NFL Week 3 - What We Know

Week 3 is in the books, here is what we have learned:



This QB that GB got is pretty darn good:



This young kid has GB off to a 3-0 start this year, even with RB's who seem to think that games are won a 1/2 yard at a time. This QB is much better than the guy they have had the past few years who lit up the skies with interceptions. Good thing for GB, that that guy finally retired or at least i think he did, he had 45 retirement news conferences so he must have retired at one of them and GB brought on this new guy who, well doesn't throw interceptions faster than Lindsay Lohan can say "No, Nooooo...I is OK to driiive...I'll juuust put the cocaine in my pocket...they will never look theere!"



Oakland Get 1st Win since 1996



The Raiders were able to secure their first victory of the decade when they were able to awaken Kicker Sebastian Janakowski for a 48 yard FG in the 4th quarter which ended up being the game-winner. Normally, Janakowski couldn't be relied on by the Raider's as his is usually smashed by the 2nd quarter. Nothing changed in this game as he was smashed by quarter two but only had to kick a 22 & 23 yarder, one which banked off the goalpost 4 times before going through, and the other which ricocheted off his long-snapper's helmet and through the goalposts.



God still doesn't like Kurt Warner's Gay Marriage



After last week's "miracle" recovery of Jon Kitna to assist in the Lions win over NFL powerhouse, the Vikings, he focused his intentions on the Cardinal's this week as another devout follower took over the QB reigns. This time it was Kurt Warner, and even though he let him rally the Cardinals, they came up just short against the Ravens. This could be for one or two reasons. Maybe God doesn't approve of Kurt's gay marriage to Brenda, or, like everyone else, he is afraid of Ray Lewis.



Fantasy Football Fanatic seen on local roof with a sniper rifle.



After this past weekends rash of injuries to running backs and wide receivers, a local Cincinnati resident was seen climbing up on a roof with what appeared to be a sniper rifle. In a note to the press he claimed "I posted a question on ESPN's daily fantasy chats and it hasn't been answered. All i wanted to know was the condition of Rudi Johnson and if Kenny Watson was going to be a good pickup. I posted the question 1000 times in two hours with no answer. I know they say not to post more than once, but i needed this answered. They answered Brian from Lexington's question earlier in the chat with the same topic, but it wasn't phrased as good as mine and if i don't get mine answered, I can't tell my friends i got posted online at ESPN and thus catch up in our weekly pool of how many questions we can get answered to fill our need for recognition of obvious questions." As he was climbing up the roof he was heard shouting "Damn you TMR! Talented my Ass! I know you saw my question and it was the most important of the week. Damn you all to Hell!"



Mike Tomlin upset that he is 1 year too late.



Tomlin, the coach of the 3-0 Pittsburgh Steelers, is upset that he didn't get the reigns to the Steeler organization 1 year earlier so he could have had a chance to be involved in the first Super Bowl with two black head coaches. He is hopeful this year though that he can be involved in the first Black Head Coach vs a White Head Coach Who Actually Think Mustaches Are Still Hip in the Super Bowl should the Eagles, Vikings or the Seahawks make the Super Bowl.



Ok, that is it for this week, and as you can see i have left the Manning Dorks alone, as well as the NE Cheatriots...oh wait, i guess that mention means they are here, but i won't label them.