over Isiah Thomas and the Knicks" (room full of laughter). "OK, OK, throw all the prospects names into a hat, and i mean all prospects, even that guy down in personnel who has a sweet jump shot in our rec league." "And our pick is: Al Horford, well that worked out pretty well!" A room full of cheers ensues. "I wish we had a live camera of Isiah weeping right now", Random guy yells "Oh we do!"

10. Sacramento Kings: Sean Williams, C, Boston College

Looking to find a friend for Ron Artest to keep him happy, well at least non-psychotic, they go with the guy who has most in common with Artest. Which is criminal activities.

11. Atlanta Hawks (via Indiana): Acie Law IV, PG, TX A&M

Even though they drafted a PG with the 3rd pick, they want to make sure they don't screw up this PG thing again, and feel having 2 is better than 0 (which is what they had last year, kinda like being on the penalty kill for 48 minutes). And now with Mike Conley Jr and Acie Law IV, if they could just pick up Davis Love III in the 2nd round, they could have some cool jersey's.

12. Philadelphia 76er's: Al Thornton, SF, Florida St

Billy King, somewhat confused by his first name, Al, instead of AI, drafts what he thinks will be the next AI. Even though he is a small forward, hasn't put out a crappy rap album, and lacks a criminal record.

13. New Orleans Hornets: Kevin Durant, SF, Texas

To try and show their incompetency, and hopefully get to move to another city, the Hornets send up the Durant pick to the podium fully expecting that he had already been picked. Little did they know that there were 11 less competent GM's out there and they now get Durant to lead their lineup of, ummm, well guys who can bounce a ball.

14. LA Clippers: Ante Tomic, C, Croatia

GM Elgin Baylor defends the pick as the best player available, even though Greg Oden is still on the board. He claims, "Seriously, say it, Ante Tomic, hehehehehe, no, no, he is the best player, Ante Tomic, hahahahaha, OK stop, stop!"

So those are the "GM's are Moron's" prediction for the lottery picks. As i side note, Greg Oden goes undrafted and is finally picked up by San Antonio and they put him in the NDBL league for further development until Tim Duncan retires, as the rest of the Celtic fan base offs themselves.