Fantasy Football NFC West Preview

Alright, this is the last of 8 installments breaking each team’s fantasy sleepers, busts and a former player/fantasy stud that they wish they still had and you wish was still playing. We will now move onto the NFC South:

Arizona Cardinals: Everyone seems to think that this is Arizona’s year and they are destined to make the playoffs for the first time since 1922. The only thing I am sure of is that the post game press conferences will be less entertaining now that they have a coach who doesn't have such a loose interpretation of the English language.

Sleeper: Matt Leinart – Oh wait, Sleeper, I thought this said sleeps with half of the local campus and cheerleaders.

Bust: Kurt Warner – This former league MVP decision making skills have diminished as he still chooses to sleep with this. I can understand when you’re an Arena League QB that this might be considered some sweet tail, but once you graduate to the NFL, its time to upgrade to maybe something like this.

Former Player: Jake “Pornstache” Plummer – The prototypical Arizona QB. Throws interceptions at an alarming rate – check. Ability to run for his life due to an Arizona offensive line made up of mostly recruits from Fat Camp – check. Looks and/or is homeless – check.

Cheerleaders

St Louis Rams: They used to make fun of the Rams for having the only woman owner. But she acquired the team like most other female owners have since I believe, by marrying the current owner and somehow have him end up dying mysteriously aka killing him.

Sleeper: Leonard Little – I just put him on here just in case he happens to go out to the bars in my town this year and then get behind the wheel. I think karma is as good as any other reason to pick a sleeper, even if he doesn't play a position that most fantasy leagues draft.

Bust: Isaac Bruce – You can tell a player is starting to get a little old when they have a Jheri-curl combover, played for the Rams when they were still in LA, and is nicknamed “The Reverend”. But on a more positive note, he does have his own Blog, so unlike most old people he has figured out this Internet thing.

Former Player: Elroy “Crazy Legs” Hirsh – There are worse nicknames that someone named Elroy could have than Crazy Legs, like actually being called by your first name.

Nummy

San Francisco 49ers: The Chicago Bears once had the famous song “The Super Bowl Shuffle” and in response the 49ers put out their own version called “We’re the 49ers”. It was a huge hit in the SF area when it re-made and released as a single by Boy George, George Michael and Senator Larry Craig.

Sleeper: Vernon Davis – I believe the University of Miami created major’s just for the football players as Vernon was an Art Studio Major, not an Art Major, but an Art Studio Major. So you don’t actually have to create an art, basically just be able to find where the art studio is. I am guessing it took most of the team their full 4 years to find it. It obviously didn't help him with this

Bust: Ashley Lelie – May have the best website by a monumental bust in the history of the NFL. I wonder if there is an award for that. If not, it should be called the Ashley Lelie Award.

Former Player: Jerry Rice – Even though he holds every receiving record known to man and is widely regarded as the best WR ever, his life won’t be considered a success since he was unable to win the one award he most coveted: Dancing with the Stars champion. Well he could come back to the Niners and have Ashley Lelie be his partner since she is a chick and all.

Cheerleaders

Seattle Seahawks: Not sure what to say about the Seahawks, so i will just say Jim Zorn. Go ahead and say it, its kinda fun. Also, you know the team hasn't been around that long when Brock Huard is in your record books.

Sleeper: Matt Hasselback - Now i am going against my better judgement hear, seeing that he has a brother who is married to a girl who is on The View and was on Survivor, two of the greatest evils going on today. I think he might, just might, be able to break George Blanda's record of oldest looking player in the NFL.

Bust: Shaun Alexander - Can't really trust a liar. He claims both he and his wife were virgins when they married. Yeah right. An NFL player a virgin is like saying I really want Brady Quinn as my QB. And obviously marriage has changed them as in the year after they got married they posed for SI's Swimsuit Edition, which was the least selling Swimsuit Edition ever since it contained dudes and well virgins.

Former Player: Brian Bosworth - Two things i take from this link is one, look at that lineup of talent that this agency supports, with talent like Angus Hamilton, Archie Manning, and MaryLou Retton, this talent agency must be pulling in a cool 6-7 dollars a year. And two, you can hire him for speaking engagements? What is the topic: "How to be a complete A-hole and throw away your career". Yeah sign me up.

Umm, i am thinking Seattle is taking this Ichiro popularity a little too far

Alright, back with regular stories this week...