Fantasy Foursome - Group 1

Now that the exciting FedEx Cup has ended, we need a way to keep golf on the map as the mega rich golfers go on their 4 month vacations (oh wait, they might play golf 1 week during that time, whoa, grueling to have to play golf on your vacation). Anyways, a new feature here will be "Dream Foursomes", which will pit sports stars in the news and what would happen if they golfed together. The first one may be a little shoddy, but give it a shot (as i already have 5 lined up):

What if OJ Simpson, Isiah Thomas, Terrell Owens, & Bill Belichick played a round:

Tee Box, Hole 1

TO: Hey OJ, I understand your 60 and all, but who is that caddying for you?

OJ's Caddy: THIS IS AC!!! YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO I AM!!!!

Belichick (BB): I'll go first, don't mind the camera's. Whoa, shanked that one. Mulligan.

After 17 mulligans, BB finally hits one in the fairway.

BB: I think i will take that one, but let me review the film.

TO is next on the box and dribble's one barely past the ladies tee and goes into a wild celebration.

Isiah Thomas (IT): Dude, why do you celebrate like that, I only celebrate when i completely destroy a league, franchise or my life.

TO: All my fans need to know when to celebrate as they aren't real bright, kinda like when i get 9 yards on a 3rd and 13, they got to celebrate TO making a catch without dropping it, so I celebrate.

OJ stumbles out of the woods carrying a burlap sack that looks like it holds a body.

BB: Hey, what do you have in that sack OJ? A Spy?

OJ: No, No, No man. Its the prize for the winner. Its a married woman willing to do anything. My turn, AC give me my gun, i mean Driver.

OJ hits one into the woods, a pretty good hiding place.

IT: Hey, why can't i have a woman put the ball on the tee for me?

TO: Why do you need women, when you can have this? (Rips off shirt, does sit-ups)

Move forward to hole 7...

IT: Hey, here comes the beer bitch! Hey Bill, your not allowed to call her bitch, that is degrading.

Beer Cart Girl Arrives

BB: Are you married?

OJ: Hey Bill! You have my s**t, up against the wall #@$%&!

BB: Umm, there is no wall

IT: Hey woman, if you want a tip, maybe you should open my bottle if you know what i mean

TO: (Off in the distance doing a celebration dance) Hey look at me! Look at me!!!

Beer Cart Girl speeds off, but not before BB has taken 3 cases of beer, 25 Snickers and the steering wheel. She ends up driving straight into a tree and the golf cart goes into flames.

OJ: Bill, give me that steering wheel, i need to get my fingerprints on it so i can be on the cover of US Weekly and become relevent again!

We fast forward to them walking off of 18.

BB: Ok, what did everyone get for the day, I got an 18. Yep, hole in one on every hole.

TO: Wait we were keeping score, i haven't hit a ball since hole one. With all of Bill's camera's around, i was just doing celebration dances! You don't need to accomplish anything to do a dance! -1 yard gain? Celebrate cause the best WR caught a pass, need to celebrate.

IT: Well, i got a 69 if you know what i mean. Wait, there are no women around, let me save that joke.

OJ: Yo AC! Grab that burlap sack and put it on the hood. It is rush hour and all the traffic helicopter's are out!

Ok, that is the first installment, it might need a little tweaking but i think this will be a running column.