Fantasy Baseball ? (Question Marks)

Since this was originally a fantasy sports humor site and i have gone more towards Parody, i thought i might run a few posts regarding the upcoming Fantasy Baseball season. I guess trying to get back to my roots (well actually my roots are engrained in a small forest in the Netherlands, but that is neither here nor there).

So after i looked over ESPN's rankings of the top players at each position i decided to comment on the biggest risks among their top 15 at each position (top 30 for OF and SP) and make some comments.

C - Kenji Johjimi - Seattle: He is ranked #5. They predict him to have 17 HR's and 72 RBI's. Not bad numbers for a catcher. I think they made an error in their calculations though. Should he get 17 HR's, that would automatically include 17 RBI's for himself, and they are under the assumption that during the course of the year that Seattle will get 55 runners on base the rest of the year and that he will knock them all in. I think that is unreasonable expectations for this team.

1B - Jason Giambi - NYY: Right now they have him ranked #13 among first baseman. Not unreasonable (especially if your league is 12 teams and you are only allowed to select 1 first baseman on your roster). My issue here is they project 37 HR's for him. I guess he has Gary Matthew's Jr on his speed dial.

2B - Ray Durham - Giants: Ok, really, he's still alive? He is ranked #13. I think i have a baseball card of his from the 70's? The exception here is that they project 21 HR's for him (maybe Bonds has this green aura that exumes from his body of PED's that can be taken by other players nasally) and they also project 7 SB's for him (now maybe he does face Wang and his 37 mph fastball in interleague play, but he still needs to get on base and it has to be difficult to hit with a walker in front of you.

3B - Alex Rodriguez - NYY: He is ranked #1 among third baseman. He is projected with 40 HR's and 124 RBI's. To me this says that the experts believe that NY will be down by 10 or more runs a lot this year, and that is where Alex shines.

SS - Julio Lugo - Red Sox: He is ranked 13 among SS. This goes under the fantasy ranking rule that a Red Sox or Yankee must be listed in the top 15 at any position since they overpay for players, so they must be good. I cant think of any other reason why Lugo would be ranked above 38.

OF - Juan Pierre - Dodgers: This was viewed as one of the worst signings of the Hot Stove League (in all honesty, i have no idea why the offseason is named this. Is it because all of the players signed are cooked, or all of the GM's who sign them are baked...Ba Dum...i will be here all week). He is ranked 18 among OF's. Now my question is, does his stats count when everyone leaves after the 7th inning and noone is left to actually record it?

OF - TB OF's - Devil Rays: They had 3 OF's ranked in the top 30 (Crawford, 3; Young, 25; & Baldelli, 29). This might be the first time Tampa Bay has been ranked in the top 30 of anything since, ummm, well, hmmmm, # of old guys wearing white t-shirts, black socks and sandals. Just guessing.

OF - Manny Ramierez - Red Sox: Now i dont question Manny's position of #6 on the list. But that is is ahead of Grady Sizemore, one of the most complete players in the league. I think they were tied, until ESPN gave Manny a shot at 1 SB. My guess is that he will get a single, realize he has to pee and want to get as close to the Green Monster as possible, as that is his favorite toilet. The problem that may arise is his refusal to leave 2nd base even if another player gets a hit, we could have a back up of 5 players at first until there is an out.

SP - Johan Santana - Twins: Now first off, i am not even questioning his number 1 ranking here, it is obvious he should be the first SP taken. I am just a little unsure of how ESPN came to this result. Here are their projected stats: 233 IP, 19 W, 246 K, 2.77 ERA. Cy Young Stats, but they say that he is somehow going to do this in 0 games. I know he is great, but wow. That is quite a prediction.

SP - Yankee Staff - Evil Empire: No Yankee SP is in the top 30. That might explain A-Fraud's #1 ranking at 3B as they will be down a ton of runs this year.

SP - Felix Hernandez - Mariners: He is ranked #15. Lets see, 2 years ago he weighed maybe 170 lbs wet, last year looked closer to 230 lbs, so by that progression they must think his playing weight is around 290 lbs, or they believe the Seahawks are closer to a championship and want him to try out as a nose guard.

RP - Takashi Saito - Dodgers: He is ranked #12. In all honesty, i cant question that. I just wished that Gilbert Arenas played baseball in the NL West and everytime he would hit a HR off of Saito this exchange would ensue:

Gilbert: Hibachi!!!!
Saito: No, young sir, it is Takashi.

Alright, first fantasy preview of the year, later this week I have a few things in the works.