Headlines - March 12th

After my attempt at rating all GM's on the Forbes list, i missed quite a few events from the past week that need a little blurb...i love the word blurb dont you?:

TO Doesn't Need No Playbook: It was reported that TO didnt know the playbook, but whats the big deal? Every play is supposed to be designed for him anyways so he should just be able to run wherever he wants and they get him the ball, which of course he will drop.

Playing Pac-Man at the Bowling Alley: Reportedly Pacman Jones got in some more trouble at the bowling alley this weekend. This time supposedly he was the "victim", as if past history doesnt say that maybe he might be involved in some other way. He seems to be taking his trouble away from the streets. He was getting in trouble in the Hood, then a Vegas strip club and now a bowling alley. Rumor has it, his website will post his future altercations that include a frisbee golf tourney, local 4H cow auction and church spring brunch.

Artest = Arrest: It was determined last week that Ron Artest was arrested again in abuse of a woman case. Originally he wasnt going to be charged since it was reported that it was Doug Christie's wife, once they found out it was actually Doug Christie, he was arrested immediately.

Earnhardt Jr gets penalized: It looks like Dale made a rookie mistake by pitting (i kinda like some of these NASCAR terms in relation to double entendre's, pitting and pole to name a few) when he wasn't suppose to. Rumor has it that he had to change his diaper.

Vegas track somehow adds ice to track: Wow, two NASCAR related items in a row. The Vegas track was a major story in terms of the "upgrades" it made over the offseason. I guess these guys are uncomfortable sliding across the pavement at 180 mph. Bunch of Wusses. I do that at the local Mini-Mart all the time, I call that Wednesday.

NE goes with a new offensive plan: I guess with the signings this week that NE is planning on going with the vaunted new offensive plan of 1 QB, 1RB, and 9 WR. Brady is hoping the other team will snap the ball to him, since he is so dreamy and everything.

Noah gets Jiggy with it: Florida Gator's Noah put on a display after winning their conference championship. What really offends me is that the CBS announcer's sat and laughed while a guy was definately having a seizure. I am pretty sure Billy Packer would have been more than happy to perform mouth-to-mouth since he is on a #1 seed from a major conference.

Chris Simon will have some time to try out for the Cubs: After taking a swing at another players neck with his stick, the Cubs have now signed Chris Simon to a 10 year, $135 million deal as the Cubs are looking for some left-handed power. After signing the deal, which was to make him the DH, they realized they play in the NL.

Dis-Mat cut from Red Sox employee Softball team: His current spring training stats are: $50 Million per non-roster invitee HR given up. But in better news, he does lead the league in that category.

ESPN banking on ABC's success: Emmitt Smith is now reported to join the ESPN team. Due to the recent success of ABC's Dancing with the Stars which Smith made it to the finals, they are launching their own version called Dancing with the Anchors. Current teamings are Smith & Suzy Kolber, Stuart Smith & Jemille Hill, Tony Kornheiser & Jim Rome, and Erin Andrews & Standing on Stage. Erin is the runaway favorite.

Matthew's JR promises Angels he will start sucking again: After revelations that he purchased some HGH, which may have assisted his stats last year and the Angel's request for him to tell them the truth, Matthew's Jr has promised to stop taking the drugs and continue on with his general suckiness that has been his trademark up until now.

So there are the headlines from the past few days. In the next few days i plan on updating the first round matchups of the NCAA's tourney so you can fill out your brackets. The Women's bracket of course.