A Little House Cleaning

Alright, time for some short blurbs on events from the past week that havent warranted their own column.

The Car Of Tomorrow: NASCAR unvieled its "Car of Tomorrow" this past weekend at Bristol. I am confused as it now is Tuesday. The race was on Sunday, so is it now the "Car of Yesterday". If so, shouldnt they have named it the "Car of March 26, 2007"?

Kobe's Teammates Give Him a Swirley: Finally having enough of Kobe's "shoot first ask whether i have teammates later" approach, the rest of the Laker team grabbed Kobe at his locker and dragged him into the bathroom to give him a swirley. The plan was aborted once they realized the only toilet that Phil Jackson hadnt clogged with his massive "Ego" was occupied with Luke Walton smoking some ganja and listening to The Grateful Dead.

Sergio Garcia trade a Lugie for a Bogie: Everyone has been blasting Sergio for spitting in the cup after he missed a putt. Maybe he just chews tobacco and didnt want to spit in someones line, so in reality, maybe he was following the gentleman rules of golf. John Daly has done so in the past by not puting his cigarette out on someone elses ball, and allowing other players to shoot before belching after he shotguns a beer and has been praised for his actions, definately some Anti-Spain thing going on here, well they did give us the Macarena, so it is justified.

Pete Rose shows up at a Wizards game: Gilbert Arenas supposedly caused a ruckus at NBA headquarters by betting a couple of fans he would hit the game winning shot. It turns out it was mis-reported and it was Pete Rose betting him that the Reds would win a split squad game with the Twins.

Pavano Confused, Shows Up To Start Marlins First Game: Unable to comprehend that the Yankees would consider starting him in the season opener, Pavano thought he was at the wrong complex and showed up to start for the Marlin season opener.

NCAA Refs call their own game: There has been some commotion regarding the calls in favor of the team that brings larger ratings by the refs in this season's NCAA Tourney, heeded by a 25-5 disparity in FT's during the UNC-G-Town tilt. Some say they may have been bribed but NCAA ref John Daugherty said "Those claims are unwarranted". He then threw his Gucci Watch at a bum, as the time it kept was off by a minute and hopped into his recently purchased Hummer Limo, equipped with strippers and a champagne fountain.

Manning finds SNL camera's in Brady's bushes: Peyton appeared on SNL this weekend. His performance has been lauded, (and i dont know what that means, but i think it is positive). Due to his appearance he has now upped his status from Dork to Uber-Dork. Rumor has it that Eli ran Camera #4.

Pacman brings rain to the Nevada Desert: The LV police are bringing charges against Adam "Pacman" Jones in regards to the stripper club shooting over the NBA All-Star Weekend. The Las Vegas police have decided to charge him with all of the 129 stripper club shootings over the past few years to clear their case load since they are pretty sure he was involved in all of them.